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我是同性恋，孩子该叫我爸爸，还是妈妈？
LB Hannahs
坦诚地分 享了作为一个同性恋个体的育儿经验，以
及她可以教会我们什么是真实性和倡导。真实性并不意味着‘
舒
适
’
。它意味着管理和协商日常生活中的不舒适。
演说题目：孩子该叫我爸爸，还是妈妈？
中
英
文
对
照
翻
译
So
the
other
morning
I
went
to
the
grocerystore and
an
employee
greeted
me with
a
morning,
sir,
canI
help
you
with
anything?
went
our
separate
ways. Igrabbed
Cheerios
and
I
left
the
grocery
store. And I went through thedrive-through of a local coffee shop.
一天早上，
我走进一家杂货店
店员跟我打招呼：
“
早上好，
先生，
有什么可以帮您？
”
我说，
“
不用了，谢谢。
”
他冲我笑了笑，然
后我们就分开了。我 拿了一盒麦片，离开了杂货店。
After
I
placed
my
order,
the
voiceon
the
other
end
said,
you,
ma'am.
Drive
rightaround.
in the span of less
than an
hour, I was understoodboth as a
neitherof
these
people
are
wrong, but
they're
also
not
completely
right.
然后我去了一家本地汽 车穿梭咖啡厅。下单之后，另一头的声
音说，
“
谢谢您，
女士。
请开 到另一边。
”
在不到一个小时内，
我
被人同时认作了
“< br>先生
”
和
“
女士
”
。对我而言，他们都没错，但是也不全对。
This
cute
little
human
is
myalmost-two-year-old
Elliot. Yeah,
alright. And
over
the
past
twoyears, this
kid
has
forced
me
to
rethink
the
world and
how
Iparticipate
in
it. I
identify
as
transgender
and
as
a
parent,
that
makesme
a
transparent. As
you
can see, I took this year's themesuper literal.
这个可爱的小家伙是我的埃利奥特，差不多
2
岁。是的，可爱
吧。在过去的
2
年里，这个小家伙让我重新思考世界和如何生
活。
我 既是跨性别人，也是父亲，所以我是
“
夸父
”
。如您所见，
我这一年
比夸父还累。
Like
any
good
dad
joke
should. Morespecifically,
I
identify
as
genderqueer. And
there
are
lots
of
ways
toexperience
being
genderqueer, but for me that means I don't reallyidentify as a man
or a woman. I feel in between and sometimes outside of this gender
binary.
就像所有幽默的好父亲一样。具体来说，我是一名性别酷儿。
性别酷儿有许多种行为方式，对我而言，它 意味着我不把自己
认作男性或女性。我觉得自己处于两者之间，有时又游离于两
者之外。
And being outside of this gender binary means that sometimes I get
doing
everyday
things like
gettingCheerios. But
this
in
between
lane is where I'm mostcomfortable. This space where I can be both
a sir and a ma'am feelsthe most right and the most authentic. But it
doesn't mean that theseinteractions aren't uncomfortable.
游离在两者 之外意味着我有时被认为是
“
先生
”
，有时被认为是
“
女士
”
哪怕就在我日常生活中，不到一个小时内，比如去买一
盒麦片。但是这种位于两者之 间的状态是我感到最舒服的。这
种既可以是先生又可以是女士的中间地带是感觉最正确也最真
实 的。但这并不意味着所有的互动都令人舒服。
Trust
me,
the
discomfort
can
range
fromminor
annoyance to
feeling
physically
unsafe. Like
the
time
at
a
barin
collegewhen
a
bouncer physically removed me by the back of the neck andthrew
me
out
of
a
woman's
restroom. But
for
me,
authenticity
doesn't
mean
相信我，这种不舒服的程度会从小小的讨厌到感觉到危险。有
一次在大学的一个酒吧 里，一个门卫拎着我的脖子后面把我从
女厕所里扔了出去。对我而言，真实并不意味着
“
舒适
”
。
It
means
managing
and
negotiating
the
discomfortof
everyday
life, even
at
times
when
it's
unsafe. And
it
wasn't
untilmy
experience
as
a
trans
person collided
with
my
new
identity
as
aparent that
I
understood
the
depth
of
my
vulnerabilitiesand
how
they arepreventing me from being my most authentic self.
