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What side of the fence you’re in affects
your point of view regarding the advantages and
disadvantages of arranged marriages.
Perhaps there are only advantages. Or no advantage
at
all. Your cultural upbringing and
religious convictions are strong determinants of
where you
stand on this issue.
But for argument’s sake, why don’t we
take a look at both sides of the coin? But before
we do,
we need to make it clear that
arranged marriages may or may not be forced. In
fact these days,
more and more arranged
marriages are premised on mutually consenting
adults. Even people
who pledge
allegiance to the Islamic faith know that marrying
an individual is possible only if
they
both like each other. Contrary to popular belief,
Muslims believe that the happiness of both
spouses is of paramount importance.
Advantages of Arranged Marriages
If we leave the west for a few days and
transplant ourselves into any culture that
promotes
arranged marriages, we will,
in time, realize the logic behind this practice
and appreciate the
reasons why they
work. Some of those reasons can be attributed to
the wisdom of elders.
Because they
raised and cared for their children, they
instinctively know what’s best for their
children, which includes the decision
to select a life partner.
1. Risk of
incompatibility
（不两立，不相容）
is
diminished
Arranged marriages
presuppose that two people are perfectly matched
because they belong to
the same
culture, share the same religious upbringing,
speak the same language, and raised in
more or less the same socio-economic
class. These identical backgrounds make it easier
for the
couple to communicate with each
other and understand where each “is coming from.”
Decisions in the upbringing of future
children and their education leave little room for
disparities in their thinking because
of this “likeness.”
2. Idea
of divorcing is unthinkable
This is
another acknowledged advantage of arranged
marriages. Given that the man and
woman
come from a similar background and therefore share
the same views of marriage and
family,
the chance of divorcing due to irreconcilable
differences is not as strong as in western
cultures.
Note that it is
not so much the arranged marriage per se that
reduces the likelihood of divorce.
As
we discussed in another article, most arranged
marriages no longer trigger a negative
reaction because a good number of them
are not forced. Parents who arrange marriages are
fully aware that their children can
always refuse a selected partner, in which case
they simply
look for another suitable
partner. The input from the future groom and bride
carries weight.
The combination,
therefore, of the parents’ wisdom and consent of
the child would lead to a
happier union
so divorce would be unlikely.