-
CD
1
Norman! Come here. Come here.
2
Norman!
3
Hurry up! The
loons.
4
The
loons. They're welcoming us back.
5
I don't hear a thing.
6
Just look at
this place.
7
It's a mess, isn't it?.
8
Just take a second. It'll
be all shipshape again.
9
And warmer.
10
Huh.
11
The phone works! At least I think it
does.
12
Hello?.
13
Hello! Hello!
14
Who the hell
is that?.
15
Who
the hell's in this picture here?.
16
Who the hell is this?.
17
Hello! Who's
this?.
18
The
operator?. What do you want?.
19
Well, you called. Must
want something.
20
Oh, wait a minute. I did call you, but
you never answered.
21
Well, how are you?. Well, how nice.
22
Listen, this
is Norman Thayer,Jr., over on Golden Pond.
23
I have
something I want you to do. Call me up. Can you do
that?.
24
Yeah,
I want to check my phone, see if it still rings.
25
Haven't rung
all winter. It may have lost its
26
You got my number?.
27
I have no
idea. It's got a nine in it, is all I know.
28
It's in the
book. You must have a book.
29
Norman Thayer,Jr. Let's
give her a try, shall we?.
30
Who the hell is that?.
31
- Someone's
at the door. - It's me, you old poop!
32
Well, look at you.
33
Yeah, look at
me?. Quite a sight, aren't I?.
34
Oh, Norman! It's so
beautiful. Everything's just waking up.
35
Little, tiny
birds. Little, tiny leaves.
36
I saw a patch of little,
tiny flowers over by the old cellar hole.
37
I forget what
they're called. Little, tiny, yellow things.
38
Well, want to
help me with the dust covers?.
39
- I don't have anything
else to do. - Come on.
40
What were you doing out in the woods?.
41
Norman, what
do you think I was doing?. I was getting wood.
42
Hey, I met
the nicest couple.
43
- Yeah?. Where?. - In the woods.
44
- Couple of
people?. - No, a couple of antelope.
45
Of course a couple of
people.
46
Their
name is Migliori, I believe.
47
Migliori?. What sort of a
name is that?.
48
I don't know, darling. Italian, I
suppose. They're up from Boston.
49
- They speak English?. -
Well, of course they speak English.
50
They're a nice middle-
aged couple, just like us.
51
If they're just like us,
they're not middle-aged.
52
- Of course they are. - Middle-aged
means the middle, Ethel.
53
Middle oflife. People don't live to be
150!
54
Well,
we're at the far edge of middle age. That's all.
55
We're not,
you know. We're not middle-aged. You're old, and
I'm ancient.
56
Oh, pooh!
57
- You're in your 70s, and I'm in my
60s. - Just barely on both counts.
58
Would you like to spend
the rest of the afternoon quibbling about this?.
59
- We can, If
you like. - Oh, for the Lord's sake.
60
The Miglioris, whatever
their age group, have invited us to have dinner
sometime.
61
Wouldn't that be nice?.
62
I don't know. I'm not
sure my stomach's ready for rigatoni, that sort of
thing.
63
Oh,
no! Poor Elmer! He's had a terrible fall.
64
Poor little
Elmer. The life you've led.
65
He was my first true
love, you know.
66
Known all along I wasn't the first in
line.
67
No, you
were a rather cheap substitute for Elmer.
68
- And now
he's had a fall. - Maybe he wanted to kill
himself.
69
Maybe he wanted to be cremated.
Probably got cancer or termites or something.
70
- Shut up,
Norman! - Not a bad way to go, huh?.
71
Quick front flip off the
mantle, end up in the fire. Nothing to it.
72
- Norman,
will you shut up?. - When my number's up, do that
for me.
73
Prop
me up on the mantle, point out which way is down.
74
Might even
try for a full gainer with a half twist.
75
Norman
Thayer,Jr., your fascination with dying is
beginning to frazzle my good humor.
76
Not fascination. Just
crosses my mind now and then.
77
Every five minutes. Don't
you have anything else to think about?.
78
Nothing quite
as interesting.