它意味着管理和解决日常生活中的不舒适，哪怕有时候会 有危
险。直到我的跨性别身份与我的父亲身份发生了碰撞，我才发
现自己是多么脆弱，这种脆弱 会阻止我做最真实的自己。
Now,
for
most
people,
what
their
child
willcall
them is
not
something
that
they
give
much
thought
to outside
ofculturally
specific
wordsor
variations
on
a
gendered
theme
like
对大多数人而言，孩子怎 么称呼自己，是一件不需要思考太多
的事情，无非就是不同文化所用的词汇不同，或者性别不同所
以称呼不同，
“
妈妈
”
、
“
妈咪
”
，或 者
“
爸爸
”
、
“
爹地
”
。
But for me, the possibility is what this child, whowill grow to be a
teenager
and
then
a
real-life
adult, will
call
me
forthe
rest
of
our
lives, was
both
extremely
scary
and
exciting. And
Ispent
nine
months
wrestling
with
the
reality
that
being
called
something like it didn't feel like me at all.
无论我试过多少次，或者多少个
“
妈妈
”
的版本，总感觉是被逼
的，而且极度不舒服。我知道被叫做
“
妈妈
”
或
“
妈咪
”
对大部分
人而言更容易理解。有两个妈妈并不十分新奇， 尤其在我生活
的地方。
And
no
matter
how
many
times
or
versions
of
I
tried, it
alwaysfelt
forced
and
deeply
uncomfortable. I
knew
being
called
ideaof
having
two
moms
is
not
super
novel, especially
where
we
live.
但对我而言，一想到这个孩子从十几岁再到成年，在剩下的岁
月中都会以某种称呼来叫我，这让我既恐惧又兴奋。我花了
9
个月的时间去纠结，被叫做妈妈 或者其它的称呼，一点都不像
我。
So I tried other words. And when Iplayed around with
felt
better. Better,
but
notperfect. It
felt
like
a
pair
of
shoes
that
you
really
liked but
youneeded
to
wear
and
break
in. And
I
knew
the
idea
of
being
a
female- bornperson
being
called
going to be a harder road with alot more uncomfortable moments.
于是我试了试其它的词。我试了试
“
爹地
”
， 感觉好一点。好一
点，但也不完美。就感觉有一双鞋你很喜欢，但是要弄破了才
能穿进去一样。 我知道一个出生时是女性的人被叫做
“
爹地
”
是
一条更难走的路，会 遇到许多不舒服的时刻。
But, before I knew it, the time hadcome and Elliot came screaming
into the world, like most babiesdo, and my new identity as a parent
began. I
decided
on
becoming
adaddy,
and
our
new
family
faced
the world.
但我还没意识到这一点，这个时刻就来临了，
埃利奥特哭喊着
降临到这个世 界，就像大多数婴儿一样，我为人父母的身份开
始了。我决定做一名父亲，与我的新家庭面对这个世界。
Now
one
of
the
most
common
things
thathappens
when
people
meet us is for people to
are several ways the interaction cango, and I've drawn this map to
help illustrate my options.
最常发生的一件事，就是当人们遇到我们他们会认为我是
“
妈< br>妈
”
。这个时候，有几种互动方式，我花了张地图来说明我的选
择。
So,
option
one
is
to
ignore
theassumption and
allow
folks
to
continue
to
refer
to
me
as
is
not
awkward
for
the
other
party,but
is
typicallyreally
awkward
for
us. And
it
usually
causes
me
to
restrict
my
interactionwith
those
people. Option
one. Option
two
is
to
stop
and
correctthem and
say
something
like,
方案一就是无视这种假设，让他 们继续认为我是
“
妈妈
”
，对他
们而言没有问题，但对我们而言就很 尴尬。而且这经常会让我
拒绝跟这些人交流。方案一。方案二就是阻止并纠正他们，告
诉他们，
“
其实，我是埃利奥特的父亲
”
，或者
“
埃利奥特叫我爹< br>地。
”
And
when
I
do
this,
one
or
two
ofthe
following
things
happen. Folks
take
it
in
stride
and
say
somethinglike,
OK.
move
on. Or
they
respond
by
apologizingprofusely because
they
feel
bad
or
awkward
or
guilty
or weird.
但更常见的一种情况是，他们觉得很困惑会抬头 一脸紧张地看
着我，
“
你是不是要去做变性手术？你想变成一个男人？
”或者
说，
“
她怎么能当父亲呢？只有男的可以当父亲啊。
”
But more often, what happens is folks get really confused and look
up
with
anintense
look
and
say
something
like,
this
mean
you
want
totransition? Do
you
want
to
be
a
man?
say
thingslike ,
当我这么说之后，接下来会有一到两种情况。他们会接受我的
说法，说，
“
哦，好吧。
”
然后过去。或者他们会不停地道歉，
因为他们觉得不好、尴尬、内疚或者 奇怪。
Well,
option
one
is
oftentimes
the
easierroute. Option
two
is
always the more authentic one. And all of thesescenarios involve a
level
of
discomfort, even
in
the
best
case. AndI'll
say
that
over
time,
my
ability
to
navigate
this
complicated
map hasgotten
easier. But the discomfort is still there.
