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英语阅读:为什么婆媳关系总是紧张

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2021-03-03 13:55
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2021年3月3日发(作者:facilitate)


英语阅读:为什么婆媳关系总是紧张








It is usually husbands who crack the jokes about


difficult, interfering mothers-in-law.


But their wives probably have more reason to complain.


A study of hundreds of families has found that mothers are


far more likely to feud with a daughter-in-law than a


son-in-law.


Nearly two- thirds of daughters-in-law accused their


husband's mother of 'unreasonably jealous maternal love'.


A similar proportion of mothers-in-law complained they had


been isolated and excluded by a female addition to the


family.


Dr Terri Apter, a psychologist at Newnham College,


Cambridge, has spent 20 years researching the type of


battles seen in the film Monster-in-Law, starring Jane


Fonda and Jennifer Lopez.


She interviewed 49 couples and 156 other people, and


drew on past studies to compile her new book, What Do


You Want From Me?


She said: 'As they struggle to achieve the same position in


the family as primary woman, each tries to establish or


protect their status, each feels threatened by the other.


'Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflict often emerges


from an expectation that each is criticizing or undermining


the other. But this mutual unease may have less to do with


actual attitudes and far more to do with persistent female


norms that few of us manage to shake off completely.'


These 'norms' include the fact that wives are still usually in


charge of the cooking, cleaning and children's welfare -


opening them up to criticism from an older woman who has


done it all before.


And many women cannot break the habits of childhood,


when they ousted rivals from playground cliques using


subtle and indirect insults over extended periods of time.


Dr Apter said one woman she spoke to began receiving


messages from her mother-in-law-to-be two months before


the wedding.


Jenny, 26, from North London, said one warned: 'My son


thinks about me every day, every minute of the day, every


second of every minute of the day.' Other letters were


critical, intrusive or seeking pity.


Another interviewee, mother-in-law Annie, 64, from


Yorkshire, said: 'My daughter-in-law is so cold towards me.

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