scientist英语流利说Level 6 Unit 2 love lab学习笔记

2021年1月9日发(作者：吉皎)
英语流利说Level 6 Unit 2 Reading
Love lab
How we communicate with our romantic partners can have a strong
impact on the quality of our relationships. Psychologists John and Julie
Gottman run the Love Lab, where thousands of couples have been
studied over the last 30 years. The purpose of their research is to
determine the factors that lead to happy and unhappy relationships.
From their data, they have concluded that contempt, criticism,
defensiveness, and stonewalling are the most significant factors that can
hurt a marriage or relationship.
Among these, contempt is the biggest predictor of divorce.
People who feel contempt for their partner often convey disapproval
without addressing the issue. They sometimes label their partner with
insulting words such as “lazy””stupid”or”emotional”, which is particularly
damaging.
Many couples try to address issues by criticizing their partner’s
flaws or mistakes directly. Being too direct with criticism can hurt your
partner’s self- esteem. Some people may react to criticism by becoming
defensive and focused on winning the argument, rather than on
improving themselves. Others may react to criticism by stonewalling,
where they refuse to acknowledge and respond to their partner for a
period of time. Unfortunately, fighting back or ignoring your partner
can make it difficult to determine the root of your problems. If your
partner feels that they aren’t valued, it may lead to increased
dissatisfaction with the relationship.
The Gottmans maintain that being aware of these factors in
communication is the first step to improving a relationship. It is
important to acknowledge that all relationships have issues. The goal
shouldn’t be to avoid these issues, but to learn to resolve them. In
particular, we should avoid communicating in ways that hurt our
partner’s self-esteem. It is better to discuss problems in a way that is less
confrontational and can better help your partner sympathize with your
perspective. For example, rather than saying”Why are you ignoring me?
It’s rude!” One could say “I feel hurt and undervalued when I don’t get a
response from you.” By being conscious of how we communicate with
our partner, we can begin to build a healthier relationship.

Question
1. The tone of this passage is -- logical and insightful.
2. What is the purpose of the Gottman’s research?
- To identify characteristics of successful or unsuccessful relationships.
3. Someone who is defensive in an argument will probably
--- not admit fault.
To confront something means--- to face it.