英语小笑话非常短

英语小笑话非常短

【篇一：英语小笑话(非常短)!】


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【篇二：英语小笑话(非常短)!】


part-time job

when my son was a hign-school sophomore, he got a part-time
job sacking groceries at a supermarket. he came home all
smiles.

how was your first day? i asked.

it was great, dad, he replied. i got to talk to some good-looking
girls.

since stephen is not very talkative, i asked, what did you say to
them?

do you prefer paper or plastic?

业余工作

我儿子在 一所中学读二年级时，在一家超级市场找到了一份包装商
品的业余工作。他满面笑容地回到了家。

“第一天感觉如何？”我问。

“好极了，爸爸。”他答道，“我跟许多漂亮的女孩子讲了话。”

由于斯蒂芬不善言谈，我问道：“你跟他们说了些什么？”

“你是喜欢纸包装还是塑料包装？”

keys? kiss?

a friend of mine was giving an english lesson to a class of
adult who had recently come to live in the united states. after
placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he
asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the
book, the pen and so on. the class went very smoothly and the
students seemed interested and serious about the work that
they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an italian
student and said, give me the kays. the man looked surprised
and somewhat at a loss. seeing this, my friend thought that the
student hadn t heard him clearly, so he repeated. give me the
kays. the italian shrugged his shoulders. then, he threw his
arms around the teacher s neck and kissed him on both
cheeks.

钥匙还是接吻

我的一位朋友在给一个成人学生班级上英语课。他们都是新近来美
国生活的。在一张桌子上摆了许多日常 用品之后，他请全班同学给
他挑出尺子，书本，钢笔等。课进行得井然有序，学生们对自己所
做 的似乎很感兴趣，也很认真。后来轮到一名来自意大利的学生，
我的朋友说：“给我钥匙。”那人看起来 非常吃惊，也有点手足无措。
看到这种情况，我的朋友想是他没有听清楚，于是又重复了一遍：
“给我钥匙。”那位意大利学生耸了耸肩。接着，他伸出胳膊搂住老
师的脖子在双颊上亲了两下。

prepare yourself

a story around campus has it taht a student once sent a
telegram to his parents reading: mom - flunked all courses.
kicked out of school. prepare pop.

two days later he received a response: pop prepared. prepare
yourself.

自己做好准备

校园里流传着这样的故事：一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报，上面写着：“妈妈－我所有功课都不及格，被学校开除。让爸爸做好准
备。”

两天以后，他收到了回电：“爸爸已准备好。你自己做好准备吧!”
【篇三：英语小笑话(非常短)!】


搞笑的英语小笑话1：expensive price dentist: i m sorry, madam,
but i ll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your
son s tooth.

mother: twenty-five dollars! but i thought you only charged five
dollars for an extraction.

dentist: i usually do. but your son yelled so loud, he scared
four other patients out of the office.

昂贵的代价

牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。

母亲：二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀?

牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人
了



搞笑的英语小笑话2：i wasn t asleep when a group of women
got on the car, every seat was already occupied. the conductor
noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might
miss his stop, he nudged him and said: wake up, sir!

i wasn t asleep, the man answered.

not asleep? but you had your eyes closed.

i know. i just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a
crowded car.

我没有睡着

当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售 票员注意到一
名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了
碰他，说： 先生，醒醒!

我没有睡着。

那个男人回答。

没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?

我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。

搞笑的英语小笑话3：the poor husband you can t imagine how
difficult it is for me to deal with my wife, the man complained
to his friend. she asks me a question, then answers it herself,
and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my
answer is wrong.

可怜的丈夫

你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难， 一个男人对他的朋友
诉苦说， 她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟
我解释为什么我的答案是错的。

who s more polite?

a fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the
more polite. the skinny man said he was more polite because
he always tipped his hat to ladies. but the fat man knew he was
more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his
seat, two ladies could sit down.

谁更有礼貌?

