怪诞小镇2-6

旅行者

你好

Well, hello there, traveler.

我瞧见你的车在这偏僻的乡村小路上抛锚了

I see your car broke down on this lonesome country road,

这里人迹稀少

没人能听见你的尖叫

a place so remote that no one can hear your screams!

就当我没说过

Pretend I didn't say that.

进来

快进来

但要当心

Come in, come in, but be warned,

如果你进来了

可能会沉迷于我的故事

if you enter you may be subjected to my tales.

我为了卖出商品而编造的故事

Tales designed to sell my merchandise!

抱歉

我刚刚在想先前听到的一些有趣的事

Sorry, I was thinking of something funny I heard earlier.

怪诞小镇

第二季第六集

Gravity Falls SE Little Gift Shop of Horrors

你已经来到闭馆后的神秘小屋

You've come to the Mystery Shack after-hours,

现在只有最恐怖的和被诅咒的物品出售

a

time

when

only

our

creepiest

and

most

cursed

objects

are

for

sale,

就像那边的东西一样

like that thing there!

不喜欢吗

身上洞太多吗

No, not a fan? Too many orifices?

好吧

我可以看出你在寻找的是

All right, I can tell what you're looking for is this disembodied hand.

这只假手为什么这么贵

Why is it so expensive?

这事说来话长了这个叫做断手不

Well, that's quite a tale and it's called Hands Off!

说真的

这个断手是不卖的

No, seriously, hands off, that's not for sale.

好吧

All right.

断手

Hands Off!

断手

重力泉 跳蚤市场

N

当停车场遇上垃圾堆

跳蚤市场

交换旧货

交换旧货

Swap meet! Swap meet! Swap meet!

看看这些无价之宝

Look at all these priceless treasures.

摇头娃娃

Bobbly-heads!

我说什么他们都同意呢

They agree with everything I say.

教授眼镜

Professor glasses!

戴上它我看起来就像个天才

They make me look like a genius.

瞧瞧这些假黄金做的美物

Look at these faux-gold beauties.

真有黑帮老大的范儿啊

They're mob-boss quality.

好啦

孩子们

准备看我一展讨价议价的美妙艺术吧

All right, kids, prepare to watch the delicate art of the deal.

喂

妖婆

这些旧表多少钱

Hey, hag-face! How much for the junk watches?

这些表不卖

They are not for sale.

就是不卖给你

斯坦·派恩斯

Not for you, Stan Pines!

风在轻吟你的名字

The wind whispers your name!

嘘

你们都安静点

Shh... Shush, you guys.

够了

我懂了

你这个怪人

All right, I get it, you're creepy.

总之

你少说几句就能多卖几块手表

Anyway, less talky, more watchy!

别碰我的手表

Get your hands off my watch!

恶心

怪人

Yeesh! Freak show.

哇

某人得练练社交技巧喽

Wow, someone needs to work on their social skills.

还有观察能力

And their observation skills.

砰

Boom!

干的好

能偷天盗影的手

Good job, heisting hands.

斯坦叔公

你真要从女巫那儿偷东西吗

Grunkle Stan, are you seriously shoplifting from a witch?

这样听来好像个诅咒

That sounded like a curse.

这样听来好像个诅咒

嘿

有人想买条湿毛毯吗

Hey, anyone want to buy a wet blanket?

我们出售湿毛毯呢

We got a wet blanket for sale!

我在这市场上混不下去了

I can't survive in this market.

呵呵

诅咒

Ha, curse.

是啊

Yeah, right.

等等

这个诅咒是恶毒的还是一般毒

Wait, is this curse ugly or normal ugly?

貌似我一点事都没有

Looks like I got off scot-free.

好了

小家伙们

早饭时间

All right, kiddos, breakfast time.

准备享受这盘

Prepare your mouths for--

啊

天哪

没有手

Whoa! Whoa-ah! No hands!

斯坦叔公

你的手怎么啦

Grunkle Stan, what happened to your hands?

