英语枪手英语口语13-15

2021年1月26日发(作者：体力)
第十三集

1
- I'm sorry!
- Oh, my God! That's it!

2
You just barge in here
and you don't knock?

3
You have no respect
for my privacy?

4
- Rachel, wait!
- No, you wait!

5
Can I just say one thing?

6
What?! What?

7
That's a relatively open weave
and I can still see your...

8
...nippular area.

9
The One With the Boobies

10
English Subtitles by
GELULA & CO., INC.

11
Honey, honey...

12
...tell them the story about
your patient...

13
...who thinks things are
other things.

14
Like when the phone rings
and she takes a shower...

15
That's pretty much it.

16
But you tell it really well, sweetie.

17
Thanks.

18
Now go away so we can
talk about you.

19
Okay. I'll miss you.

20
Isn't he great?

21
He's so cute. And he
likes you so much.

22
I know. I know.

23
He's so sweet.
And so complicated, you know?

24
And for a shrink,
he's not too shrinky. You know?

25
Think you'll do it on his couch?

26
I don't know. That's a little weird.

27
It's vinyl...

28
You guys want anything else?

29
- Could I have...
- We're all out.

30
Anybody else?

31
Did I miss something?

32
No, she's still upset
because I saw her boobies.

33
What were you doing
seeing her boobies?

34
It was an accident.

35
I wasn't across the street with
a telescope and a box of doughnuts.

36
Can we change the subject, please?

37
Because, hello? These aren't her


38
Pheebs, I was hoping
for more of a change.

39
I don't know why you're embarrassed.
They were very nice boobies.

40


41
They were

42
That's it?
I mean, mittens are

43
Rock, hard place...

44
...me.

45
You're so funny!

46
He's really funny!

47
I wouldn't want to be there when
the laughter stops.

48
Back up there, sparky.

49
What did you mean by that?

50
It seems that maybe
you have intimacy issues...

51
...that you use your humor
to keep people at a distance.

52
I mean, I just met you.
I don't know you from Adam.

53
Only child, right?

54
Parents divorced
before you hit puberty.

55
How did you know?

56
It's textbook.

57
Hey, you guys.

58
You all know my dad, right?

59
- How long are you in the city?
- Two days.

60
I got a job midtown.

61
I'm better off
staying with the kid...

62
...than going back and forth
on the ferry.

63
I don't know this one.

64
This is my friend Roger.

65
- Good to meet you.
- You too.

66
What happened to the puppet guy?

67
Dad!

68
Excuse me.

69
So, Ross, how's the wife?

70
0 for 2, huh?

71
Chandler, quick,
say something funny!

72
Gotta go.

73
I miss you too.

74
I love you,
but it's getting late now...

75
Let me say hi. Hey, Ma!

76
Listen, I made the appointment
with Dr. Bassida and...

77
Excuse me?

78
Did you know this isn't Ma?

79
Her name's Ronni.

80
She's a pet mortician.

81
Sure.

82
So how long have you been...

83
Remember when you were a kid, we'd
go see the big ships in the navy yard?

84
Since then?

85
No, it's only been six years.

86
I wanted to give you
a nice memory...

87
...so you'd know I wasn't always
such a terrible guy.

88
Joe, have you ever been in love?

89
I don't know.

90
Then you haven't.

91
You're burning your tomatoes.

92
You're one to talk.

93
Your dad's in love, bigtime.

94
And the worst part is,
it's with two different women.

95
Oh, man! Please tell me
one of them is Ma.

96
Of course one of them's Ma.
What's the matter with you?

97
It's like if you woke up one day
and found out...

98
...your dad was
leading this double life.

99
He's like actually some spy
working for the CIA.

100
That'd be cool!

101
This blows!

102
I know. Why can't parents
just stay parents?

103
Why do they
have to become people?

104
Why do they have...

105
Why...

106
...can't you stop staring
at my breasts?