79
Well, what's stopping you?. Why don't
you take your dive and get it over with?.
80
And leave you
alone with Elmer?. You must be mad!
81
Oh, for pity's sake.
82
Come on and
help me get the canoe off the porch.
83
- Norman, are you
paddling?. - Of course I'm paddling.
84
Then you're not steering.
You want me to take the stern?.
85
I most certainly do not.
86
- Norman! -
God, what is it?.
87
Look! Look! Oh, look, I've spotted the
loons!
88
Oh!
Oh, they're so lovely.
89
Here. Here.
90
Look.
91
- Can you see them?. - No.
92
- Oh. - Oh! Oh, my
goodness. There they are.
93
- Oh, they're so
beautiful. - Yeah, they're huge.
94
I never saw such big
loons in my life.
95
Those are boats, you poop. Come in
closer.
96
A
husband and wife.
97
I think they're looking at us.
98
Yeah, they
are.
99
What the
hell's the matter with them?.
100
Hey, buzz off!.
101
- Buzz off!.
- Ethel, what are you doing?.
102
- What do you mean?. -
Don't do that.
103
- Why not?. You did it. - Never mind.
I'll explain later.
104
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten,
eleven.
105
How
about that?. Right on your man.
106
- Where were you?. -
Where was I?.
107
- Oh, come off it. Don't give me that.
- Five-
108
Six,
seven, eight, nine, ten-
109
- Damn! - Eleven. Yes.
110
Good night,
sweet prince. Five, 10, 15 and 20.
111
Well, Mother!
112
You want to
stay here and watch the boat while I run into the
store?.
113
I
think I'm qualified to watch the boat.
114
- Come with me, If you
want to. - No, Thank you very much.
115
- Okay. Hello, Sumner. -
Good morning, Mrs. Thayer.
116
- Will you fill her up,
please?. Norman will help you. - Sure.
117
That'll be $$38, please,
Mr. Thayer.
118
Good God. You know how much gasoline
cost when I was your age?.
119
Twelve cents a gallon.
120
Is that a
fact?. I didn't even know they had gas back then.
121
What are
you, a couple of nitwits?.
122
Think it's funny being
old?.
123
Mywhole goddamn body's falling apart!
124
Sometimes I
can't even go to the bathroom when I want to...
125
but I'm
still a man and can take on you punks.
126
Norman! Here we go.
127
Thanks,
boys.
128
I'll
drive home.
129
- are you sure?. - Yeah.
130
if I make the wrong turn
and wind up in Michigan, be sure you let me know.
131
- Someone's
at the door. - It's me, you old poop!
132
- Where have you been?.
- Picking strawberries.
133
There were oodles and oodles of little
strawberries along the old town road.
134
How nice.
135
what you are doing in
here on a morning like this is beyond me!
136
I've been
quite busy looking through yesterday's paper for
gainful employment.
137
- Here we go again. - Very good
prospects, I think.
138
Chauffeurs, yourd work.
139
Dairy Divine wants an
ice-cream dipper.
140
I think I could do something like that,
Don't you?.
141
What are you gonna do If you call and
they say,
142
-
Go on over and start tomorrow. - Oh, for the love
of God!
143
What
on earth's the matter with you?.
144
Give me that stuff.
145
Take these
buckets and pick us another quart of strawberries.
146
And I'll fix
us up a scrumptious strawberry shortcake for
lunch. Go on.
147
You want me to pick strawberries?.
148
Yep. Do I
have to put an ad in the paper?.
149
- I'm not sure I know
how. - It's really very simple. You bend over and
pick 'em.
150
-
Bend over?. Where are they?. - On the ground,
where they belong.
151
Last time we picked blueberries they
were on a bush. Didn't have to bend over at all.
152
These are
strawberries, and they grow on the ground.
153
Here comes
what's-his-name.
154
He'll have the paper.
155
I don't want to miss any
career opportunities off looking for strawberries.
156
I'll pay
you. It may be the beginning of something big.
157
You may
become a major strawberry picker.
