田的组词：2020届浙江省温州一中高考英语二模读后续写讲评课(8页)

2020年11月29日发(作者：辛晓琪)
浙江省温州一中高考英语二模读后续写讲评课

本节课特色：
1. 场景切分，所给文本可根据主要情节分成4个scenes:
1）Dana赠与Tim鼠娃娃； 2）Dana邀请Tim参加她的生日会；
3）Tim和妈妈为Dana挑礼物；4) Dana告知Tim她父母礼物不是真的老鼠。
不同于常规的6要素把握一个整体，场景的切分可以由 点到面，扩充故事，树立
立体故事画面感。根据story mountain的模式，将几个scenes串联在故事中，起
承转合，推动情节。
2 矛 盾冲突的场景分析：Dana父母的礼物由老鼠变换成自行车，导致Tim之前
买的塑料球似乎派不上用 场了；再结合线索词句，对所给提示句进行Q- A模式，
回答提问，头脑风暴，从而使学生能清晰明白故事走向
3 课堂输入式的翻译：根据固定的故事走向，进行中译英句子翻译；
4.发散性的多样语言表达：一句多译，发挥句型与词句的多样性，让学生显性输
出。

达成目标:
1．利用场景，构建story mountain，会分析故事情节，把握人物性格，不偏题；
2. 围绕主题写，侧重Tim问题解决和处理能力，体现友谊。
2．句子的翻译和多样表达，让学生的语料库能够灵活运用起来
3．通过其他同学的考场作文 ，学习优秀表达；也可以进行评析，取其精华去其
糟粕，共同进步。
教学步骤
Step 1. Read for main plots
Q1. Main characters and their relationship
快速浏览文章，找到主要人物，明确主题
Q2. What happened to them? (main plots) 遵循记叙文6要素
根据故事线，进行故事梳理，建议分成4个场景 ; 再根据story mountain的模式，
把握故事走向。
Step 2. Predict possible plot development
Clue 1 线索词 gifts
Clue 2 线索句To explore the sentences describing Dana, the rat toy and Tim, what
could you learn from them ?
Clue 3 线索情节: Infer and brainstorm by raising questions
把握人物情感，根据线索，进行提问和回答（Q-A模式），理清续写方向。
Step 3. Draft a continuation （用上至少5个underlined Words）
Task 1 语言基础 Task 2：多种表达 Task 3：起草续写
Step 4. Check and copy your version
Step 5 讲评学生考场作文或者修改后的作品 （可以放在下个课时处理）






A Rat for Dana
温二模续写讲评
Step for main plots
Q1. Main characters and their relationship？
Dana:a rat kind of person
Tim: Dana's good friend, classmate
Q2. What happened to them?(main plots)
At Dana's yard sale, Tim chose a baseball from the toys spread on the card table
and asked about the price.
Dana told him everything was a quarter except Nezumi, a cotton toy rat. It was
gray with some cotton sticking out from the hole where an ear had been torn off.

sighed.
Tim laughed saying he didn't have ten dollars. Dana laughed, too and gave Nezumi
to Tim as a free gift because he was her friend. When ITim whispered it was sort of old,
Dana said old toys were the best.

Scene 1: At Dana's yard sale
Dana gave Nezumi,a cotton toy rat with an ear torn off, to Tim as a free gift.
She then invited Tim to her birthday party the next evening, adding that her parents
were giving her a real rat for her birthday. Tim was amazed and asked if it was a live
rat.

Scene 2: Dana invited Tim to her birthday and said she would get a real rat from her
parents.
At home，Tim's mother showed him the gift she had bought for was a
knitting spool（编织线轴）shaped like a said Dana could knit a scarf
for her sighed that Dana wasn't a knittingkind of person but a rat kind of
laughed after knowing what'd er they drove to the pet
store，where Tim searched and searched and selected a clear plastic ball，one in
which the rat could run around on the floor safe from cats and thought of
Nezumi's ear and decided Dana's new rat would need this ball.
Scene 3: At home----in a pet store
At home: Tim's mother showed him the gift,a knitting spool shaped like a mushroom In
a pet store: Tim selected a clear plastic ball for Dana.

The next day, Dana brought cupcakes to she handed a cupcake to Tim,
she asked if Tim brought Nezumi to school as Nezumi liked to ride in backpacks. Tim
was at a loss because Nezumi was at home on his bed. Then Dana asked what gift he
was giving her. Tim replied it was a surprise. In silence they sat for a while before he
heard Dana say her parents were giving her a new bike for her birthday instead of a live
rat because they thought rats would bite things.

Scene 4: In the classroom Dana told Tim that her parents were giving her a new bike
instead of a live rat, then they fell into silence.