107
What?

108
What?

109
Didn't you get a good enough
look the other day?

110
We're all adults here.

111
There's only one way
to resolve this.

112
Since you saw her boobies...

113
...you're gonna have to show her
your pee-pee.

114
You know,
I don't see that happening.

115
Come on. He's right.
Tit for tat.

116
Well I'm not showing you my tat!

117
- It's Phoebe.
- And Rog!

118
Come on up.

119
Oh, good! Rog is here!

120
- What's the matter with Rog?
- Nothing. It's a little thing.

121
I hate that guy!

122
What? So he was a little analytical.
That's what he does.

123
Come on, he's not that bad.

124
That's where you're wrong!
Why would I marry her...

125
...if I thought on any level
that she was a lesbian?

126
I don't know.

127
Maybe you wanted
your marriage to fail.

128
Why? Why would I?
Why?

129
I don't know.
Maybe low self-esteem?

130
Maybe to compensate
for overshadowing a sibling.

131
Wait!
Go back to that

132
Well, I don't know.

133
It's conceivable that
you sabotaged your marriage...

134
...so the sibling would be less
of a failure in the parents' eyes.

135
That's ridiculous!
I don't feel guilty for her failures.

136
- So you think I'm a failure?
- Isn't he good?

137
That's not what I was saying.

138
I thought you were on my side...

139
...but maybe you were
sucking up to Mom and Dad...

140
...so they'd favor you.

141
I married a lesbian
to make you look good!

142
You're right.

143
I mean, you're right!

144
It wasn't just the Weebles,
but it was the Weeble Play Palace...

145
...and the Weeble's Cruise Ship...

146
...which had this little lifeboat
for the Weebles to wobble in.

147
That's tough, tough stuff.

148
Pheebs, if we're gonna
catch that movie, we gotta go.

149
Feel better, okay?

150
We're gonna be late, sweetie.

151
Thanks for everything, Mon.

152
No problem.

153
It was great seeing you again.

154
Mon, easy on those cookies, okay?

155
Remember, they're just food...

156
...they're not love.

157
I hate that guy!

158
Good night, you guys.

159
Oh, look!
It's the woman we ordered.

160
Can we help you?

161
No, thanks. I'm just waiting
for Joey Tribbiani.

162
I'm Joey Tribbiani.

163
Oh, no, not you. Big Joey.

164
Oh, my God!

165
You're so much cuter than
your pictures.

166
I'm Ronni.

167
Cheese nip?

168
Joey's having an embolism...

169
...but I'd go for a nip.

170
Most people,
when their pets pass on...

171
...want them laid out
like they're sleeping.

172
Occasionally you get a person
who wants them in a pose.

173
Like chasing their tail.

174
Or jumping to catch a Frisbee.

175
Joey, if I go first, I want to be
looking for my keys.

176
That's a good one!

177
Hey, Dad. Ronni's here.

178
Hello, babe!

179
What are you doing here?

180
You left your hair
at my place.

181
I thought you'd need it
for your meeting.

182
Thank you.

183
So! Who's up for a big
game of Kerplunk?

184
Look, I...

185
I shouldn't have come.

186
I gotta go.
I'll miss the last train.

187
I don't want you taking
that thing this late.

188
Where am I gonna stay?
Here?

189
We'll go to a hotel.

190
We'll go to a hotel.

191
- No, you won't.
- No, we won't.

192
If you go to a hotel,
you'll be doing stuff.

193
I want you right here,
where I can keep an eye on you.

194
You're gonna keep an eye on us?

195
Right, mister!

196
I don't care how old you are,
while you're here...

197
...you're gonna live by my rules.

198
And that means no sleeping
with your girlfriend.

199
Wow, he's strict.

200
Dad, you'll be in my room.

201
Ronni, you can stay in
Chandler's room.

202
Thanks.
You're a good kid.

203
Come on.
I'll show you to my room.

204
That sounds weird when it's not
followed by,

205
This is just for tonight.
Starting tomorrow, you gotta change.

206
- Six years is long enough!
- What kind of change?