158
Not ifI'm bending over
all the time. I think you're trying to kill me.
159
I thought
about it.
160
You needn't bother. I'm living on
borrowed time as it is.
161
Will you take your cheery personality
and get out of here?.
162
I hope you're prepared to massage my
bent back this evening.
163
With pleasure.
164
Well, maybe I can lie
down to pick the berries.
165
Morning, Ethel!
166
Hi, Charlie.
Come on up and have some coffee. You can take five
minutes.
167
You
got a letter from Chelsea!
168
- The rest is just bills
and junk like that. - Go on in.
169
Gee!
170
Oh! Uh-oh. I think I
broke your door.
171
No, no. It's been that way for months
now.
172
Norman's supposed to fix it, but I'm
afraid it's not high on his list of priorities.
173
- Oh, God. -
Hi, Norman.
174
Norman, are you back already?. You
barely left.
175
So?. I move fast. Ran all the way,
picked that stuff, ran back.
176
- Let me see what you've
got. - I'll just dump 'em with yours.
177
Nope.
178
Not a single berry.
What's the matter with you?.
179
Must have eaten them
all.
180
No mail
today, Charlie?.
181
Holy MacKanolly, I left it on the
porch.
182
- How
about bringing it in?. Can you do that?. - You
bet.
183
- Glass
of milk, Norman?. - No.
184
See you broke the screen door, Charlie.
185
It's just
missing its little
186
- I could bring you a couple from town
tomorrow. - Just be careful next time.
187
- Here it is, Norman.
Drink it. - Thank you, nurse.
188
Finish your coffee over
here.
189
There
you go.
190
There.
191
- what you got there, Norman?. - I have
no idea. I can't open it.
192
Here. Bite this, please.
193
- Oh,just
his medicine. - Oh, goody. What a swell surprise.
194
Nothing
serious. Just for his palpitations.
195
That's right, Charlie. I
have occasional heartthrobs.
196
Norman, we got a letter
from Chelsea.
197
Look at the goddamn Orioles!
198
Baltimore's
always been a sneaky town.
199
Norman, she's coming for
your birthday.
200
Oh. How nice.
201
Yep. And she's bringing
a friend.
202
She has the nicest boyfriend.
203
- Oh?. -
They're coming together.
204
Then they're going on to
Europe for a while.
205
Oh, really?. I don't want crowds of
people coming to my birthday.
206
I don't want crowds of
people watching me turn older.
207
Wait a minute. It's not
that Freddy person.
208
This is a different boyfriend
altogether.
209
What the hell's going on?.
210
Detroit's disappeared!
Good God!
211
-
What is it?. - Detroit's gone!
212
What happened to her
husband?.
213
What is it, Charlie?.
214
I was wondering what
happened to Chelsea's husband.
215
It didn't work out.
216
Hey.
217
She says
she's in love with a dentist.
218
Does her boyfriend know
about this?.
219
This is her new boyfriend. Her new
boyfriend is a dentist.
220
- That's who she's bringing here?. A
dentist?. - Yep.
221
Good God! He'll be staring at our teeth
all the time.
222
Shall we ask him not to come?.
223
No, we
should have representatives from all walks
oflife...
224
at
my last birthday party.
225
Oh, Lord, this medicine should be put
away from all this hot air.
226
Why didn't you marry
Chelsea?.
227
-
You wouldn't let me. - Oh?.
228
If you had married
somebody else, I'd have allowed that.
229
- I didn't want anyone
else. - Oh.
230
- How old will you be?. - When?.
231
- On your
birthday. - A hundred and three.
232
- Miss Appleywas 97 in
May. Isn't that amazing?. - Yeah.
233
- She died, you know. -
No.
234
Yep,
last Tuesday.
235
We got a call, in case any mail comes
up.
236
Gaveyou
a forwarding address for Miss Appley?.
237
What's so funny?.
238
- One of the
lesbians expired. - Oh! No.
239
- Which one, Charlie?. -
Miss Appley.
240
Oh, well, she had a good, full life.
241
Charlie said
she was 97.
242
Ninety-seven?. Isn't that wonderful?.
