稻绿蝽-舵手
A Soldier's Brilliant Idea
Mr.
Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and
as he was in a hurry, he decided
to go by air.
He liked sitting beside a window when he was
flying, so when he got on to the
plane, he
looked for a window seat. He found all of them had
already had been taken
except for one. There
was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one,
and Mr. Robinson
was surprised that he had not
taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at
once went
towards it.
When he reached
it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it.
It was written in ink
and said,
never seen
such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he
thought that the plane must
be carrying
something particularly heavy in it, so he walked
on and found another empty
seat, not beside a
window, to sit in.
Two or three people
tried to sit in the window seat beside the
soldier, but they too read the
notice and went
on, when the plane was nearly full, a very
beautiful girl hurried into the
plane. The
soldier, who was watching the passengers coming
in, quickly took the notice
off the seat
beside himself and in this way succeededin having
the company of the girl
during the whole trip.
英语幽默:士兵坐飞机有美女陪伴的高招
由于生
意方面的事,罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急,他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时,他
喜欢靠窗坐,故而一
登机,他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。
在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗
宾逊先生纳闷的是,这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊
先生不管那些,他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。
然而,等到了那儿,他看见座位上有则启事,是用钢笔写的:“为保持装载平衡,特预设该<
br>位置,谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过,他想
飞机上
一定装了什么特别重的物品,于是他找了个不靠窗的位置。
又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士
兵旁的靠窗座位上,他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座
时,一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直
在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空
座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法,成功地找到了一位姑娘一
路作伴。
故事一:
One night a hotel
caught fire, and the people who were staying in it
ran out in their night
clothes.
一天晚上,一家旅馆失火,住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡衣就跑了出来。
Two men
stood outside and looked at the fire.
两个人站在外面,看着大火。
Before I came out, said one,
I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of
money.
People don't think of money when
they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in
a
fire, the fire burns it. So I took all the
bills that I could find. No one will be poorer
because I
took them.
在我出来之前,其中一个说,我跑进一些房间,
找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱
的。如果有人把纸币留在火里,火就会把它烧成灰烬,所以我
把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了,
没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。
You don't
know my work, said the other.
你不知道我是干什么的,另一个说。
What is your work?
你是干什么的?
I'm a
policeman.
我是警察。
Oh! cried the first man.
He thought quickly and said, and do you know my
work? No, said
the policeman.
噢!第一个人喊了一声,他灵机一动,说:那你知道我是干什么的?不知道。警察说。
I'm
a writer. I'm always telling stories about things
that never happened.
我是个作家,我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。
故事二:
Three
competing store owners rented adjoining(毗连的) shops
in a mall. Observers
waited for
mayhem(故意的伤害罪,蓄意的破坏) to ensue.
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺,旁观者等着瞧好戏。
The
retailer on the right put up huge signs saying,
Gigantic Sale! and Super Bargains!
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:大减价!特便宜!
The store on
the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, Prices
Slashed! and Fantastic
Discounts!
左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:大砍价!大折扣!
The owner in the
middle then prepared a large sign that simply
stated, ENTRANCE.
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:入口处。
故事三:
A crowd of student was gathered on
the campus of Oxford University. “You can have no
doubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that
if the Dean does not take back what he said
to
me this morning, I’ll leave Oxford this very
evening!”
A buzzing noise followed. “What a
man of actions!” one said in admiration. “How
should we support him and learn from him!”
said another.
Suddenly, a girl asked, “What
did the Dean say to you, Hob?”
He bent and
whispered to her, “Well,er???er???Miss Rose,
er???he told me to get
clean away from Oxford
this very evening!”
一个言出必行的人
一群学生聚在牛津的校园里,一个年轻人情绪激动地叫道:“毋庸置疑,如果那个家
伙
不收回他今早对我说的话,我今晚就离开牛津。”
下面一片喧哗。“真是个言出必行的人。”一个人艳羡地说。另一个说:“我们要支持他、
学习他。”
突然,一个女孩问道:“那家伙对你说什么了,霍波?”
他弯下腰小声说:“哦,呃…呃…,罗斯小姐,呃…他说要我今晚从牛津滚出去。”
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