指导老师辛普森一家(the Simpsons)第一季第一集对白

2021年1月20日发(作者：转向)
第
1
集

1
Ooh! Careful, Homer!

2
There's no time. We're late.

3
O little town of Bethlehem

4
How still we see the elie

5
- Excuse me. Pardon me.

6
- Sorry. Excuse me.
- Hey, Norman, how's it going?

7
So you got dragged down here
too, huh?

8
- How you doing, Fred?
- Sorry. Excuse me.

9
- Yeah. 'Scuse me. Oh!

10
Pardon my galoshes.
（橡胶鞋）

11
Are met in thee tonight

12
Wasn't that wonderful?

13
And now


14
as presented by the entire
second grade class.

15
Oh! Lisa's class.

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Frohliche Weihnachten.

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That's German for


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In Germany, Santa's servant Ruprecht
gives presents to good children...

19
and whipping rods
to the parents of bad ones.

20
Merry Kurisumasu.

21
I am Hotseiosha, a japanese priest
who acts like Santa Claus.

22
I have eyes
in the back of my head...

23
so children better behave
when I'm nearby.

24
Now presenting Lisa Simpson...

25
as Tawanga, the Santa Claus
of the South Seas.

26
Ooh, it's Lisa! That's ours.

27
Ah, the fourth grade
will now favor us with a melody-

28
Uh, medley
of holiday

29
Dashing through the snow

30
In a one-horse open sleigh

31
O'er the fields we go

32
Laughing all the way
Ha ha ha

33
Bells on bobtail ring

34
- Isn't Bart sweet, Homer?

35
He sings like an angel.

36
Oh, jingle bells
Batman smells

37
Robin laid an egg

38
The Batmobile
broke its wheel

39
The joker got awa-

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Jingle bells
Jingle bells

41
Jingle all

42
The fifth grade will now favour us...

43
with a scene from Charles, uh, Dickens'
A Christmas Carol.

44
How many grades does this school have?

45


46

some gladness this year.

47

Our little cat Snowball...

48

and went to kitty heaven.

49

a new little cat, Snowball I.

50


51

Grandpa's still with us, feisty as ever.

52


53

and Bart-

54


55

has touched us all.

56
Marge, haven't you finished
that stupid letter yet?

57
-
- Marge!

58
- The Simpsons.
- Marge, where's the extension cord?

59
For heaven's sake, Homer.
It's in the utility drawer.

60
Sorry. I'm just a big kid.

61
And I love Christmas
so much.

62
D'oh!

63
All right, children,
let me have those letters.

64
I'll send them to Santa's workshop
at the North Pole.

65
Oh, please. There's only
one fat guy that brings us presents,

66
and his name ain't Santa.

67
Uh- A pony?

68
Oh, Lisa, you've asked for that
for the last three years,

69
and I keep telling you Santa can't
fit a pony into his sleigh.

70
Can't you take a hint?

71
But I really want a pony,

72
- and I've been really good this year.
- Oh, dear.

73
Maybe Bart is
a little more realistic.

74
- A tattoo?
- A what?

75
Yeah! They're cool, and they last
the rest of your life.

76
you will not be getting
a tattoo for Christmas.

77
Yeah. If you want one, you'll have
to pay for it out of your allowance.

78
- All right!
- Homer!

79
-

80
- Marge, please.
- Who's this?

81
May I please speak to Marge?

82
- This is her sister, isn't it?
- Is Marge there?

83
- Who shall I say is calling?
- Marge, please.

84
It's your sister.
Oh!

85
- Hello.
- Hello, Marge. It's Patty.

86
Selma and I couldn't be more excited
about seeing our sister Christmas Eve.

87
Well, Homer and I are looking
forward to your visit too.

88
Somehow I doubt
that Homer is excited.

89
of all the men
you could've married,

90
I don't know why you picked
one who's always so rude to us.

91
- Good one, Dad.

92
Okay, kids,
prepare to be dazzled.

93
Marge, turn on the juice!

94
- What do you think, kids?

95
- Nice try, Dad.

96
Just hold
your horses, son. Hey, Simpson!

97
- What is it, Flanders?
- Do you think this looks okay?

98
Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho.

99
- Oh!
- Oh, neato!

100
It's too bright.

101
I oughta- Flanders.
What a big show-off.

102
- Kids, wanna go Christmas shopping?
- I do!

103
- All right! The mall!
- Go get your money.

104
Tell us, Marge. Where have
you been hiding the Christmas money?

105
Oh, I have my secrets.

106
Turn around.

107
- you can look now.
- Ooh! Big jar this year.

108
Oh, Bart,
that's so sweet.

109
It's the best present
a mother could get,

110
and it makes you look
so dangerous.