207
- Break up with Ronni...
- I can't!

208
Then come clean with Ma!
This is not right!

209
I don't wanna hear it!
Now go to my room!

210
Hey, kickie!

211
What are you doing?

212
Trying to get comfortable.

213
- I can't sleep in my underwear.
- Well, you're gonna.

214
I've been thinking...

215
...about how I'm always
seeing girls on top of girls...

216
Are they end-to-end,
or tall, like pancakes?

217
You know what I mean.
How I date all these women.

218
I always figured, when
the right one comes along...

219
...I'll be able to be a standup guy
and go the distance.

220
Now I'm looking at my Dad thinking...

221
You're not him, you're you.

222
When they wanted you to go into
your father's business, did you cave?

223
You chose
the out-of-work-actor business.

224
That wasn't easy, but you did it.

225
And I believe that
when the right woman comes along...

226
...you'll have the guts to say:

227


228
You really think so?

229
I really do.

230
- Thanks, Chandler.
- Get off!

231
May I help you?

232
Joey said I could use your shower
since Chandler's in ours.

233
Who are you?

234
Oh, I'm Ronni. Ronni Rapalono.

235
The mistress?

236
- Come on in.
- Thanks.

237
I'm Rachel.
Bathroom's up there.

238
Say, Ronni...

239
How long has Chandler been
in the shower?

240
Like five minutes.

241
Perfect.

242
Fasten your seat belts...

243
...it's pee-pee time!

244
Hey, Mr. Trib.

245
Good morning, dear.

246
Chandler Bing,
it's time to see your thing.

247
- What's with you?
- I thought it was Chandler!

248
You were supposed to be in there
so I could see your thing!

249
Sorry, my thing
was in there with me.

250
How's it going?

251
Good.

252
Roger's having a dinner thing
and he wanted me to invite you guys.

253
What's going on?

254
Nothing.

255
It's just that...

256
It's Roger.

257
There's something about...

258
Basically, we just feel
that he's...

259
We hate that guy!

260
We hate him!

261
We're sorry, Pheebs.

262
Don't you think maybe it's just that
he's so perceptive...

263
...that it freaked you out?

264
- No, I hate him!
- No, we hate him!

265
I'm sorry.

266
Ma! What are you doing here?

267
I came to give you this...

268
...and this!

269
Big ring!

270
Why did you fill your father's head
with that garbage...

271
...about making things right?

272
Things were fine the way they were!

273
There's chicken in there.
Put it away.

274
For God's sake, Joey!
Really.

275
Hold on. You knew?

276
Of course I knew.
What do you think?

277
Your father is no James Bond.

278
You should have heard
his cover stories.

279

my accountant's.

280
I mean, what is that?
Please!

281
So then, how could you...?

282
Do you remember
how your father used to be?

283
Always yelling.
Nothing made him happy.

284
Not that wood shop, not those
stupid little ships in the bottle.

285
Now he's happy.

286
I mean, it's nice.
He has a hobby.

287
Ma, I don't mean
to be disrespectful, but...

288
...what the hell
are you saying?

289
- I mean, what about you?
- Me? I'm fine.

290
Look, honey...

291
...in an ideal world...

292
...there'd be no her and your father
would look like Sting.

293
And I'll tell you something else:

294
Ever since that
poodle-stuffer came along...

295
...he's been so ashamed of himself
that he's been more attentive.

296
He's been more loving.

297
It's like every day is
our anniversary.

298
I'm happy for you...?

299
Well, don't be!

300
Because now everything's screwed up.

301
I just want it the way it was.

302
Ma, I'm sorry.

303
I just did what
I thought you'd want.

304
I know you did, cookie.
I know you did.

305
So tell me...

306
Did you see her?

307
You're ten times prettier
than she is.

308
That's sweet.

309
Could I take her?

310
With this ring, no contest!

311
- What's wrong, sweetie?
- Nothing...