Step 1:Read for the main plots

Step t possible plot development
Clue 1线索词：gifts
birthday's gits
from Dana to Tim Nezumi
from Dana's parents A bike
from Tim ？
Clue 2 线索句：Dana=====Nezumi
told him everything was a quarter except Nezumi
2.，so he's ten dollars.
He needs a safe new home.
Tim whispered it was sort of old，Dana said old toys were the best.
she handed a cupcake to Tim，she asked if Tim brought Nezumi to
school as Nezumi liked to ride in backpacks.
silence they sat for a while before he heard Dana say her parents were giving
her a new bike for her birthday instead of a live rat because they thought rats would bite
things.
What could you learn from the sentence above？
Clue3线索情节：Infer and brainstorm by raising questions
Paragraph 1:
At home that afternoon, Tim stared at the plastic rat ball.
Paragraph 2:
All of a sudden, he had an idea.
What was the idea?(to buy a real rat? To mend the old toy rat?.....)
How to deal with it ?process of preparing? What did Tim think of his new gift for
Dana?
etc.
Step a continuation（起草续篇）用上至少5个underline的
Words:Tim，g ift，person，Nezumi，Dana，like，surprise，ball，friend，b est
Task 1 语言基础
1.随着时间的流逝
With time going by proceeding， As time proceeded
冲出房门，迅速地“砰”一声关上门。
Tim dashed out the room，slamming the door quickly
3.他找到妈妈，拽着她的手臂，恳求妈妈帮忙修复这个旧的鼠娃娃
He found his mom，clenching her arm，pleading her to perfectmend the torn-off
toy rat.
4.他激动地从床上起来，号召着妈妈带他去宠物店
ExcitedlyExcitedThrilled，jumping down from bedrolling out of bed，Tim
appealed his mother to go to pet shop with him
5.他突然想到有种老鼠不会咬人的，就像Dana很善良，不会
伤害别人一样。
It hit him that（it occurred to dawned on struck sb that）there was a
kind of rat not biting anyone，just like Dana who never hurt others.
6.沉浸在温暖的氛围中，他们彼此拥抱，彼此明白，这个老
鼠成为了他们友谊最好的见证.
Bathed in（Immersed inLost in）the warm atmosphere，they hugged with each
other，clearly knowing that the rat became an affirmation of their everlasting
friendship.
Task2：多种表达训练
1.一想到他准备的球会没用了，他感到很失落。
OnUpon thinking that the ball he prepared would be useless，he felt
disappointedin despair.
The instant he thought the ball he prepared would be useless，his heart sank into
an abyss of disappointment.
Thinking that the ball he prepared would be useless，he sat there，
whole room was covered with a blanket of silence.
从没想过在装饰和修补后，鼠娃娃会焕然一新，他的心里感到一阵激
动。
Being overcomeoverwhelmed by excitement，Tim had never thought the rat toy
would be refreshed after being decorated and mended.（非谓语）Never had Tim
thought the rat toy would be refreshed after being decorated and mended，an air of
excitementfloated in the airhis face was litbrightened with
excitement.（倒装句）Tim failed to learn it was after being decorated and mended
that the rat toy would be such amazing，his eyes twinkling with
pleasure.（强调句、独立主格）
3.收到了来自Tim的礼物后，Dana心里乐开了花。
Having received the present from Tim，Dana was overjoyed
was wild with joy.
When Dana received...her face was lightened with happiness.
Having received the present from Tim，Dana jumped to joyl let out a
scream.（具体的动作）Dana's lively eyes glittered（闪烁）like the black pearls full
of joy.
An air of delighthappiness floated in the air.比喻
Step and copy your version（检查誉写）
tical mistakes
ation
five underlined words or phrases
参考范文
Paragraph 1：At home that afternoon，Tim stared at the plastic rat
ing about the use of the clear plastic ball if Dana had no rat，he started
walking up and down the room with a frown on his was surprised and asked
him what was told her Dana wasn't getting a live rat from her parents
but a they were racking their brains to come up with an appropriate gift，Tim
turned around and saw Nezumi on his bed.
Paragraph 2：All ofa sudden，he had an lifted Nezumi and squeezed
Nezumi into the plastic ball with great caution so that Nezumi would be safe from cats
and this，Mom asked Tim whether he was giving Dana an old cotton rat
with one ear as a gift，Tim nodded with a smile saying she would definitely like
g at Mom's confused expression，Tim added that Dana was a Nezumi kind of
person who thought old toys were the BEST.
Paragraph 2：
All ofa sudden，he had an idea.
rats so much？
the pet store，where Tim found some lovely small rats，each in its own cage running
around full of energy.
Carefully he examined them one by one and finally chose a gray one looking quite
like Nezumi.！