243
Puts us all
to shame, doesn't it?.
244
There's something to be said for a
deviant lifestyle.
245
Well, thanks for the coffee, Ethel.
246
You still
make the best biscuits on the lake.
247
Thank you, Charlie. You
must come around when Chelsea comes.
248
- I haven't seen her in
a long time. - No.
249
- Well- - Norman, Charlie's leaving.
250
- Good. Bye.
- Good-bye.
251
Watch out for that screen door.
252
Norman! The
loons are teaching their baby to fly.
253
- Isn't that exciting?.
- Listen to this.
254
255
I
should call. I can walk.
256
Is that whyyou came
rushing back here?. To read those goddamned ads?.
257
You want to
know why I came back so fast?.
258
I got to the end of our
lane...
259
I
couldn't remember where the old town road was.
260
I wandered a
way in the woods.
261
There was nothing familiar. Not one
damn tree.
262
Scared me half to death.
263
That's why I came
running back here to you-
264
to See your pretty face.
265
I could feel
safe. I was still me.
266
You're safe, you old poop.
267
And you're definitely
still you...
268
picking on poor old Charlie.
269
After lunch-
270
Afterwe've
gobbled up all those silly strawberries...
271
we'll take
ourselves to the old town road.
272
We've been there a
thousand times, darling.
273
A thousand. And you'll
remember it all.
274
Listen to me, mister.
275
You're my knight in
shining armor.
276
Don't you forget it.
277
You're gonna get back on
that horse...
278
and I'm gonna be right behind you,
holding on tight...
279
and away we're gonna go, go, go!
280
I don't like
horses.
281
-
You are a pretty old dame, aren't you?. - Oh!
282
What are you
doing with a dotty old son of a bitch like me?.
283
Well, I
haven't the vaguest idea.
284
I don't think you should
do that in front of Chelsea's companion.
285
Oh, pooh. I
was just talking to my friends.
286
Hey, look at you. My,
oh, my, you have on a tie.
287
Yes, I know. I put it
there.
288
Do I
look all right?. I haven't overdressed, have I?.
289
You look
sexy. I'm gonna have to do some pretty fast
maneuvers to catch up with you.
290
I have some other ties.
You could come as Miss Appley.
291
Oh. Thank you.
292
293
I see my birthday
partywasn't cause enough for celebration.
294
I just
wanted our little girl to feel welcome, that's
all.
295
Norman,
wouldn't it be nice if we could all get along this
time?.
296
Where
the hell are they?. I'm getting older by the
minute.
297
They
said they'd be here when they get here.
298
- Is that
what they said?. - Yep.
299
That's a hell of an attitude. No wonder
we don't have any grandchildren.
300
- What would we do with
grandchildren?. - Toss 'em on our knee.
301
We're the
last of the Thayers, you know.
302
End of the line for a
damn good name.
303
Yep, and we're gonna take it out in
style.
304
Oh,
my God.
305
They're here, and I'm not even dressed.
306
- I look
like an old character. - You are an old character.
307
Go on
upstairs and change, if it'll make you feel better
308
- Be nice to
them! - Sure.
309
I'll explain the risks involved in
being late to an old man's birthday party.
310
Anybody
home?.
311
Too
late. Move that flowervase over to the other side
of the table.
312
- Why?. - Just do it! For once,just do
it!
313
- Hey!
Oh, Mommy! - Oh, darling!
314
What a treat. Let me
look at you. You look great.
315
Where is he?.
316
Just inside
the door. Go ahead. He's waiting for you.
317
Hello,
Norman.
318
-
Well, look at you. - Happy birthday.
319
Look at this little fat
girl, Ethel.
320
Oh, Norman! You're as thin as a rail,
isn't she?.
321
- Sure. - Oh! My darling, I'm so glad
you're home.
322
I didn't think we were gonna make it.
323
- We rented
a carthat explodes every 40 miles. - Rented a car,
huh?.
324
- In
Boston. - What sort of car is it?.
325
- I don't know. Green, I
think. - A green car.
