凤凰血简短的英语笑话带翻译

2020年12月27日发(作者：卜学亮)
简短的英语笑话带翻译
篇一：短篇英语笑话10则带翻译
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译
① Goldfish金鱼
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛） them!

================================================= ===========
======= 斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？
斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！
② The Revenge 欺骗的代价
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his
bed. With a low voice he said to his wife:
marry farmer Jones.

a horse deal!

============================ ================================
======= 老农约翰逊就 要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地
对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，
我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子：“为什么？”
约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”
③ I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

=================== =========================================
===== == 精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？
病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？
病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
④ How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来
Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess
explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed,
one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, meeting my wife
right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?

========================== ==================================
=======
当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他
们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到 这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我
马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”
⑤ Where Am I 我在哪儿
An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside.
He saw a farmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car
and asked the farmer,
farmer looked at him strangely and said, are in your car,
sir.
========
一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路，他看见一个农民正在附近的地
里干活。于是他就把车开过去问那位农民 ：“劳驾，您能告诉我我现在
这是在哪儿吗？” “可以。”农夫奇怪地看了看他，然后说道：“你现在
在你的车子里，先生。”
⑥ Why do you never phone me?你为什么不给我打电话？
Mrs Harris lives in a small village. Her husband is dead, but she has
one son. He is twenty-one and his name is Geoff. He worked in the shop in
the village and lived with his mother, but then he got work in a town and
went ant lived there. Its name was Greensea. It was quite a long way from
his mother's village, and she was not happy about this, but Geoff said,

lot of money in Greensea and send you some every week.
very angry last Sunday. She got in a train and went to her son's house in
Greensea. Then she said to him, why do you never phone me?
Geoff laughed.
she answered,

================================================= ===========
========== 我会告诉你这篇没有中文翻译吗。。。
⑦ The Same Action Yields the Same Result相同的投资相同的结果
A couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest,
and made an appointment with the pilot to come back and fetch them in
about two weeks. At the end of the two weeks, they had shot a lot of
animals that they wanted to load onto the plane. But the pilot said,
plane won't be able to take more than one wild buffalo. You'll have to
leave the others the hunters protested, saying, last
year, another pilot with the same airplane let us take two buffalos and
some other animals in the plane as well.
it. He was a little bit skeptical, but finally he said,
year, I guess this year we can do it again.
and a few other animals in, and the plane took off. Five minutes later, it
crashed in a neighboring area. The three men climbed out and looked
around, and one hunter said to the other, do you think we are
now?second one surveyed the area and said, think we're about
one mile to the left of the place we crashed last year.

============ ========================================================== 有两个猎人包机前往一座森林，到了以后，他们和飞行员
约定好两周后来接 。两周后，他们射了许多动物，而且打算把这些动
物全部搬上那架小飞机，可是飞行员说：“这架飞机除 了
一头野牛外，没办法再多载了。你们必须把其他的猎物都留下。”
猎人说：“但是去 年另一个飞行员开一样的飞机，就让我们带两只水牛，
还有一些其他的动物上机！” 因为他们这样抗议 ，所以那个新飞行员
想了一想后，尽管还是有点存疑，最后还是妥协说：“好吧！如果去年
可以 做到，今年应该也可以。”所以他装了两头水牛和一些其他的动物。
结果飞机起飞五分钟后，就坠落在邻 近的地方。这3个人从飞机爬出
来看了看四周，其中一个猎人对另一个说：“你认为我们现在在哪儿？”
那个人瞧了一下，说：“我想大概距离去年坠机的地方西边一英哩远！”
⑧ Chief is at the wedding 长官在婚礼上
A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.


the chief gets back.


A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said,
are lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good
mood when he gets back.


======== ================================================== ==
========== 大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。“但是警官”这个
人说道，“我可以解释的”。 “保持安静”，警察突然说道。“我将把你送
往监狱，直到长官回来。“但是，警察，我，，，”。 “ 我说过了保持安静，
你要到监狱了。”几小时后，警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好，因
为 我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。”
“你确定”在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀”。
⑨ Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to
ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing
and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.

====== ================================================== ====
========== 父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你
个问 题。你们班上谁最懒？汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。父亲：啊，不对，
你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做 作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐
着，只是看人家做功课？汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。
⑩ Two Birds 两只鸟
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow.
Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is
beside the swallow.