312
What's wrong? Come on.

313
It's nothing. I'm fine.

314
It's just...
It's my friends.

315
They have a liking problem with you...

316
...in that...

317
...they don't.

318
They don't?

319
But you know...

320
...they don't see all
of the wonderfulness that I see.

321
They don't see all the good stuff
and all the sweet stuff.

322
They think you're a little...

323
What?

324
Intense and creepy.

325
But I don't. Me, Phoebe.

326
I'm not at all surprised
they feel that way.

327
You're not?
That's why you're so great.

328
Actually, it's
quite typical behavior...

329
...when you have this kind
of dysfunctional group dynamic.

330
You know, this kind of codependent...

331
...emotionally stunted...

332
...sitting in your stupid coffeehouse,
with your stupid big cups...

333
...which, I'm sorry, might as well
have nipples on them.

334
And you're all like,


335


336
So you talked to your dad?

337
He's gonna keep cheating on Ma,
like she wanted.

338
Ma's gonna keep pretending
she doesn't know.

339
And my sister Tina
can't see her husband anymore...

340
...because he got
a restraining order.

341
Which has nothing to do with it,
except that I found out today.

342
Things have changed here
on Walton's mountain.

343
So Joey, are you okay?

344
Yeah, I guess.

345
It's just...
You know, they're parents.

346
After a certain point,
you gotta let go.

347
Even if you know better...

348
...you gotta let them make
their own mistakes.

349
And just think...

350
...in a few years,
we'll turn into them.

351
Oh, please!

352
If I turn into my parents,
I'll either be an alcoholic blond...

353
...chasing after 20-year-old boys...

354
...or I'll end up like my mom!

355
How's it going?

356
Okay, except I broke up with Roger.

357
Yeah, right!

358
What happened?

359
I don't know. I mean...

360
He's a good person...

361
...and he can be really sweet.

362
And in some ways,
I think he is so right for me.

363
It's just...

364
I hate that guy!

365
What's going on?

366
Clear the tracks for the boobie
payback express.

367
Next stop, Rachel Greene.

368
Joey, what the hell were you doing?

369
Sorry, wrong boobies!

370
Hello, Joey!

371
Hello, dear!
第十四集

1
I'm telling you, she wants you.

2
She barely knows me.
We just live in the same building.

3
Any contact?

4
She lent me an egg once.

5
You're in!

6
Oh, right.

7
Come on. You gotta get back
in the game here.

8
The Rachel thing's not happening,
your ex-wife's a lesbian, you...

9
I don't think we need a third.

10
Excuse me. Could we get an egg
still in the shell?

11
An egg?

12
Go up to her and say,
egg back. I'm returning your egg.

13
I think it's winning!

14
I think it's insane.

15
She'll love it!

16
- Thank you.
- Thank you. Here.

17
Go with the egg, my friend.

18
Go, go, go!

19
- Think it'll work?
- It's suicide. The man's got an egg.

20
The One With the Candy Hearts

21
English Subtitles by
GELULA & CO., INC.

22
- You cannot do this.
- What? Do what?

23
Roger wants to take her out.

24
No! Pheebs! Don't you remember
why you dumped the guy?

25
Because he was creepy.

26
And mean. And a little frightening.

27
Still, it's nice to have
a date on V
alentine's Day!

28
You can go out with a creep
any night of the year.

29
I know I do.

30
What are you doing tomorrow night?

31
Actually, tomorrow night
depends on how tonight goes.

32
- Listen, about tonight...
- Don't you dare bail on me!