326
- I meant, what sort of make is it?. -
I don't know.
327
She doesn't know. It doesn't matter.
328
Of course it
doesn't matter. I was just curious.
329
Well, I guess I should
have looked.
330
Let's see. It's very ugly, and it
breaks down a lot.
331
Ugly and breaks down?.
332
Sounds like a Nash.
333
- Yes, well-
- Where's your friend?.
334
You did bring your friend, didn't you?.
335
I knew there
was something I was forgetting.
336
- That's still on, huh?.
- Well, as far as I know.
337
Come on in. No one's
gonna bite you.
338
- Mommy, Norman, this is Billy Ray. -
Oh?.
339
Howyou
doing?.
340
You
seem awfully young to be a dentist.
341
- This is Billy Ray,Jr.
- I'm Norman Thayer,Jr. Where's-
342
His father is trying to
park the car.
343
This is a great surprise. You can call
me Ethel, and you can call Norman Norman.
344
I like your
logic, Mommy. I'm gonna go see if Bill has driven
into the lake.
345
I'll put away some of these things.
346
I hear you
turned 80 today.
347
- That what you heard?. - Yeah.
348
Man, that's
really old.
349
You should meet my father.
350
- Your father's still
alive?. - No, but you should meet him.
351
Isn't this fun?. Norman,
why don't we put Billy in Chelsea's old room?.
352
Then he can
look out at the lake in the morning.
353
Why don't we put him out
on the float?. He can look at the lake all night
long.
354
- I'd
like that. - You'd be eaten alive by all the bugs.
355
- So?. -
Norman, take him up.
356
- Show him where everything is. - Come
on, boy.
357
I
just had a birthday too. I turned 13 two weeks
ago.
358
Oh?.
We're practically twins.
359
I'm so glad you're here.
360
He'll be
right in. He actually thinks you have to lock your
car.
361
Mommy,
Norman looks so old.
362
Oh, I don't know.
363
You look great though.
364
- Thank you.
So do you. I love your hair. - Thanks.
365
How's his mind?. Is he
remembering things better?.
366
Oh, he's all right. He's
all right.
367
Come on, Billy. Let me show you the
bathroom, if I can remember where it is.
368
Well, at
least he hasn't changed.
369
Nope, he's still
impossible. It means so much to him to have you
here.
370
- Now
he's got someone he can pick on. - Come on.
371
- Thank you
for coming. - Thank you for inviting me.
372
Chels.
373
Well, you
finally made it.
374
- Oh, hi. - This is my mother. This is
Bill Ray.
375
-
Hello. - I think I saw a bear.
376
No, no. You couldn't
have seen a bear out there this time of year.
377
There are
some rather nasty moths though.
378
This was a little big
for a moth.
379
If you really want to be scared, wait
till you meet my father.
380
- Hey, Dad! - Hey,
Billy!
381
-
Dad, they do have indoor plumbing. - Great.
382
Chelsea was
just bullshitting us.
383
I like to paint a rather rustic picture
oflife on Golden Pond.
384
- It's rustic, all right. - It's lovely
rusticity.
385
Yeah, we've been peeing indoors for 40
years.
386
- You
must be Norman. - Yeah, must be. Who are you?.
387
- Bill Ray.
- Bill Ray?. The dentist?.
388
- Yes, sir. - Wanna see
my teeth?.
389
I'd just like to tell you, sir, how
glad we are to be here.
390
Chelsea's told me so much about you...
391
your lovely
wife and your wonderful place on the lake.
392
We're very
pleased she's brought us here.
393
I'm frankly surprised
Chelsea could find the way.
394
Well, she's here,
Norman, and that's what's important.
395
do you visit your
parents?.
396
-
No, sir. My parents both passed away. - I see.
397
Then you
have a good excuse.
398
- Norman, please. - Norman, why-
399
What?. Am I
not allowed to speak to our guests?. Is that it?.
400
They're
afraid I'm going to embarrass them.
401
Well, I'm gonna go say
hello to the lake. Anybody coming?.
402
Me. I never seen anyone
say hello to a lake before.
