koc什么意思-精卫填海翻译
自考综合英语课文翻译、历年考题及课后
答案105
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Lesson Five Are you
Giving Your Kids Too Much?
1 While traveling
for various speaking
engagements, I frequently
stay overnight in the
home of a family and am
assigned to one of the
children's bedrooms. In
it, I often find so many
playthings that
there's almost no room - for my
small toilet
kit. And the closet is usually so
tightly
packed with clothes that I can barely
squeeze
in my jacket.
2 I'm not complaining, only
making a point.
I think that the tendency to
give children an
overabundance of toys and
clothes is quite
common in American families,
and I think that
in far too many families not
only do children
come to take their parents'
generosity for
granted, but also the effects
of this can actually
be somewhat harmful to
children.
3 Of course, I'm not only
thinking of the
material possessions children
are given.
Children can also be overindulged
with too
many privileges - for example, when
parents
send a child to an expensive summer
camp that
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the parents can't
really afford.
4 Why parents give their
children too much,
or give things they can't
afford? I believe there
are several reasons.
5 One fairly common reason is that parents
overindulge their children out of a sense of
guilt.
Parents who both hold down full-time
jobs may
feel guilty about the amount of time
they spend
away from their children[0804:64]
and may
attempt to compensate by showering
them with
material possessions.
6 Other
parents overindulge because they
want their
children to have everything they had
while
growing up, along with those things the
parents yearned for but didn't get. Still
others
are afraid to say no to their
children's endless
requests for toys for fear
that their children will
feel unloved or will
be ridiculed if they don't
have the same
playthings their friends have.
7
Overindulgence of a child also happens
when
parents are unable to stand up to their
children's unreasonable demands.[0907:61;
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1001:61] Such parents
vacillate between saying
no and giving in -
but neither response seems
satisfactory to
them. If they refuse a request,
they
immediately feel a wave of remorse for
having
been so strict or ungenerous. If they give
in,
they feel regret and resentment over having
been a pushover.[0610:44] This kind of
vacillation not only impairs the parents'
ability
to set limits, it also sours the
parent-child
relationship to some degree,
robbing parents
and their children of some of
the happiness and
mutual respect that should
be present in healthy
families.
8 But
overindulging children with material
things
does little to lessen parental guilt [0907:32]
(since parents never feel that they've given
enough), nor does it make children feel more
loved (for what children really crave is
parents’
time and attention). Instead, the
effects of
overindulgence can be harmful.
Children may,
to some degree, become greedy,
self-centered,
ungrateful and insensitive to
the needs and
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feelings of
others, beginning with their parents.
When
children are given too much, it
undermines
their respect for their parents. In
fact, the
children begin to sense that a parent's
unlimited generosity is not right. The
paradoxical result may be that these children
will push further, unconsciously hoping that,
if
they push too hard, they will force their
parents
into setting limits.
9 Also,
overindulged children are not as
challenged as
children with fewer playthings to
be more
creative in their play. [0607:50] They
have
fewer opportunities to learn the value of
money, and have less experience in learning to
deal with a delay in gratification, if every
requested object is given on demand.
10 The real purpose of this discussion is not
to tell parents how much or how little to give
to
their children. Rather, my intent is to
help those
parents who have already sensed
that they
might be overindulging their
children but don't
know how to stop.
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11 Parents who are
fortunate enough not to
have a problem with
feelings of guilt don't need
to respond
crossly to their children when
denying a
specific request which is thought to be
unreasonable. They can explain, cheerfully,
that
it's too expensive - except perhaps as a
birthday
or holiday gift - or that the child
will have to
contribute to its purchase from
an allowance or
from the earnings of an
outside job. [0310:43]
12 It's the
cheerfulness and lack of
hesitation that
impress upon the child that
parents mean what
they say. A cross response
signals that the
parents are in inner
conflict.[0410:42] In
fact, I'll make a rash
statement that I
believe is true, by and large:
Children will
abide by what their parents
sincerely believe
is right. They only begin
arguing and
pestering when they detect
uncertainty or
guilt, and sense that their parents
can be
pushed to give them what they want, if
they
just keep at it. But the truth is that a child
really wants parents to be in control - even
if it