各种英语冷笑话大全

英语冷笑话大全

Improvement

One student to another:

I

used

to be

one

who couldn't

understand

the

English

men,

and

now it's the English men who can't understand me.

进步

一位学生对另一位说：

“

你的

英语

最近学的怎么样

?”

“

很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。

”

Half or Five Tenths?

Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?

Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.

Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.

Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange

into

five tenths.

半个还是十分之五

老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘

?

杰拉得：我宁可要半个。

老师：仔细想想，说出理由来。

杰拉 得：因为你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。

To Go to Heaven

Sunday School teacher:

Hands up all those who want to go to Heaven?

Hands

up .....

what

about

you, Terry?

Y

ou

haven't

got

your

hand

up

--

don't you want to go to Heaven?

Terry: I can't. My Mum told me to go straight home.

去天堂

主日学校的教员：想去天堂的人举起手来，

把手举起来。

。

。你呢，哈

里

?

你还没举手呢

--

你不想去天堂吗

?

哈里：

我去不了，因为妈妈让我一放学就回家。

How Many Rabbits?

Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day

I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have?

Jonathan: Nine, sir.

Teacher: Nine?

Jonathan: I've got one already, sir.

多少只兔子

?

老师：好，乔纳森，假 如我给你三只兔子，第二天我又给你五只，你

一共有多少只兔子

?

乔纳森：一共有九只，先生。

老师：九只

?

乔纳森：先生，我本来就有一只。

Essay

Teacher

had

set

his

class

an

essay

in

Game

of

Cricket

After

two

minutes Simon Steel handed his paper in and was allowed to go home.

His essay read:

作文

老师给学生出了个 作文题：

“

一场板球赛

”

。两分钟后，西蒙。斯蒂尔

交了作文，

老师允许他回 家了。

他在作文上写道：

“

下雨，

比赛终止。

”

Who Discovered Australia?

Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.

Johnny: It's there, sir.

Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia?

Sammy: Johnny, sir.

谁发现了澳大利亚

?

老师：约翰尼，在地图上给我找出澳大利亚在什么地方。

约翰尼：先生，在这儿。

老师：对了。萨默，你来回答我是谁发现了澳大利亚

?

萨默：先生，是约翰尼。

Lightning

Teacher: Why is it said that lightning never strikes the same place twice?

Roy: Because after it's struck once the same place isn't there any more!