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Unit 7
The Chaser
John Henry
Collier
1
Alan Austen, as nervous as
a kitten, went up certain dark and
creaky stairs in the neighborhood of
Pell Street, and peered about
for
a
long
time
on
the
dim
hallway
before
he
found
the
name
he
wanted written obscurely
on one of the doors.
2
He
pushed
open
this
door,
as
he
had
been
told
to
do,
and
found himself in a tiny room, which
contained no furniture but a
plain
kitchen table, a rocking-chair, and an ordinary
chair. On one
of the dirty buff-
coloured walls were a couple of shelves,
containing
in all perhaps a dozen
bottles and jars.
3
An
old
man
sat
in
the
rocking-
chair,
reading
a
newspaper.
Alan, without a
word, handed him the card he had been given. “Sit
down,
Mr.
Austen,”
said
the
old
man
very
politely.
“I
am
glad
to
make your acquaintance.”
4
“Is it true,” asked Alan, “that you
have a certain mixture that
has … er …
quite extraordinary effects?”
5
“My dear sir,” replied the old man, “my
stock in trade is not
very large
—
I don’t deal in
laxative
s and teething mixtures
—
but
such
as
it
is,
it
is
varied.
I
think
nothing
I
sell
has
effects
which
could be precisely described as
ordinary.”
6
“Well, the fact is …” began Alan.
7
“Here,
for
example,”
interrupted
the
old
man,
reaching
for
a
bottle
from
the
shelf.
“Here
is
a
liquid
as
colourless
as
water,
almost tasteless,
quite imperceptible in coffee, wine, or any other
beverage.
It
is
also
quite
imperceptible
to
any
known
method
of
autopsy.”
8
“Do
you
mean
it
is
a
poison?”
cried
Alan,
very
muc
h
horrified.
9
“Call
it
a
glove
-
cleaner
if
you
like,”
said
the
old
man
indifferently.
“Maybe
it
will
clean
gloves.
I
have
never
tried.
One
might call it a
life-
cleaner. Lives need cleaning
sometimes.”
10
“I want nothing of that
sort,” said Alan.
11
“Probably it is
just as well,” said the old man. “Do you know
the price of this? For one teaspoonful,
which is sufficient, I ask five
thousand dollars. Never less. Not a
penny less.”
12
“I
hope
all
your
mixtures
are
not
as
expensive,”
said
Alan
apprehensively.
13
“Oh
dear,
no,”
said
the
old
man.
“It
would
be
no
good
charging
that
sort
of
price
for
a
love
potion,
for
example.
Young
people
who
need
a
love
potion
very
seldom
have
five
thousand
dollars. Otherwise they would not need
a love potion.”
14
“I am glad to
hear that,” said Alan.
15
“I
look
at
it
like
this,”
said
the
old
man.
“Please
a
customer
with
one
article,
and
he
will
come
back
when
he
needs
another.
Even if it is more
costly. He will save up for it, if necessary.”
16
“So,” said Alan, “you really do sell
love potions?”
17
“If I did not
sell love potions,” said the old man, reaching for
another bottle, “I should not have
mentioned the other matter to
you.
It
is
only
when
one
is
in
a
position
to
oblige
that
one
can
afford to
be so
confidential. “
18
“And
these
potions,”
said
Alan.
“They
are
not
just
…
just
…
er …”
19
“Oh, no,” said the old man. “Their
effects are permanent, and
extend far
beyond the mere casual impulse. But they include
it. Oh,
yes they include it.
Bountifull
y, insistently.
Everlastingly.”
20
“Dear
me!”
said
Alan,
attempting
a
look
of
scientific
detachment. “How very interesting!”
21
“But consider the spiritual side,” said
the old man.
22
“I do, indeed,” said Alan.
23
“For
indifference,”
said
the
old
man,
“they
substitute
devotion. For
scorn, adoration. Give one tiny measure of this to
the
young lady
—
its flavour is imperceptible in orange juice,
soup, or
cocktails
—
and
however
gay
and
giddy
she
is,
she
will
change
altogether. She will want
nothin
g but solitude and you.”
24
“I can hardly believe it,”
said Alan. “She is so fond of parties.”
25
“She
will
not
like
them
anymore,”
said
the
old
man.
“She
will be afraid of the
pretty girls you may meet.”
26
“She
will
actually
be
jealous?”
cried
Alan
in
a
rapture.
“Of
me?”
27
“Yes, she will want to be everything to
you.”
28
“She is, already. Only she
doesn’t care about it.”
29
“She
will,
when
she
has
taken
this.
She
will
care
intensely.
You will be her
sole interest in life.”
30
“Wonderful!”
cried Alan.
31
“She will want to know all
you do,” said the old man. “All that
has
happened
to
you
during
the
day.
Every
word
of
it.
She
will
want to know what you
are thinking about, why you smile suddenly,
why you are looking sad.”
32
“That is love!” cried Alan.
33
“Yes,”
said
the
old
man.
“How
carefully
she
will
look
after
you!
She
will
never
allow
you
to
be
tired,
to
sit
in
a
draught,
to
neglect your food. If you are an hour
late, she will be terrified. She
will
think you are killed, or
that some
siren has caught you.”
34
“I
can
hardly
imagine
Diana
like
that!”
cried
Alan,
overwhelmed with joy.
35
“You will not have to use
your imagination,” said the old man.
“And,
by
the
way,
since
there
are
always
sirens,
if
by
any
chance
you
should,
later
on,
slip
a
little,
you
need
not
worry.
She
will
forgive you, in the end. She will be
terribly hurt, of course, but she
will
forgive you
—
in
the end.”
36
“That will not happen,”
said Alan fervently.
37
“Of course
not,” said the old man. “Bu
t, if it
did, you need not
worry.
She
would
never
divorce
you.
Oh,
no!
And,
of
course,
she
will
never
give
you
the
least,
the
very
least,
grounds
for
—uneasiness.”
38
“And how much,”
said Alan, “is this wonderful mixture?”
39
“It is not as dear,” said the old man,
“as the glove
-cleaner, or
life-cleaner, as I sometimes call it.
No. That is five thousand dollars,
never a penny less. One has to be older
than you are, to indulge in
that sort
of thing. One has to save up for it.”
40
“But the love potion?” said Alan.
41
“Oh,
that,”
said
the
old
man,
opening
the
drawer
in
the
kitchen
table,
and
taking
out
a
tiny,
rather
dirty-looking
phial.
“That is just a dollar.”
42
“I can’t tell you how grateful I am,”
said Alan, watching him
fill it.
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