403
- Mommy, you coming?. -
Yeah. Want to take the boat?.
404
- Boat?. All right! -
Bill, aren't you coming?.
405
Where?. Outside?.
406
That's where
the lake is. Coming, Norman?.
407
No, I think I'll just
sit here and enjoy the quiet.
408
- I'll stay too. - With
Bill.
409
- The
screen door's broken. - Really?. Norman will fix
it.
410
- I love
your house. - Thank you.
411
It's not for sale.
412
I don't want
to buy it. I just like it.
413
It has a charming
ambience.
414
How does it feel to turn 80?.
415
Twice as bad
as it did turning 40.
416
Yeah. I know what that's like.
417
I turned 40
five years ago.
418
Forty-five now.
419
- Norman?. - Huh?.
420
- do you
mind if I call you Norman?. - I believe you just
did.
421
I don't
want to press.
422
What should I call your wife?.
423
How about
Ethel?. That's her name.
424
Ethel Thayer. Sounds
like I'm lisping, doesn't it?.
425
Ethel Thayer.
426
Almost kept
her from marrying me. Wanted me to change my last
name to hers.
427
- What was that?. - I don't remember.
428
I think I'll
start a new book...
429
so I can finish it before I'm finished
myself.
430
Maybe a novelette.
431
Maybe something from
Reader's Digest Abridged,
432
Here's Treasure Island,
433
- Ever read
this book?. - Oh, yeah, that's a great book.
434
I'd highly
recommend that one.
435
- No need for that. I've read it
myself. - Yeah?.
436
But my mind is going, so it'll all be
new to me.
437
That son of yours ever read this book?.
438
I don't
think so.
439
Your son hasn't read Treasure Island?
440
No, but I
intend to have him read it.
441
His mother's been the
real force in his life lately...
442
but I intend to
eradicate, you know...
443
some of the dishevelment.
444
Actually, things are
coming together very nicely for me lately.
445
I'm
beginning to feel very good about myself.
446
Meeting
Chelsea was a major-
447
thing and-
448
We have a very kinetic relationship.
449
It's very
positive. I'm sure you'd be pleased.
450
- What do you charge for
a filling?. - Hmm?.
451
You're a dentist, aren't you?. What do
you charge for a filling?.
452
- It's generally $$40. -
Forty dollars?. Good God.
453
Norman?.
454
We'd like to sleep
together, if it's all right with you.
455
What do you mean?.
456
We'd like to
sleep together in the same room-
457
same bed- if it's not
offensive to you.
458
- All three of you?. - No,just two.
459
You and
Billy?.
460
No.
461
Not Chelsea
and Billy?.
462
No.
463
That leaves Chelsea and you then.
464
That's
right.
465
Why
would I find that offensive?.
466
You're not planning on
doing something unusual, are you?.
467
No, no. Just, you know-
468
Ah, doesn't
seem too offensive as long as you're quiet.
469
Thank you.
470
Chelsea
always slept in the same bed with her husband.
471
Yeah, I'm
sure.
472
Ethel
and I do. We sleep together. Been doing it for
years.
473
-
Sure, yeah. - I guess I'd be...
474
delighted to have you
abuse my daughter under my own roof.
475
Would you like the room
where I first violated her mother?.
476
Or would you be
interested in the master bedroom?.
477
Ethel, your boy and I
could sleep out back.
478
You could do it right here on the
hearth. Like that?.
479
- You're having a good time, aren't
you?. - Huh?.
480
Chelsea told me all about how you like
to have a good old time with people's heads.
481
She does too
sometimes.
482
Sometimes I can get into it and
sometimes not.
483
I think you should know I'm pretty good
at recognizing crap when I hear it.
484
You know, it's not
imperative that you and I become friends.
485
But I
thought it would be nice.
486
I'm sure you're a very
fascinating person...
487
and I thought it would be fascinating
getting to know you.
488
That's obviously not an easy task.
489
No.
490
You just go
ahead and be...
491
as poopy as you want, to quote
Chelsea...