111
- One

112
Wait a minute.
How old are you?

113
- Twenty-one, sir.
- Get in the chair.

114
Mm-hmm.

115
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

116
- Mm-hmm. Mm- hmm.

117
Attention,
all personnel, please keep working...

118
during the following
announcement.

119
And now our boss and friend
Mr. Burns.

120
Hello. I'm proud to announce...

121
that we've been able to increase
safety here at the plant...

122
without increasing the cost
to the consumer...

123
or affecting management
payraises.

124
However, for you
semiskilled workers,

125
there will be
no Christmas bonuses.

126
- Oh, and one more thing.

127
Merry Christmas!

128
- Oh, thank God for the big jar.

129
- Where's that Bart?

130
But, Mom,
I thought you'd like it.

131
Yes, Mrs. Simpson, we can remove
your son's tattoo.

132
It's a simple routine
involving lasers.

133
- Cool!
- However, it is rather expensive,

134
and we must insist
on a cash payment up front.

135
- Cash?
- Mm-hmm.

136
Thank God for
Homer's Christmas bonus.

137
- Ay, caramba!
- Now, whatever you do, don't squirm.

138
you don't wanna get this sucker
near your eye or your groin.

139
- Ow! Quit it.

140
Ow! Quit it.

141
Ow! Quit it.

142
- Ow! Quit it.
- Hey, what's with this?

143
Ow! Quit it!
Used to be a real boss tattoo.

144
Mom had to spend the Christmas money
having it surgically removed.

145
Huh?

146
It's true!

147
The jar is empty!
Oh, my God!

148
We're ruined.
Christmas is canceled.

149
No presents for anyone!

150
Don't worry, Homer. We'll just
have to stretch your Christmas bonus...

151
- even further this year.

152
- Homer?
- Oh, yeah. My Christmas bonus.

153
How silly of me.

154
This'll be the best
Christmas yet.

155
The best any family
ever had.

156
Hohoho.

157
Hohoho.

158
Hohoho.

159
Ho ho ho.

160
Hohoho.

161
Hmm. I get the feeling there's
something you haven't told me, Homer.

162
- Huh? Oh. I love you, Marge.
- you tell me that all the time.

163
Oh, good,
because I do love you.

164
I don't deserve you as much
as a guy with a fat wallet...

165
and a credit card that won't
set off that horrible beeping.

166
I think it does have something
to do with your Christmas bonus.

167
I keep asking for it,
but-

168
Marge, um,
let me be honest with you.

169
- Yes?
- Well, I would-

170
I- I wanna do
the Christmas shopping this year.

171
Uh, sure, okay.

172
Marge, Marge. Hmm. Let'see.

173
Ooh, look!

174
Pantyhose.
Practical and alluring.

175
A six-pack.
Oh! Only 4.99.

176
Ooh! Pads of paper.

177
I bet Bart can think of
a million things to do with these.

178
That just leaves
little Maggie. Oh, look!

179
A little squeak toy.

180
It says it's for dogs,
but she can't read.

181
Ow! Oh, Simpson,
it's you.

182
- Hello, Flanders.
- Oh, my! What a mess we've got here.

183
Well, which ones are yours
and which ones are mine?

184
- Well, let's see.
- Oh, this one's mine. This one's mine.

185
- This one's mine, and this-
- They're all yours!

186
- Hey, you dropped your pork chop.

187
- Gimme that!
- Well, happy holidays, Simpson.

188
- Gee, this is the best Christmas ever.
- You bet.

189
What's the matter, Homer? Somebody
leave a lump of coal in your stocking?

190
You've been sitting there,
sucking on a beer all day long.

191
- So?
- So, it's Christmas.

192
- Thanks, Moe.

193
Drinks all around!

194
What's with
the crazy getup, Barn?

195
I got me a part- timejob
working as a Santa down at the mall.

196
Wow! Can I do that?

197
I don't know. They're
pretty selective.

198
Do you like children?

199
What do you mean? All the time?
Even when they're nuts?

200
- Hmm.
- Uh, I certainly do.

201
Welcome aboard, Simpson.

202
Pending your successful completion
of our training program, that is.

203
Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho.

204
- What is it now, Simpson?
- Uh, when do we get paid?

205
Not a dime till Christmas Eve!
Now, from the top.

206
Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho.

207
Um, Dasher.

208
- Dancer.
- Mm-hmm.

209
- Prancer.
- Mm-hmm.

210
Nixon.

211
Comet and... Cupid.

212
- Donna Dixon?
- Sit down, Simpson.

213
And what would you like,
little boy?

214
- You're not really Santa, tubby.
- Why, you little egghead!