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PEP
小学英语六年级上册各单元作文范例及点评 p>
Li Ying ’S Hobby
Li Ying likes English very much. She works hard at it. She reads English
every
morning. She likes speaking English. She often
listens to the radio. She
watches TV
only on Saturday evening.
Does she like dancing? No, she doesn’t. B
ut she likes drawing and singing.
Her parents love her. And all the
teachers and her friends like her, too. She
says her hobbies make her happy.
【要领点评】
这一篇写爱好的文章< /p>
,
小作者的写作思路很值得我们学习
,
他没有具体写 到刘莹的某
一种爱好
,
而是从学习到课余的多种爱好入手
,
对刘莹的各种爱好进行了粗线条地勾画
.
从 p>
“
爱好
”
这
个角度来看刘莹的
话,我们会觉得这个形象很饱满。
小朋友们写这种
“
叙事写人
”
作文时,可
以从两个角度下手:一是具体地描绘;二是和上面小朋友一样,粗线条地勾画,二者各有
所长,
另处在行文中使用一些问句,
使用一些转述的话,
可以使作文更有灵气,
避免了平铺直叙的缺点。
比如上文的
“Does she like dancing? No, she doesn’t.”
和
“she says her hobbies make her happy.”
就是十
分不错的句子,使读者眼前为之一亮。<
/p>
Don’t be against the
traffic rules
I go to school from Monday to Friday .I go to school by bike at 7:30 in the
morning .I must cross two busy roads
.If the traffic light is red or yellow,I
know I can’t cross the road ,so I
wait.
If the light turns green, I know it mea
ns “Go”, and then I walk across the
road .I always ride
on the right side of the road .I am never against
the traffic
rules.
【要领点评】
这篇作文的题目是
“
不要违反交通规则
”
,小作者没有说一些空话,而是从自己的经
历写起,叙述自己以什么方式去上学,在上学
的路上是怎么做的,很形象。小朋友们在作文时注
意不要图大,那样很容易使文章显得空
洞,而要写自己身边熟悉的事情。要注意行文中字母的大
小写、句子的标点符号等。
p>
I Love My Family
Here is a photo lf my family. These are four people in my family. They are
my
father, my mother, my brother and I.
My father is a doctor. He works in a hospital far away. He goes to work by
subway. My mother is a teacher. She
works in a school near my home. She
goes to work by bike. After work, they
like reading books. Who is the tall boy?
He is my brother. He is five years
older than me. He is a singer. He’s now in
Beijing. He goes there by plane.
I love my family.
【要领点评】
一个平凡的题材,一篇生动的作文。这样的命题 ,我们可能面对几次,甚至几十
次了。但这位小朋友的笔端很是灵巧,了了数言,让一个
幸福的家庭跃然纸上,很值得我们去思
考,我们能做到吗?
小朋友的这篇作文除了语言优美之外,在结构上也有闪光之处 。先总说,
将自己的家人逐个介绍一遍,后分说,把家人的工作、上班方式,爱好一一细
说。最后以一句话
进行概括,起到点题的作用。我们在写类似的作文的时候是不是也可以
借鉴呢
?
How to get to
the science museum
We are going to the science museum tomorrow. There is an old thing show
in the Museum. Do you
know how we can get to the science museum?
The science museum is next to the People’s Park. It’s isn’t far from our
school. So we can go there on foot
.Walk straight to the west from our school,
next turn left at the post office and
walk for about 5 minutes, then turn right at
traffic lights. You can find the
People’s Park on the right . Walk straight, and
you’ll see the science museum.
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