原来如此英语系列：僵尸攻略

These days, you have to watch your back. Danger may be lurking where you least
expect it. You may find a relative, friend or neighbor coming after one thing--your
brain.

最近危机四伏，你可得小心。亲戚、朋友、邻居也许会争先恐后扑向你--咬你脑袋。

This Halloween is forecasted to be a high season for zombie attacks and we're going
to help you get through it, brain intact. This is Zombies in Plain English.

万圣节是僵尸肆虐的节日。想保住脑袋，听我支招——僵尸攻略。

The first step is identifying a zombie. Let's take your uncle Dan. Here is Dan as we all
know him-a normal guy. Now let's look at Dan as a zombie.

先学习辨认僵尸。以段大叔为例，这是正常的段大叔。变成僵尸的大叔是什么模样呢？

Notice the unnatural mouth position and dark eyes and shoulders will be off-kilter,
arms, reaching, grabbing. Legs, limpy-skin, pale. This is a zombie.

驼背，步履蹒跚，张牙舞爪，肤色惨白，烂嘴巴，黑眼圈。

Be careful this Halloween- you may see people that resemble zombies. Remember,
zombies don't eat candy-only brains.

万圣节你要仔细辨认哦，有些人打扮得像僵尸。真僵尸不吃糖，只吃人脑。

You may also see them dancing with Michael Jackson those are actors. Zombies
don't dance!

跟迈克·杰克逊一起跳舞的也不是僵尸，他们是演员。做僵尸没心情跳舞。

When you encounter a real zombie, it's time to have a plan. Here's how to survive an
attack.

做好准备，遇到真僵尸才不怕。下面教你对付僵尸。

Your first reaction may be to retreat to a home or business. This is only a short term
solution because they will never stop-ever.

多数人躲在家里或办公楼里。这些地方不宜久留，因为僵尸会穷追猛打。

Instead, consider heading to a CostCo. Don't plan to wait out an attack without
proper rations. Now keep your cool-remember that zombies may move quickly in the
early stages of inflection.

最好躲进大型超市，那里不愁吃喝。保持冷静，别以为僵尸动作慢。

Don't underestimate their speed. Also, consider a retreat to high altitudes-studies
have shown that zombies react poorly to cold weather, causing them to become
brittle and slow. And remember those rations.

感染初期，它们身手也很敏捷。不妨躲 到山上。研究表明，僵尸在低温下行动迟缓，
肢体易断裂。

Lastly, zombies can't swim, so a retreat via boat can help.

僵尸也不能游泳，乘船也比较靠谱。别忘了带上口粮。

If you're not the retreating type, the obvious next move is counter-attack. This
brings us to our last step-how to kill the Undead.

如果自觉孔武有力，还可以反击。最后教你干掉这些活死人。

The simple idea is kill the brain, stop the zombie. This is generally done through
head trauma or decapitation. But any method that removes the zombie-brain's ability
to direct the undead body will work.

最简单的办法砸烂脑袋。砍掉也行。总之要让它身首异处。

As starting points, we suggest large caliber bullets to the head, or decapitation via
machete, ax or chainsaw. Now, chainsaws are advanced tools that should be used
carefully. Napalm or grenades can also be effective, but be careful!

建议新手用大口径子弹爆头，大刀、斧头、电锯也挺管用。电锯虽然给力，使用要小
心。燃烧弹和手榴弹效果也很好，但要注意。

A flaming zombie can be even more dangerous than a normal one. If your friend has
a zombie bite, unfortunately there is only one outcome. Infection is absolutely
irreversible.

烧着没有死透的僵尸更可怕。万一朋友被僵尸咬了,千万别救他。

Don't bother with antiseptic or band-aids. Your friend is not your friend anymore.
Face the inevitable and save your brain. Kill them with dignity before they become
undead too.

没得救，他已经不是你朋友了。趁还没变身，赶紧干掉他。

Remember: Be prepared. Plan your route and rations, be on the lookout, and when
they...Whoa-this just in! We've receive an unconfirmed report that zombies have
been sighted in southern British Columbia. They may be heading south. Repeat.
Heading South.

记住：找好藏身点，备足口粮，时刻警惕——刚收 到消息，北面发现僵尸。它们正朝
南进发，重复一遍，朝南。

Sachi? What the? Did you hear that? Uhhh, uuuuuh.

亲爱的，你怎么啦？那是什么？啊......

The question is: Are you prepared?

你准备好了么？

Have a fun, safe and zombie-free Halloween from your friends at Common Craft.

原来如此节目祝您度过一个安全无毒无害的万圣节。



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