好吧，方案一通常是比较容易的选择。方案二是更加真实的情
况。所有这些场景 都会导致不同程度的不舒服。即便在最好的
情况下。随着时间的推移，我在这幅复杂的地图中选择路线的
能力会越来越强。但那种不舒服仍然会在。
Now,
I
won't
stand
here
andpretend like
I've
mastered
this,
it's
pretty far from it. And thereare days when I still allow option one
to
take
place because
option
two
isjust
too
hard
or
too
risky. There's no way to be sure of anyone'sreaction, and I want to
be sure that folks have good intentions, thatpeople are good.
我不会站在这儿，
假装自己已经搞定这件事，
其实还差得远呢。
有时候我还是 会选择方案一，
因为方案二实在太难或者太冒险。
我无法肯定每个人会如何反应，我 想确定人们是心怀好意的，
他们是好人。
But
we
live
in
a
world
where
someone's
opinion
of
myexistence can
be
met
with
serious
threats
to
me or
even
my
family'semotional
or
physical
safety. So
I
weigh
the
costs
against
therisks and
sometimes
the
safety
of
my
family
comes
before
my
ownauthenticity.
但当今世界， 对于像我这种人的存在，一些人的看法对我而言
是严重的威胁，甚至会影响我家人的情绪和人身安全。于 是我
权衡利弊，有时候家人的安全会比我自己的真实感更重要。
But despite this risk, I know as Elliot gets older andgrows into her
consciousness
and
language
skills, if
I
don't
correctpeople,
she
will. I
don't
want
my
fears
and
insecurities
to
be
placed
onher, to
dampen her spirit or make her question her own voice.
但是不管危险与否，我知道，埃利奥特慢慢长大 ，会有自我意
识，会学会说话，如果我不纠正别人，她也会纠正。我不想让
自己的恐惧和不安全 感落到她头上，抑制她的情绪，或者让她
怀疑自己。
I
need
to
model
agency,
authenticity
and
vulnerability, and
that
means
leaninginto
those
uncomfortable
moments
of
being
standingup
and
saying,
I'm
a
dad. And
I
even
have the dad jokes to proveit.
我需要展示这种真实和脆弱，也就是说我不能逃避这种被叫做“
妈妈
”
的时刻，而是要挺身而出，说，
“
不，我是一名父亲。 我
会讲许多爸爸的笑话来证明这一点。
”
Now,
there
have
already
been
plenty
ofuncomfortable
moments and even some painful ones. But there's alsobeen, in just
two short years, validating and at times transformativemoments on
my journey as a dad and my path towards authenticity.
我已经经历过许多不舒服的 时刻了，甚至有些还很痛苦。但是
在短短
2
年时间里，有一些富有成效与变革意义的时 刻，在我
成为一名父亲和通往真实的路上起到了积极的作用。
When
we
got
our
first
sonogram, we
decided
we
wanted
to
know
the
sex
of
thebaby. The
technician
saw
a
vulva
and
slapped
the
words
ourway. We
shared
the
photo
with
our
families
like
everyone
does andsoon
after,
my
mom
showed
up
at
our
house
with
a
bag
filled -- I'm notexaggerating, it was like this high and it was filled,
overflowing withpink clothes and toys.
我们第一次去做超声波检查的时候，我们想知道宝宝的性别。
检查的技师看完，在屏幕上敲出< br>“
是个女孩
”
给我们打印了一张
照片就让我们离开了。像其他人一样， 我们把照片发给家里人
看了，
很快，
我妈妈拎着个大袋子就到了我家，
一点也 不夸张，
那个袋子有这么高，装满了粉色的衣服和玩具。
Now
I
was
a
little
annoyed
to
be
confronted
with
alot
of
pink
things, and
having
studied
gender and
spent
countlesshours
teaching
about
it
in
workshops
and
classrooms, I
thought
I
waspretty well versed on the social construction of gender and how
sexism
isa
devaluing
of
the
feminine and
how
it
manifests
both
explicitly andimplicitly.
看着那一大堆粉色的东西，我其实 有点不爽，研究了那么久性
别花了无数时间在工作室和教室教课，我以为自己已经精通社
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