492
and I'll be as receptive and as
pleasant as I can be...
493
but I want you to bear one thing in
mind...
494
while you're jerking me around, making
me feel like an asshole...
495
I know precisely what
you're up to.
496
I'll take just so much of it.
497
Okay?.
498
Now, what is
the bottom line on this illicit sex question?.
499
Very good.
500
That was a
good speech. Bottom line, huh?. You're a bottom
line man.
501
All right, here's the bottom line.
502
Okay.
503
Hm?.
504
You seem
like a nice man. Bit verbose, but nice.
505
- Thank you.
- And you're right about me.
506
- I am fascinating. -
I'm sure you are.
507
Let's get back to talking about sex.
Anything you want to know,just ask me.
508
No, I just-
509
I just wanted to clear
up that little question.
510
- Chelsea and I can
sleep together, right?. - Sure, please do.
511
Just don't
let Ethel catch you.
512
Dad! Dad! I paddled the canoe!
513
A canoe.
It's a boat, just like the Indians had.
514
Actually,
the Indians use a different grade of aluminum.
515
Yeah.
Chelsea wants you to come down to the lake.
516
- She and
Ethel are going skinny-dipping. - Skinny-dipping?.
517
Go ahead.
Permissiveness runs rampant here on Golden Pond.
518
- Let's go.
- Yeah.
519
Oh,
are there any bears around here?.
520
Oh, sure, black bears
and grizzlies.
521
One came along here last month and ate
an old lesbian.
522
Dad, come on. He's just bullshitting
you. Come on.
523
Okay.
524
- Hey, hey. Where do you think you're
going?. - Skinny-dipping with Chelsea.
525
No, no, you're going
back inside and talk to Mr. Thayer.
526
Bullshit! I'm not going
in there with that old turkey. He gives me the
creeps.
527
What
if he dies?.
528
If you don't start behaving yourself,
I'm gonna send you right back to your mother.
529
You
understand that?. Is that what you want?.
530
Now go back
in there and talk to him. Maybe you'll learn
something.
531
Go on. Go on.
532
Remember when I was nine
years old...
533
and I came down and caught you and
Norman skinny-dipping?.
534
- No, I don't remember. - Oh, Don't you
remember?.
535
I
had that big light, and I shined it on Norman on
the diving board and He was naked.
536
He screamed at me. He
called me a spy and sent me to my room for the
rest of the year.
537
Took me so long to get over that.
538
It took
Norman a long time before he'd go skinny-dipping
again.
539
He
wouldn't even get out of the water until I went up
and made sure you were asleep.
540
I was so bloody mad at
him for yelling at you...
541
that I let him float
around down here for an hour or so, freezing to
death.
542
Good!
543
You going
skinny-dipping?.
544
Huh?.
545
- are you going skinny-dipping?. - Nah.
You?.
546
Nah.
547
I try to be
selective about who I flash in front of.
548
Oh?.
549
Chelsea says
you're a real heavy-duty fisherman.
550
She calls you the old
man of the sea.
551
I've caught a few.
552
- You fish?. - Nah.
553
What do you
do out there in California?.
554
I mean, what does one do
for recreation...
555
when one is 13 and not in school?.
556
We cruise
chicks.
557
-
Hmm?. - Cruise chicks.
558
You know, meet 'em. Girls.
559
Try to pick 'em up.
560
What do you
do with 'em when you have 'em?.
561
Suck face.
562
I beg your pardon.
563
You know,
kiss. Suck face. You kiss.
564
Ever read this book
Treasure Island?
565
No.
566
- Go read it. - Now?.
567
Go on. Take it upstairs.
Read the first chapter. Give me a report in the
morning.
568
I
thought you said we were gonna have a party here
though.
569
I'll
call you when the party's underway, if it ever is.
Go on.
570
Oh.
I'm sorry.
571
That's all right.
572
Chelsea's still in the
water. You should go on down.
573
- No one should skinny-
dip alone. - Right.
574
- Oh- - Yes?.
575
What is that over
there?.
576
That's a lawn chair.
577
Oh.