=============== =============================================
= ========= 老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕
子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生 ：我指不出，但我知道答案。老师：请说说
看。学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
篇二：简单的英语笑话带翻译
Blonde's Appendicitis- 金发美女的阑尾炎
A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and
says,
The blonde says,
help.
一个金发美女的腹部侧面感到剧痛。医 生检查之后告诉他：“你
得了急性阑尾炎。（金发美女听成acute 以为是a cute，一个可爱的阑
尾炎）”
金发美女说：“您真贴心，医生，但是我是来求医的。”
Little Johnny... Finding Jesus 小强尼-寻找耶稣
A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a
little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, is Jesus
today?raises his hand and says, in s,

in our bathroom!surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he
knows this.
bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in
there?!'一名主日学校 的老师担心他的学生们有可能对耶稣感到困惑，
于是他问他的学生们：“耶稣今天在哪里？”斯蒂芬举起 他的手，说道：
“他在天堂。”玛丽回答：“他在我心里。”小强尼用力挥了挥手，脱口而
出： “他在我们浴室里！”大吃一惊的老师问小强尼他怎么知道这个。“这
个嘛，”小强尼说：“每天早上， 我父亲起床后，都会敲浴室的门喊着?
基督-耶稣，你还在里面啊？?”
Little Johnny... Know It All 小强尼什么都知道
Little Johnny asks his mother her replies,
ask ladies that asks his mother how much she
his mother replies, don't ask ladies that
then asks, did Daddy leave you?this, the
mother says,
way, Johnny trips over his mother's purse. When he picks it up, her driver's
license falls runs back into the room.
You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and Daddy left you because you
got an 'F' in sex!小 强尼问他母亲的年龄是多少。她回答道：“绅士们是
不会问女士们这个问题的。”于是强尼问他母亲她的 体重是多少。他的
母亲再一次回答：“绅士们是不会问女士们这个问题的。”于是这孩纸问：
“ 为什么爸爸离开了你？”对于这个问题，这位母亲说：“你不应该问这
个问题。”然后把他送回他自己的 房间。在走的时候，强尼被他母亲的
钱包绊倒。当他把钱包捡起来的时候，她的驾照掉了出来。强尼跑回
母亲的房间说：“现在关于你的问题我都知道答案了。你36岁了，体
重127磅，还有爸爸离 开你的原因是因为你在sex上的考评是F！”（got
an 'F' in sex，孩纸啊，你想歪了，那是“性别：女”啊……）
Little Johnny... Definite Definition 小强尼-肯定的定义
The preschool teacher says, going to do vocabulary today.
Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?raises her hand
and exclaims, me me!teacher says, ahead, what's the
sentence?Mary replies, sky is definitely , Mary,
says the teacher, the sky can also be gray or his
hand and states,
Sam, but grass can be brown, too.

The teacher says, Johnny, why do you ask that?Johnny
replies, 幼儿园老师说：“我们今天要做
词汇题了。谁能在句子里运用“肯定”这个 词？”玛丽举了手大声说：“我
我我！”老师说：“你说吧，什么句子？”玛丽回答：“天空肯定是蓝蓝
的。”“回答得不错，玛丽”老师点评道：“但天空也可能是灰色或者白色
的。”山姆举手说道 ：“草地肯定是绿色的。”老师说：“回答得不错，山
姆，但是草地也可能是棕色的。”小强尼举手问道 ：“屁会结成块儿吗？”
老师说：“不会的，强尼，你为什么问这个问题？”小强尼回答：“好吧，我“肯定”大便在裤裆里了。”
经同意转载自：
篇三：超简短的5个英文笑话
超简短的5个英文笑话 1.
Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. 老师：
谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。
One boy throws his bag out the window.
一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。
Teacher: who just threw that?!
老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.
男孩：我!我现在要回家了。
2.
What dog can jump higher than a building?
什么狗比大楼跳的还高?
Anydog, buildings can't jump!
任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。
3.
What has a head, a tail, and no body?
什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体?
A coin!
硬币。
4.
What has one eye but cannot see?
什么有一只眼睛，却看不见?
A needle.
针。
5.
Wife:
妻子：你会怎么形容我呢?
Husband:
丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.
Wife:
妻子：那是什么意思?
Husband:
gorgeous, and hot.
丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、
漂亮的和火辣的。
Wife:
妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?
Husband:
丈夫：开个玩笑!