乌烟瘴气关于圣诞节的英语笑话

2021年1月14日发(作者：雍正帝)
关于圣诞节的英语笑话
【篇一：英语小笑话】



英语小笑话（1）不差钱

looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctors
consulting-room. 一个愁容满面的穷人走进大夫的诊室。

doctor, he said, you must help me. i swallowed a penny about
a month ago.

大夫！他说，你一定要帮帮我！一个月前我吞了一分硬币！ good
heavens, man! said the doctor. why have you waited so long?

why dont you come to me on the day you swallowed it?

天哪，你这个人啊大夫说，早干嘛去了？你当时怎么不来看？ to
tell you the truth, doctor, the poor man replied, i didnt need the
money so badly then.

实话告诉您吧，大夫，穷人说，我当时还不缺钱！

英语小笑话（2）迟到了！

teacher:why are you late for school every morning?

tom:every time i come to the corner,a sign says,school-go
slow.

老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到? 汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就
看见一个牌子上写着学校 ----慢行.

英语小笑话（3）你会说什么

how much english can you speak?

your honor, i want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for
my client to be accused of theft. he arrived in new york city a
week ago and barely knew his way around. whats more, he
only speaks a few words of english.

the judge looked at the defendant and asked, how much
english can you speak?

the defendant looked up and said, give me your wallet!

法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。他一周前
才来到纽约，几乎不认路。

而且，他只会说几个英语单词。

法官看了看被告，问道：你会说多少英文？

被告抬起头，说：把你的钱包给我！

英语小笑话（4）可怜的丈夫

the poor husband

you cant imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife,
the man complained to his friend. she asks me a question,
then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for
half an hour why my answer is wrong.

中文翻译：

可怜的丈夫

“你根本 无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋
友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答 了，过后又花半个小时
跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”

英语小笑话（5）我没有睡着

i wasnt asleep

when a group of women got on the car, every seat was already
occupied. the conductor noticed a man who seemed to be
asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and
said: wake up, sir! i wasnt asleep, the man answered. not asl

eep? but you had your eyes closed. i know. i just hate to look
at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car.

中文翻译：

我没有睡着

当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一< br>名男子好像是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用胳膊肘轻轻地
碰了碰他，说:“先生，醒醒! ” “我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。 “没睡
着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?” “我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的
车上有女士站在我身边而已。”

英语小笑话（6）一个真正的男子汉

one real man

the ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the
statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives.
he had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and
warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be
punished severely（严格地，严厉地）.

then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives directions
and counsel（劝告，建议） to step to the left side of the hall.
all the men did so but one little man who moved to the right. its
good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in

the kingdom. tell these chickenhearted（胆小的） dunces（傻
瓜） why you alone among them stand on the right side of the
hall.

your majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is
because before i left home my wife told me to keep out of
crowds 一个真正的男子汉

古代有一个国王，他想证明他领土内的男人并非像人们传说的那样，受到老婆的管制。他把王国里所有的男人都召到跟前，警告说，哪
个男人胆敢不说实话，就会受到严 厉的惩罚。

然后，他叫所有听从妻子的命令和意见的男人都走向大厅的左侧。
所有 的男人都站到了左侧，只有一个小个子男人站到了右侧。

国王说：看到我们国家里还有一个 真正的男子汉，真是令人高兴。
告诉这些胆小的笨蛋，为什么在他们当中只有你一个人站在大厅的
右侧。 陛下，那人尖声地回答：因为在我出门之前，我老婆告诉我
不要扎堆 英语小笑话（7）国王和他的故事

once there was a king. he likes to write stories, but his stories
were not good. as people were afraid of him, they all said his
stories were good.

one day the king showed his stories to a famous writer. he
waited the writer to praise these stories. but the writer said his
stories were so bad that he should throw them into fire. the
king got very angry with him and sent him to prison.

【篇二：与圣诞相关的英语单词】


与圣诞相关的英语单词

圣诞：the birthday of jesus christ

圣诞节：christmas day，xm.，xmas

圣诞歌：christmas carol

圣诞卡：christmas card

圣诞老人：santa claus

圣诞树：christmas tree

圣诞快乐：merry christmas

圣诞柴：yule log（圣诞节原木形大蛋糕）

圣诞节的次日：boxing day

圣诞晚会：christmas party

圣诞节日历：menology

圣诞节前夕（12月24日）：christmas eve

圣诞节期：christmastime

圣诞季节：yule，yuletide，yuletime

圣诞节快乐！merry christmas!