33
She's only going out with me because
I'm bringing a friend for her friend.

34
But her friend sounds like such a...

35
Pathetic mess. I know, but...

36
Come on, man, she's needy,
she's vulnerable.

37
I'm thinking...

38
Thanks.

39
You haven't been out with a woman
since Janice. You're doing this.

40
She said yes.

41
Way to go, man!

42
Still got the egg, huh?

43
How do I look?

44
I don't care.

45
There's Lorraine.

46
Now, remember, no trading.

47
You get the pretty one.
I get the mess.

48
Well, well!

49
Look what you brought!

50
Very nice.

51
And what did you bring?

52
She's checking her coat.

53
I'm gonna go wash the cab smell
off of my hands.

54
Will you get me a white zinfandel
and a glass of red for Janice?

55
Janice?

56
Oh...

57
...my...

58
...God!

59
Hey, it's Janice!

60
I'm making a break for it!
I'm going out the window!

61
No, don't, please! I've been waiting
for forever to go out with Lorraine!

62
- Just calm down.
- Calm down? Calm down?

63
You set me up with a woman I've dumped
twice in the last five months!

64
Can you stop yelling?
You're making me nervous...

65
...and I can't go when I'm nervous.

66
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're right.

67
Come on! Do it, do it, do it!
Come on!

68
Okay, Roger was creepy, but he was
nothing compared to Pete Carney.

69
- Which one was he?
- Pete the Weeper?

70
Remember the guy that used to cry
every time we had sex?

71


72
Well, I'd take a little crying
any day over Howard, the

73


74
I went out with him for
two months. I didn't get to win once!

75
How do we end up with these jerks?
We're good people.

76
I don't know. I think we're like
some kind of magnets.

77
I know I am. That's why I can't
wear a digital watch.

78
There's more beer, right?

79
Oh! You know my friend Abby
who shaves her head?

80
She says to break the
bad-boyfriend cycle...

81
...you can do a cleansing ritual.

82
Pheebs, this woman
is voluntarily bald.

83
So we can do it
tomorrow night, you guys.

84
It's Valentine's Day.
It's perfect.

85
Okay, well, what kind of ritual?

86
Okay, we can burn the stuff
they gave us.

87
Or...?

88
Or we can chant and dance
around naked, you know, with sticks.

89
Burning's good.

90
I've got stuff to burn.

91
You know...

92
...ever since I was little, I've been
able to pick up quarters with my toes.

93
Yeah?

94
Good for you.

95
Quarters or rolls of quarters?

96
By the way, Chandler,
I cut you out of all of my pictures.

97
So if you want, I have a bag
with just your heads.

98
That's okay.

99
Are you sure? Because you
could make little puppets out of them.

100
And you could use them in your
Theater of Cruelty!

101
We can't do that!

102
What? What can't you do?

103
Can I talk to you for a second?
Over there?

104
We might be leaving now.

105
Say it's you and me

106
She said she wants to slather my body
with stuff and then lick it off.

107
I'm not even sure what slathering is!

108
But I definitely want to be
a part of it!

109
Okay, you cannot do this to me.

110
You're right. I'm sorry.
You're right.

111
Can we have three chocolate mousses
to go, please?

112
I'm out of here.

113
Here's my credit card.
Dinner's on me. I'm sorry.

114
I hope she throws up on you.

115
Thanks.

116
So...

117
Just us.

118
What a crappy night!

119
Though I've enjoyed the fact that
your shirt's been sticking out...

120
...of your zipper since you
came back from the bathroom.

121
Excuse me.

122
How you doing?

123
So do we have the best friends,
or what?

124
Joey's not a friend. He's...

125
...a stupid man who left us
his credit card.

126
Another drink? Some dessert?
A big-screen TV?

127
I will go for that drink.

128
You got it. Good woman!

129
A bottle of your
most overpriced champagne.

130
Each.

131
That's right. Each.

132
And a rob roy.

133
I've always wanted to know.

134
Happy Valentine's Day!

135
Oh, I miss you already.

136
Can you believe this happened?

137
No, no!

138
And yet it did.

139
- Goodbye, Janice.
- Kiss me!

140
Oh, Chandler. Sorry.

141
Oh, Chandler. Sorry!

142