2021年1月23日发(作者：痛打落水狗)
The First Four Minutes
最初四分钟

When
do
people
decide
whether
or
not
they
want
to
become
friends?
人们什么时候决定他们是否愿意成为朋友？

During their first four minutes together, according to a book by
Dr.
Leonard
Zunin.
In
his
book,
“
Contact
：

The
first
four
minutes

he offers this advice to anyone interested in starting
new friendships
：

“

Every time you meet someone in a social
situation, give him your undivided attention for four minutes.





(1)







A
lot
of
people's
whole
lives
would
change
if
they did just that.
”
按列奥纳多
?
祖尼博士的书中所说是在他
们相处

的最初四分钟。
在他的书
《接触：
最初四分钟》
里，
他向所有对开 始新的友谊感兴趣的人们提出

了这样的建议：
“每次你在社交场合遇到什么人时，全 神贯注地注意他四分
钟。如果这样做

了的话，他们的生活就会完全不同。
”
；

You
may
have
noticed
that
the
average
person
does
not
give his undivided attention to someone he has just met.

你
可能已经注意到了，一般人都不会全神贯注地注意一个他刚
认识的人。






(2)







He keeps looking over the other
person's shoulder, as if hoping to find someone more.
他不停地
往其他

人身后看，好像要在屋里其他地方找到更趣的人似
的。
If anyone has ever done this to you, you probably did not
like him very much.
如果有人对你这样，
你大概不会很喜

欢他。

When
we
are
introduced
to
new
people,
the
author
suggests,
we
should
try
to
appear
fiiendly
and
self- confident.
作者建议，当我们被介绍给新认识的人时，我们应该尽力显
得友好和自信。
In general, he says,
“
People like people who
like themselves1.
”一般讲，他说
:
“人们喜欢那些有自信心
的人。
”

On the other hand, we should not make the other person
think we are too sure of ourselves.
另一方面我们不能让别人
觉得我们太自以为是。
It is important to appear interested and
sympathetic
，
realizing that the other person has his own needs
，

fears, and hopes.
表现出感兴趣、有同情心，能意识到别人有

他们自己的需要、担心和希望是很重要的。

Hearing such advice, one might say,
self-confident
person.
That's
not
my
nature.
It
would
be
dishonest for me to act that way.
”听到这样的建议，有人或
许会说：
“但是我不是一个 友好的、自信的人。那不是我的
天性。我

如果那样做将是不诚实的。
”









(3)







In reply, Dr. Zunin would claim that a
little practice can help us feel comfortable about changing our
social habits. .
作为回答，祖尼博士说只要我们稍加练习就可
以帮助我们改变社交习惯。

We
can
become
accustomed
to
any changes we choose to make in
our personality.
对我们选
择的个

性上的改变我们会慢慢习惯。
“
It is like getting used to
a new car.
“这就像适应一辆新车

It may be unfamiliar at first,
but it goes much better than the old one.
”
一开始会觉得陌生，
但它比旧车好开。
”

But
isn't
it
dishonest
to
give
the
appearance
of
friendly
self-confidence when we don't actually feel that way?
但是当我
们不觉得友好且自信的时候却给人那样的表象，这是诚实吗？Perhaps,
but
according
to
Dr.
Zunin,

honesty
is
not
always
good
for
social
relationships2
’

especially
during
the
first few minutes of contact.
可能是，
但是祖尼博

士认为在社
会关系上“绝 对的诚实”并非总是好的，尤其是在接触的最
初四分钟里。
There
is
a
time
for
everything,
and
a
certain
amount of play-acting may be best for the first few minutes of
contact with a stranger3 .
任何事情都

有时间限制。在和陌生
人接触的头几分钟适当演一点儿戏是最合适不过的了。

That
is not the time to complain
about
one's health
or to mention
faults one finds in other people.
那种时候不适于

抱怨健康状
况或谈论别人的缺点，

It is not the time to tell the whole truth
about one's opinions and impressions.
也不适于全盘托出某人
的观点和印象。









(4)







Much
of
what
has
been
said
about
strangers
also
applies
to4
relationships
with
family
members