关键词不能为空

当前您在: 作文首页 > 高中作文 >

批改网第一单元作文反馈

作者:高考题库网
来源:https://bjmy2z.cn/zuowen
2021-01-09 09:23
tags:中学生作文网站

我成功了作文400字-好听的个性签名

2021年1月9日发(作者:蔡洪)




批改网第一单元作文反馈
一、上交整体情况:


已上交学校作文见文件:《各校第一单元作文集》
未上交学校:






二、优秀作文欣赏
What My Life Will Be Like in 20 Years
姓名

北京十八中

班级

学号

8720640

考试序号

分数

1

95

初二(丰台区初二备课组长)班

How is everything going with you? I'm glad to receive your letter on
3rd March. I'm writing to talk about my future life with you.
Twenty years later, I'll be an energetic woman in my thirties. I'm going
to be very successful in my career. At that time, I will have been a popular
English teacher in my beloved junior high school in which I'm studying
now. Sometimes I will give my students online classes through the internet
and sometimes we are all present in the classroom in person. When we are
at school, playing games with my students and helping them with their
difficulties will be my routine between classes. As an enthusiastic
teacher, I like to share my time with my lovely children. However, I am
going to insist on my hobby --- reading books, which I developed when I
was young. When I'm free from my business, going on line and chatting with
my friends and teachers will be a perfect way of killing time. With the
development of the technology, I will live an easy and comfortable life.
Needless to say, I won't need to clean the house or wash clothes, for the
intelligent robot which is invented already will do all tasks like that.
In my daily life, cellphones will play a very important role, acting as
remote controls, computers, and so on. With a handsome husband who loves
me, I will live a happy life together with him. As I dream, a lovely girl
will come into our life, who is our angel.
Playing with her can be so sweet a task, and I will attempt to take
good care of her. Having a happy family and so many new productions, I
will enjoy my future life.
My future life
姓名

右安门外国语学校

班级

学号

8720675

考试序号

分数

2

92.5

初二(丰台区初二备课组长)班





In twenty years, I will be thirty-four years old. I think I will be
a successful and happy person.
I will be a good English translator and I will have my English class.
I will love my job because I love English. I do not often go to the office
because I can work at home, according to the diary of my work list. I won't
need to wake up early and I can work until late at night I think people
must have enough sleep, in order to better work.
I will leave home and live in my own flat. However, I will live near
my parents and I will visit them often, I will never forget my parents.
Every year, we will have a family trip together.
In my spare time, I’m going to speak English and travel around the
world. I like the quiet reading, reading my favorite book will read all
kinds of English books to enrich my work experience...
I like to speak English, so I have to study English with my friends
every day, and have a conversation with my friends.
I will enjoy my life a lot because I will spend my time how I want to.
Life will be so exciting wonderful and comfortable. I even dream of my
future life, which is what I want.
I'm sure my dream will come true because of my hard work and the life
in the future will get better and better.
What will my life be like in 20 years?
姓名

分院附属学校

班级

学号

8720648

考试序号

分数

3

90

初二(丰台区初二备课组长)班

In twenty years, I will be thirty-three years old. I think that I will
be a successful and happy person. Life will be so interesting and
comfortable.
I would like to be a teacher in the future and use more technology in
my job. I will enjoy my job very much because I like teaching students.
After class, I will play basketball with my students on the playground.
Sometimes I will help my students with other subjects. I think I will make
good friends with my students. I will build a website to help my students
learn and give them lesson and homework online. I will work near my home,




so I often go to work by bike. I won't need to wake up early and work until
late at night.
I will leave and live my own flat. However, I will live near my parents
so that we can have dinner and watch TV shows every day. I can also help
my parents do the housework on the weekend and chat with my friends online.
In 20 years, the robots in my home will do all the housework, so in
my spare time, I will have time to read books and drink a cup of coffee.
I like sports, too. So I will go swimming with my friend, listen to some
music with my family, watch TV with my family. Every year we will also
have a family trip together. I think I will enjoy my family life because
I love being with my family.
In 20 years, the Internet has become part of our daily life. Being online
is no longer something strange. We can use it do almost things. At that
time, perhaps we can even go to online school at home. Shopping will be
easy and fast. People can book tickets office or buy everything they need
at home.
I will enjoy my life a lot because I will spend my time how I want to.
And I can live with my parents. Life will be so interesting and
comfortable.
Rather than, I am 14 years old. But I'm sure I can make my dream come
true.
What Will My Life Be like in 20 Years
姓名

