白浆Haircut_Ring Lardner

2021年1月20日发(作者：amusements)
Questions:
1.

What do you think of the narrator? Is he reliable?
2.

Analyze the point of view this story is told.
3.

What does this story reveal? The themes?
4.

What
about
the
narrative
tone?
And
how
does
it
effect
the
revealing
of
themes?


Haircut
byRing Lardner (1885-1933)

I
got
another
barber
that
comes
over
from
Carterville
and
helps
me
out
Saturdays, but the rest of the time I can get along all right alone. You can see for
yourself that this ain't no New York: City and besides that, the most of the boys
works
all
day
and
don't
have
no
leisure
to
drop
in
here
and
get
themselves
prettied up.
You're
a
newcomer, ain't
you? I thought I hadn't
seen
you round before. I hope
you like it good enough to stay. As I say, we ain't no New York City or Chicago, but
we
have
pretty
good
times.
Not
as
good,
though,
since
Jim
Kendall
got
killed.
When he was alive, him and Hod Meyers used to keep this town in an uproar. I
bet they was more laughin' done here than any town its size in America.
Jim was comical, and Hod was pretty near a match for him. Since Jim's gone, Hod
tries to hold his end up just the same as ever, but it's tough goin' when you ain't
got nobody to kind of work with.
They used to be plenty fun in here Saturdays. This place is jampacked Saturdays,
from four o'clock on. Jim and Hod would show up right after their supper round
six o'clock. Jim would set himself down in that big chair, nearest the blue spittoon.
Whoever had been settin' in that chair, why they'd get up when Jim come in and
at
You'd of thought it was a reserved seat like they have sometimes in a theatre. Hod
would generally always stand or walk up and down or some Saturdays, of course,
he'd be settin' in this chair part of the time, gettin' a haircut.
Well, Jim would set there a w'ile without opening his mouth only to spit, and then
finally he'd say to me,
right name, that is, my right first
name, is
Dick,
but
everybody
round
here
calls
me
Whitey--Jim
would
say,

your
nose looks like a rosebud tonight. You must of been drinkin' some of your aw de
cologne.
So I'd say,
or somethin' worse.
Jim would have to laugh at that, but then he'd speak up and say,
nothin'
to
drink,
but
that
ain'tsayin'
I
wouldn't
like
somethin'.
I
wouldn't
even
mind if it was wood alcohol.
Then
Hod
Meyers
would
say,

would
your
wife.
That
would
set
everybody to laughin' because Jim and his wife wasn't on very good terms. She'd
of divorced him only they wasn't no chance to get alimony and she didn't have no
way to take care of herself and the kids. She couldn't never understand Jim. He
was kind of rough, but a good fella at heart.
Him and Hod had all kinds of sport with Milt Sheppard.
I don't suppose you've
seen Milt. Well, he's got an Adam's apple that looks more like a mush-melon. So
I'd be shavin' Milt and when I'd start to shave down here on his neck, Hod would
holler,
a
minute! Before
you cut
into it, let's make
up
a
pool
and see who can guess closest to the number of seeds.
And
Jim
would
say,

Milt
hadn't
of
been
so
hoggish,
he'd
of
ordered
a
half
a
cantaloupe instead of a whole one and it might not of stuck in his throat.
All the boys would roar at this and Milt himself would force a smile, though the
joke was on him. Jim certainly was a card!
There's his shavin' mug, setting on the shelf, right next to Charley Vail's.
M. Vail.
And
Jim's
is
the
cup
next
to
Charley's.

H.
Kendall.
Jim
won't
need
no
shavin' mug no more, but I'll leave it there just the same for old time's sake. Jim
certainly was a character!
Years ago, Jim used to travel for a canned goods concern over in Carterville. They
sold canned goods. Jim had the whole northern half of the State and was on the
road
five
days
out
of
every
week.
He'd
drop
in
here
Saturdays
and
tell
his
experiences for that week. It was rich.
I
guess
he
paid
more
attention
to
playin'
jokes
than
makin'
sales.
Finally
the
concern let him out and he come right home here and told everybody he'd been
fired instead of sayin' he'd resigned like most fellas would of.
It was a Saturday and the shop was full and Jim got up out of that chair and says,

I
got
an
important
announcement
to
make.
I
been
fired
from
my
job.
Well, they asked him if he was in earnest and he said he was and nobody could
think of nothin' to say till Jim finally broke the ice himself. He says,
canned goods and now I'm canned goods myself.
You see, the concern he'd been workin' for was a factory that made canned goods.
Over in Carterville. And now Jim said he was canned himself. He was certainly a
card!
Jim had a great trick that he used to play w'ile he was travelin'. For instance, he'd
be ridin' on a train and they'd come to some little town like, well, like, well, like,
we'll say, like Benton. Jim would look out the train window and read the signs of
the stores.
For instance, they'd be a sign,
down the name and the name of the town and when he got to wherever he was
goin' he'd mail back a postal card to Henry Smith at Benton and not sign no name
to
it,
but
he'd
write
on
the
card,
well
somethin'
like

Ask
your
wife
about
that
book agent that spent the afternoon last week,
Ask your Missus who kept her
from gettin' lonesome the last time you was in Carterville.

