自考综合英语课文翻译、历年考题及课后答案105

自考综合英语课文翻译、历年考题及课后
答案105

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Lesson Five Are you Giving Your Kids Too Much?
1 While traveling for various speaking
engagements, I frequently stay overnight in the
home of a family and am assigned to one of the
children's bedrooms. In it, I often find so many
playthings that there's almost no room - for my
small toilet kit. And the closet is usually so
tightly packed with clothes that I can barely
squeeze in my jacket.
2 I'm not complaining, only making a point.
I think that the tendency to give children an
overabundance of toys and clothes is quite
common in American families, and I think that
in far too many families not only do children
come to take their parents' generosity for
granted, but also the effects of this can actually
be somewhat harmful to children.
3 Of course, I'm not only thinking of the
material possessions children are given.
Children can also be overindulged with too
many privileges - for example, when parents
send a child to an expensive summer camp that

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the parents can't really afford.
4 Why parents give their children too much,
or give things they can't afford? I believe there
are several reasons.
5 One fairly common reason is that parents
overindulge their children out of a sense of guilt.
Parents who both hold down full-time jobs may
feel guilty about the amount of time they spend
away from their children[0804:64] and may
attempt to compensate by showering them with
material possessions.
6 Other parents overindulge because they
want their children to have everything they had
while growing up, along with those things the
parents yearned for but didn't get. Still others
are afraid to say no to their children's endless
requests for toys for fear that their children will
feel unloved or will be ridiculed if they don't
have the same playthings their friends have.
7 Overindulgence of a child also happens
when parents are unable to stand up to their
children's unreasonable demands.[0907:61;

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1001:61] Such parents vacillate between saying
no and giving in - but neither response seems
satisfactory to them. If they refuse a request,
they immediately feel a wave of remorse for
having been so strict or ungenerous. If they give
in, they feel regret and resentment over having
been a pushover.[0610:44] This kind of
vacillation not only impairs the parents' ability
to set limits, it also sours the parent-child
relationship to some degree, robbing parents
and their children of some of the happiness and
mutual respect that should be present in healthy
families.
8 But overindulging children with material
things does little to lessen parental guilt [0907:32]
(since parents never feel that they've given
enough), nor does it make children feel more
loved (for what children really crave is parents’
time and attention). Instead, the effects of
overindulgence can be harmful. Children may,
to some degree, become greedy, self-centered,
ungrateful and insensitive to the needs and

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feelings of others, beginning with their parents.
When children are given too much, it
undermines their respect for their parents. In
fact, the children begin to sense that a parent's
unlimited generosity is not right. The
paradoxical result may be that these children
will push further, unconsciously hoping that, if
they push too hard, they will force their parents
into setting limits.
9 Also, overindulged children are not as
challenged as children with fewer playthings to
be more creative in their play. [0607:50] They
have fewer opportunities to learn the value of
money, and have less experience in learning to
deal with a delay in gratification, if every
requested object is given on demand.
10 The real purpose of this discussion is not
to tell parents how much or how little to give to
their children. Rather, my intent is to help those
parents who have already sensed that they
might be overindulging their children but don't
know how to stop.

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11 Parents who are fortunate enough not to
have a problem with feelings of guilt don't need
to respond crossly to their children when
denying a specific request which is thought to be
unreasonable. They can explain, cheerfully, that
it's too expensive - except perhaps as a birthday
or holiday gift - or that the child will have to
contribute to its purchase from an allowance or
from the earnings of an outside job. [0310:43]
12 It's the cheerfulness and lack of
hesitation that impress upon the child that
parents mean what they say. A cross response
signals that the parents are in inner
conflict.[0410:42] In fact, I'll make a rash
statement that I believe is true, by and large:
Children will abide by what their parents
sincerely believe is right. They only begin
arguing and pestering when they detect
uncertainty or guilt, and sense that their parents
can be pushed to give them what they want, if
they just keep at it. But the truth is that a child
really wants parents to be in control - even if it