一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌，因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度，因为无论什么
时候他在车上给别人让座时，总有 两位女士能坐下。

搞笑的英语小笑话4：let dog in hotel a man wrote a letter to a
small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: i would very
much like to bring my dog with me. he is well-groomed and
very well behaved. would you be willing to permit me to keep
him in my room with me at night?

an immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, i ve
been operating this hotel for many years. in all that time, i ve

never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or
pictures off the walls. i ve never had to evict a dog in the
middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. and i ve
never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. yes, indeed, your dog is
welcome at my hotel. and, if your dog will vouch for you, you
re welcome to stay here, too.

一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信， 我非常希望
带着我的狗，它很干净很有教养，你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?

旅馆主人立即回了封信， 我经营旅馆很多年了，狗从没偷过毛巾，
床单， 餐具，或者墙上的 画。我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而
赶走它，狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来 我
们旅馆，如果它为您担保，也欢迎您来。

搞笑的英语小笑话5：intelligent son one day, the father lets
eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the
father then remembered didn t write the address and
addressee s name on the envelope.

after the son comes back, the father asks him: you have
thrown the letter in the mail box?

certainly

you have not seen on the envelope not to write the address
and the addressee name?

i certainly saw nothing written on the envelope.

then why you didn t take it back?

i also thought that you do not write the address and the
addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do
send the letter to who!

聪明的儿子

有一天,父亲让八岁的儿子去寄一封信,儿子已经拿着信跑了,父亲才想
起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。

儿子回来后,父亲问他: 你把信丢进邮筒了吗? 当然 你没看见信封上
没有写地址和收信人名字吗?

我当然看见信封上什么也没写 那你为什么不拿回来呢?

我还以为你不写地址和收信人,是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢!

搞笑的英语小笑话6：put your feet in the school girl was sitting
with her feet streched far out into the aisle ,and was busily
chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. mary ! called the
teacher sharply. yes,madam? questioned the pupil , take that
gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!

把脚放进去

一个女 学生坐在座位上，嘴里起劲地嚼着口香糖，脚却伸到课桌间
的走道里，被老师发现了。

玛丽! 老师严厉地叫她。

什么事，老师? 这女学生问。

把口香糖从嘴里拿出来，把脚放进去。

搞笑的英语小笑话7：i wasn t asleep when a group of women
got on the car, every seat was already occupied. the conductor
noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might
miss his stop, he nudged him and said: wake up, sir!

i wasn t asleep, the man answered.

not asleep? but you had your eyes closed.

i know. i just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a
crowded car.

我没有睡着

当一群妇女上车之后，车 上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一
名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰 了
碰他，说： 先生，醒醒!

我没有睡着。

那个男人回答。

我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。

搞笑的英语小笑话8：the poor husband you can t imagine how
difficult it is for me to deal with my wife, the man complained
to his friend. she asks me a question, then answers it herself,
and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my
answer is wrong.

可怜的丈夫

你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难， 一个男人对他的朋友
诉苦说， 她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟
我解释为什么我的答案是错的。

搞笑的英语小笑话9：where is the father? two brothers were
looking at some beautiful paintings.

look, said the elder brother. how nice these paintings are!

yes, said the younger, but in all these paintings there is only
the mother and the children. where is the father?

the elder brother thought for a moment and then explained,
obviously he was painting the pictures.

父亲在哪儿?

兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的。

看， 哥哥说， 这些画多漂亮呀!

是啊， 弟弟说道， 可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸
去哪儿了呢?

哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道： 很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。

搞笑的英语小笑话10：does the dog know the proverb, too? the
little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

it s all right, said a gentleman, don t be afraid. don t you know
the proverb: barking dogs don t bite?

ah, yes, answered the little boy. i know the proverb, but does
the dog know the proverb, too?

狗也知道这个吗?

一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

没有关系， 一位先生说， 不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗： 吠狗不咬
人。

啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗?

更多英语小笑话：