A Friend.
Of course, he never knew what really come of none of these jokes, but he could
picture what probably happened and that was enough.
Jim didn't work very steady after he lost his position with the Carterville people.
What he did earn, coin' odd jobs round town why he spent pretty near all of it on
gin,
and
his
family
might
of
starved
if
the
stores
hadn't
of
carried
them
along.
Jim's wife tried her hand at dressmakin', but they ain't nobody goin' to get rich
makin' dresses in this town.
As I say, she'd of divorced Jim, only she seen that she couldn't support herself and
the kids and she was always hopin' that some day Jim would cut out his habits
and give her more than two or three dollars a week.
They was a time when she would go to whoever he was workin' for and ask them
to give her his wages, but after she done this once or twice, he beat her to it by
borrowin'
most
of
his
pay
in
advance.
He
told
it
all
round
town,
how
he
had
outfoxed his Missus. He certainly was a caution!
But
he
wasn't
satisfied
with
just
outwittin'
her.
He
was
sore
the
way
she
had
acted, tryin' to grab off his pay. And he made up his mind he'd get even. Well, he
waited till Evans's Circus was advertised to come to town. Then he told his wife
and two kiddies that he was goin' to take them to the circus. The day of the circus,
he told them he would get the tickets and meet them outside the entrance to the
tent.
Well, he didn't have no intentions of bein' there or buyin' tickets or nothin'. He
got
full
of
gin
and
laid
round
Wright's
poolroom
all
day.
His
wife
and
the
kids
waited and waited and of course he didn't show up. His wife didn't have a dime
with her, or nowhere else, I guess. So she finally had to tell the kids it was all off
and they cried like they wasn't nevergoin' to stop.
Well, it seems, w'ile they was cryin', Doc Stair come along and he asked what was
the matter, but Mrs. Kendall was stubborn and wouldn't tell him, but the kids told
him and he insisted on takin' them and their mother in the show. Jim found this
out afterwards and it was one reason why he had it in for Doc Stair.
Doc Stair come here about a year and a half ago. He's a mighty handsome young
fella
and
his
clothes
always
look
like
he
has
them
made
to
order.
He
goes
to
Detroit two or three times a year and w'ile he's there must have a tailor take his
measure and then make him a suit to order. They cost pretty near twice as much,
but they fit a whole lot better than if you just bought them in a store.
For a w'ile everybody was wonderin' why a
young doctor like Doc Stair should
come
to
a
town
like
this
where
we
already
got
old
Doc
Gamble
and
Doc
Foote
that's both been here for years and all the practice in town was always divided
between the two of them.
Then they was a story got round that Doc Stair's gal had thronged him over, a gal
up in the Northern Peninsula somewhere, and the reason he come here was to
hide
himself
away
and
forget
it.
He
said
himself
that
he
thought
they
wasn't
nothin' like general practice in a place like ours to fit a man to be a good all round
doctor. And that's why he'd came.
Anyways, it wasn't long before he was makin' enough to live on, though they tell
me
that
he
never
dunned
nobody
for
what
they
owed
him,
and
the
folks
here
certainly has got the owin' habit, even in my business. If I had all that was comin'
to me for just shaves alone, I could go to Carterville and put up at the Mercer for a
week
and
see
a
different
picture
every
night.
For
instance,
they's
old
George
Purdy--but I guess I shouldn't ought to be gossipin'.
Well, last year, our coroner died, died of the flu. Ken Beatty, that was his name. He
was the coroner. So they had to choose another man to be coroner in his place
and they picked Doc Stair. He laughed at first and said he didn't want it, but they
made
him
take
it.
It
ain't
no
job
that anybody
would
fight
for
and
what
a
man
makes out of it in a year would just about buy seeds for their garden. Doc's the
kind, though, that can't say no to nothin' if you keep at him long enough.
But I was goin' to tell you about a poor boy we got here in town-Paul Dickson. He
fell out of a
tree when he was
about ten years old. Lit on his head and it done
somethin' to him and he ain't never been right. No harm in him, but just silly. Jim
Kendall used to call him cuckoo; that's a name Jim had for anybody that was off
their head, only he called people's head their bean. That was another of his gags,
callin' head bean and callin' crazy people cuckoo. Only poor Paul ain't crazy, but
just silly.
You can imagine that Jim used to have all kinds of fun with Paul. He'd send him to
the White Front Garage for a left-handed monkey wrench. Of course they ain't no
such thing as a left-handed monkey wrench.
And once we had a kind of a fair here and they was a baseball game between the
fats and the leans and before the game started Jim called Paul over and sent him
way down to Schrader's hardware store to get a key for the pitcher's box.
They wasn't nothin' in the way of gags that Jim couldn't think up, when he put his
mind to it.
Poor Paul was always kind of suspicious of people, maybe on account of how Jim
had kept foolin' him. Paul wouldn't have much to do with anybody only his own
mother and Doc Stair and a girl here in town named Julie Gregg. That is, she ain't
a girl no more, but pretty near thirty or over.
When Doc first come to town, Paul seemed to feel like here was a real friend and
he hung round Doc's office most of the w'ile; the only time he wasn't there was
when he'd go home to eat or sleep or when he seen Julie Gregg coin' her shoppin'.