北京十二中

班级

学号

8720641

考试序号

分数

4

90

初二(丰台区初二备课组长)班

In twenty years, I will be thirty-four years old. I think I will be
successful and I will be the most famous football player in the world.
Just like my dream, I will be a football player and I will play football
in the best league. I will be the best football player because I can have
a lot of goals in the game. So, from now on I must practise the football
skills every day to improve my skill. It is necessary, I think, to overcome
all of the difficulty. And if I have a chance, I will play football for
my favourite football club-The Manchester United. I think I can play
football just like Ronaldo. I will get on well with my coach and my




teammates and do a lot of charities. They will support me to do my best
in every game. That will be the key to my success. So, I will be famous
for my football skills.
I will live with my parents, my wife and my son in the future. I will
play football with my son. Actually, I hope my son can also play football
very well.
In fact, because I am an athlete, I don't expect I will have lots of
spare time to spend. I will be busy playing football for my club.
Fortunately, I can do things that I like. So I will be happy every day.
In the future, I will enjoy my life because I will spend my time how
I want to. I can also do my favorite things and accompany the most important
people forever. Life will be so interesting and comfortable. Totally, this
is the life I want. Most importantly, I will do my best every day.
三、普遍问题

主要问题是句子不规范。
1. 句子不完整。
Because there are many famous people.
I will live in my own big house. Maybe in the other city.

2. 大小写、标点符号不规范。
it is so interesting.
I think I'll wear all kinds of color clothes, like jeans ,sports T-shirts .

3. 词性误用。
I live very happy.

Then I can use computer management my company.