578
- Go on. Right down the
path. - Right.
579
See you later.
580
I thought you'd be nude.
581
Nope. Sorry.
582
I didn't
want to overwhelm our guest on his first night.
583
- He's nice,
isn't he?. - Yeah.
584
- Forty dollars a filling. - Forty
dollars?.
585
-
That's enough to keep you off sweets. - Hey.
586
He'd be a
good catch, wouldn't he?.
587
- He said they wanted to
sleep together. - Why not?. They're big people.
588
Yeah.
589
- You and I
did, didn't we?. - Did we?.
590
Oh, Norman.
591
Have you been picking on
him?.
592
Yeah.
He finds me fascinating.
593
Well, why not?.
594
Norman.
595
- Norman. -
Hmm?.
596
Chelsea wants us to do something for
her.
597
She
wants to leave Billy here with us for a month.
598
- Which
Billy?. - Oh!
599
Billy, Norman, the little one.
600
Bill is
supposed to have him for the summer, and the kid
would be miserable in Europe.
601
Bill seems very nice,
and Chels needs someone nice.
602
Couldn't we do that for
her?.
603
What
would we do with the boy?. What would I say to
him?.
604
You'd
think of something.
605
Let's do it. Let's say we'll do it...
606
and give
Chelsea some happiness, yes?.
607
All right.
608
We'll have a splendid
time, the three of us, won't we?.
609
I don't know. We might.
610
You know,
Norman...
611
you really are the sweetest man in the
world...
612
but
I'm the only one who knows it.
613
Happy birthday to you
614
Happy
birthday to you
615
Happy birthday, dear Norman
616
Happy birthday
617
To you
618
And many
more
619
Beautiful.
620
I suppose you expect me to sing
something now.
621
Well, I'm not about to.
622
I've been trying all day
to draw some...
623
profound conclusions about living
fourscore years.
624
Haven't thought of anything.
625
Surprised it
got here so fast.
626
But I'm glad I got to spend so much
time with this beautiful woman.
627
What's your name again?.
628
I want to
thank all of you for coming all the way here from
Disneyland...
629
towitness this historic event.
630
Now that I'm
out of hot air...
631
I'm gonna need a little assistance to
get these candles out.
632
Come on, everybody.
633
Whoo!
634
- Come on! - Chicken.
635
Charlie!
636
Well, holy
MacKanolly. Look at you!
637
- Chelsea MacKanelsie! -
Charlie MacKanolly!
638
Boy, it's good to See you.
639
You've held up good.
640
Thanks. So
have you.
641
Bill! This is my old friend, Charlie.
642
- He's the
mailman. - Hi. How are you?.
643
Hello. Want a ride?.
644
I'd love
one.
645
Great.
646
Soyou
actually deliver the mail in a boat, huh?.
647
What an
incredible tradition.
648
Oh, Charlie is a legend on this lake.
649
He gets the
mail through no matter what.
650
- Isn't that right,
Charlie?. - Yeah. Guess so.
651
Must be a bitch in the
winter, huh?.
652
Yeah. In the winter I have a hell of a
time.
653
Course, there's nobody on the lake to
deliver to...
654
so I get done a lot faster.
655
Well, you got a great
setup here. You're a lucky man.
656
You're a lucky man too.
657
Yeah, I
guess I am.
658
What do you usually do at a time like
this?.
659
Well,
generally, I just fall into the lake.
660
Just-
661
Whoa! Oh!
662
- Here, let me get- -
No!
663
All
right, come on, Dad. Big rolls here. You can beat
him.
664
- All
right. - Big rolls.
665
- All right! - Two threes. What does
that mean?.
666
It means doubles, which always means
you get 14, you see?.
667
You just send me home and get 20 more,
for God's sake.
668
All right, Dadders!
669
- Good. - Excellent.
You're a natural.
670
Starting to regret teaching you this
game.
671
Chels.
Hey, Chels. Parcheesi pro.
672
Chelsea doesn't like
playing games.
673
We don't know why. Probably doesn't
like losing.
674
I tend to panic when the competition
gets too intense.