我大概是中了点诅咒吧

So I might have got cursed a little,

不过这表看起来真棒

是吧

but the watch looks nice, right?

蠢货

偷窃的双手会揭发邪恶的面孔

Foolish man, thieving hands find wicked face!

你必须归还不属于你的东西

You must return what isn't yours...

这样好多了

That's better.

我跟你说过

斯坦叔公

I told you, Grunkle Stan,

你必须把表还回去并且道歉

you got to give that watch back and apologize.

什么

What?

应该是那个老太婆给我道歉才对因为她剥夺了我买便宜货的权力

That old crone should apologize to me for denying my right to buy cheap junk.

我才不需要手呢

我可是有自尊的人

I don't need hands, I've got self respect.

梅宝

亲爱的

你能帮你叔公做双手吗

Mabel, sweetie, will you make your uncle some hands?

啦啦啦

双手大改造

La- la-la. Hands makeover!

和你的“新手”打个招呼吧

加引号

Say hello to your

做的不错

孩子

Nice work, kid.

瞧

新手比预想好多了

See, hands are overrated.

我准备好迎接这一天啦

I'm ready to take on the day!

夫人

Ma'am.

派恩斯先生

Hey, Mr. Pines.

我们是不是该像平常一样玩扔鸡蛋游戏了

Should we play toss me a dozen eggs like we always do?

不

吉米

等等

今天不行

No, Jimmy, wait! Not today!

今天不行

Not today!

我们去找那个巫婆吧

Let's find that witch.

跳蚤市场宣传册上说

According to the swap meet pamphlet,

手巫婆住在手巫婆山上的

the

hand

witch

lives

in

a

horrible

hand

witch

lairon

Hand

Witch

Mountain.

一个恐怖的手巫婆洞穴里别再说手巫婆了

Stop saying hand witch!

斯坦叔公

你刚才是不是拍了下我的肩膀

Grunkle Stan, did you just tap my shoulder?

孩子

我现在可什么都拍不了

Kid, I can't tap anything.

伙计们

你们能不要拍我两个肩膀了好吗

Guys, can you stop tapping both my shoulders?

手

好多手

Hands! Lots of hands!

看看这感人的一幕

Look at this touching scene.

击个掌

Up top!

你们真懂我

You guys, you guys get me.

行了

你个可怕的老姑娘

你抓住我了

All right, you horrible wench, you got me.

偷窃是错误的行为

等等

拿去

Stealing is wrong, etcetera, take it.

那现在能把我的手还给我吗

Now can I have my hands back?

有个手势我想与你分享

I have a certain gesture I'd like to share with you.

哎呀

拿回你的手可没那么简单

Alas, your hands cannot be gotten so easily.

咒语规定

呃

The spirits say, um...

只有一个吻才能解开这个诅咒

that the curse can only be broken by a kiss!

什么

What?

只能这样了

孩子们

It's all right, kids.

你们转过去

Just look away.

是亲嘴

A kiss on the lips!

天啊

休想

我才不会亲那个恶心的东西

What? Forget it! I'm not kissing any of that mess.

我还没那么需要我的手

I don't need my hands that bad.

是啊

你根本是在胡扯

Yeah, you're just making stuff up now.

孩子们

我们走

Let's go, kids.

不

等等

别走

No, wait! Don't go!

你是对的

你是对的

You're right, you're right.

刚才那些都是我编的

I was just making all that stuff up.

我就是想找人发展一下

你懂的

Just trying to get something going, you know.

最近难得结识其他人

So hard to meet people these days.

那么所有的这一切是就是为了能约个会

So this was all just a ploy to get a date?

我很饥渴

行了吧

I'm desperate, okay?

可每次我把人带到这里来

But every time I bring someone back here

如果没扣下他们的手

他们就会跑掉

without keeping their hands hostage, they just run away!

是啊

看看这可怕的地方

Well, yeah, look at this horror show.

对一个山洞来说也是够毛骨悚然的了

It's creepy even for a cave!

你只是需要重新装饰一下

You just need to redecorate.