具体错误参见文件;《第一单元作文错误》



























妹妹,你就这样悄无声息地消失在茫茫的人海,消失在我日夜的想念中。不曾带走我对你的点点回忆。千重山, 万重水,割不断的是情深似海如潮的的思念。
默默坐在屏前,手指在键盘上轻轻的划过,所有的怀 想,所有根植脑海抹不去的记忆,都凝聚指尖,触动着流年的痕迹,把一纸素笺的心事,轻吟纸笺,等你从陌上归 来。我的妹妹,你
在哪里啊?哪里?问天,天不语,问己,己不明。想你的日子,见不到你的踪迹,让我 陷入了沉思。有关你的一切,早已深深铭刻在心里。
妹妹,你是我心底最珍贵的爱!回想起我们一 起度过的时光,是那么的美好。所有的细节历历在目。还记得我们初遇的散文吧吗?第一次与你相遇,是在你的空 间,欣赏你温婉如水的文
字,一看到你的笔名冰格格,不问为什么,就一下子惊艳了我的目光,一下子就 喜欢上了你高贵典雅的名字,喜欢上了你才华横溢精彩的文字,喜欢上了你冰清玉洁的聪慧,喜欢上了你的一切。
妹妹,生命中的许多东西是可遇不可求的。姐姐能幸运的遇上你,是天意,是缘分,更 是生命中注定让我们有共同爱好文字,走到了一起。在那些快乐美好的日子里,我们互相点评文章,
互相 推心置腹的发短信交流,很快,我们就成了无话不说的网上好姐妹,彼此都会为伤感文字而流泪,也会为彼此的喜 悦而欢呼雀跃
妹妹,姐姐永远不会忘记,在姐姐最困难的时候,是你不离不弃的向姐姐伸出援助之 手,帮我渡过难关。是你一次次发短信打电话,询问病情,关心着姐姐。
记得那次,当电话那端, 传来千里之外,你亲切的声音,那一刻,姐姐接电话的手在颤抖,心在激烈的跳动,姐姐卸掉所有的坚强面具,再 也控制不了自己的情感,竟在你面前痛哭的发
泄流泪。你用温暖的话语,安慰鼓励着姐姐,为姐姐抹去眼 角的泪痕,把微笑的阳光,洒向姐姐的世界,从此,你就成了姐姐一生的感恩。
妹妹,你在姐姐的 眼里,是没有血缘关系,如同骨肉的亲人,甚至超越亲情的朋友,你留给姐姐的是太多太多的感动。常常让姐姐沉 浸在绵绵幸福的回忆中。
妹妹,在姐姐悲痛欲绝地行走在死亡的边缘,是你的到来,让友情如一盏 明灯,照彻我的灵魂,温暖着姐姐黑夜里的寒冷。从散文网到007等,一路走来,一根网线把我们紧紧的连在一
起,从相遇到相识,相知,想念,我们心灵共鸣,灵魂相依。
都说网络是虚拟的,没有真 情,可是网络却让我们结下一份难解难分的真情。没有刻意,没有设计,只有一次的相遇,就让不在一个区域,从 未谋面的你我,千里之距,心心相连。
妹妹,美好的日子总是过得太快,时间如白驹过隙,屈指算 来,我与你已相识六年,六年来,你一直在我的心里,梦里。如今,你突然从我和众朋友的世界里,消失的无影无 踪,怎能不
让我为你忧虑牵挂,你知道吗?这些日子,网上的朋友们都在打听你的消息,他们想念着你, 梦海,汉茂油桃老师,小傻子等,和我给你发信息,给你打电话,一次次的找遍了整个网络空间,
和你相 约的地方,可是,我们不管以怎样的方式,都没盼来你的回音,让我们焦急万分。
妹妹,你去了哪 里?是去执行任务,还是外派他地。我们无从知晓。当从北京那里得到点滴消息,如今,你陷入困境,无法自拔, 我们为你心疼,为你担心。我们怎能忍心看到你一个人,
独自承受那么多的精神压力。
妹 妹,姐姐明白,善良的你,不愿让亲人和朋友分担你的痛苦,所以,没有告别,而孑然一人,走到与世隔绝的角落
妹妹,无论你在何方,无论北京来的信息是否可靠,无论你现今有多忙,无论你发生怎样的挫折,姐 姐希望你别忘记,抽空给你的亲人,和朋友打个电话,或发个信息,报一声平安,不
能让爱你的那个人, 独自默默煎熬孤独,徒留苍茫地想念。不能让你的朋友,日夜为你担心,望眼欲穿的期盼,有什么困难说出来,让 大家替你想想办法,帮助你做点什么。




妹妹,人生的路,总不会是一帆风顺。总会遇到各种各样的风雨坎坷。很多事情,都是无法预料中发生,遇到困难 ,我们要学会坚强的面对,一首歌里唱得好“当灵魂迷失在苍凉的天和地
还有最后的坚强在支撑我身体当 灵魂赤裸在苍凉的天和地我只有选择坚强来拯救我自己。”梦海在给你的诗里写道:‘谁不能不顾自己的生命而为 那一点小小的纠纷和偶尔的失误、、、、、、
而丧失了斗志和坚强'
遥望远方,思绪蔓延 。妹妹,你在哪里啊?你在哪里?你可听到远方姐姐的呼唤!望断天涯,路漫漫,既已相遇,何忍分离。


































升国旗演讲稿-人和动物的感人故事


教师节作文-王奕欢


重阳节敬老作文-情人节红包


大连旅游胜地-大学校园活动


小学作文范文-《我们》


唐山大地震的观后感-搞笑手机短信


父亲的话-劝说


动画片仁者无敌-月亮说它忘记了



本文更新与2021-01-09 09:23,由作者提供,不代表本网站立场,转载请注明出处:https://bjmy2z.cn/zuowen/157978.html

批改网第一单元作文反馈的相关文章