比如说

For example...

一个手制烛台

A handelabra!

噢

手巫婆很喜欢这个

Ooh, the hand witch likes.

那就看我的吧

Then watch me work.

家居大改造

Home makeover!

迪普：油漆顾问

重新装修

Redecorate.

梅宝：上色

重新刷墙

Redo you.

改变环境

Change it around.

斯坦：订锤子

付出努力才能得到回报

You got to do it to make it work.

好了

现在看看你漂亮的新家吧

Okay. Time to take a look at your fantastic new cave.

男人们现在绝对能容忍你了

Men will definitely tolerate you now.

我还在茶几上给你留了本搭讪攻略

And I left a book of pickup lines on the end table.

噢

我的老天

Blah! Oh, my goodness!

不敢相信这还是原来那个山洞

I can't believe this is the same cave!

天哪

Oh, my goodness!

我高兴得说不出话来啦

I just can't find the words.

说句“把手还给你”怎么样

How about

噢

对了

Oh, right.

有点抖

有点痒

Shaky, Scratchy.

我想死你们这双坏家伙了

I've missed you old rascals.

你没问题了

姐们儿

You're all right, sister.

那你现在能做我的男朋友了吗

Will you be my boyfriend now?

不

没戏

No, never.

好吧

我什么也没学到

Well, I learned nothing.

又要回到我一瘸一拐的孤独生活了

Back to my crippling loneliness.

嗨

我在这片山区迷路了

Hey, I'm lost in these mountains.

我能在这里住一夜吗

Could I crash here for the night?

请进来吧

Please, come in. Uh...

搭讪攻略

“天哪

这是条太空裤吗”

“因为你的屁股举世无双啊”

Because your butt looks out of this world.

谢谢你注意到了

Well, thanks for noticing.

太好了

Yes!

好了

我懂了

All right, I get it.

你不想要手

你是个明智的顾客

You don't want the hand, you're a savvy customer.

但也许你会想买

呃

But perhaps you'd be interested in buying, um...

这只魔力猪

this magic pig.

他的确看起来没什么魔力

Sure he doesn't look magic,

但是我马上就能给他编一个

but there is a very interesting story

非常有意思的故事给你听

I'm about to make up about him,

故事的名字叫做

and it's called

怪猪奇谈

Abaconings!

bordshadfn

文鼎霹雳体怪猪

奇谈

“搞毛啊多面体”

只要解开这个智力谜题

Solve this test of intelligence

你的照片就可能出现在这个盒子上

and your photo could be on this box.

这种虚假广告我还是能识破的

Whoa. That's false advertising I can get behind.

拜托

Come on.

那可是太遗憾了

Ooh, that's a bummer.

这是小梅梅与哼唧的早间广播

This is May May and The Hogg coming at you on the AM.

不知道咱在电台上能不能说这个哟

Not sure we can say that on the air.

别碰调频板了

老司机们

Don't touch that dial, truckers,

因为哼唧刚刚把它们都吃了

'cause The Hogg just ate it.

梅宝

你能消停会儿吗

Mabel, could you knock it off?

我正忙着解开这个智力游戏呢

I'm trying to solve this intelligence puzzle,

但似乎不太好弄啊

but it seems impossible.

也许你就是不够聪明呗

Maybe you're just not smart enough.

那我们走着瞧

We'll see about that.

传说中的洞察蘑菇就长在瀑布边上

Buried near the falls is the legendary percepshroom.

需要增强脑力时

将其碾碎

To increase brain power, grind it up

并在夜间涂抹于前额上

and apply to the forehead overnight.

明天

我就搞定你

Tomorrow, I own you!

我已经感觉到自己智商爆表了

I feel smarter already.

圆周率是

.The digits of pi are ....

等等

etcetera.

什么

谁说的

What? Who said that?

梅宝

Mabel?

迪普

快看

Whoa! Dipper, look.

朋友们早上好

是我呀

小猪摇摇

Greetings, friends. It is I, Waddles the pig.