土豆先生PEP小学英语六年级上册各单元作文范例及点评

PEP

小学英语六年级上册各单元作文范例及点评

Li Ying ’S Hobby

Li Ying likes English very much. She works hard at it.

She reads English every morning. She likes speaking English.

She often listens to the radio. She watches TV only on

Saturday evening.

Does she like dan

cing? No, she doesn’t. But she likes

drawing and singing. Her parents love her. And all the

teachers and her friends like her, too. She says her hobbies

make her happy.

【要领点评】

这一篇 写爱好的文章

,

小作者的写作思路很值得我们学习

,

他没有具体写到刘莹的某一种

爱好

,

而是从学习到课余 的多种爱好入手

,

对刘莹的各种爱好进行了粗线条地勾画

.

从

“

爱好

”

这个角度来看刘莹的 话，我们会觉得这个形象很饱满。

小朋友们写 这种

“

叙事写人

”

作文时，可以从两个角度下手： 一是具体地描绘；二是和上

面小朋友一样，

粗线条地勾画，

二者各有所长，另处在行文中使用一些问句，使用一些转述

的话，

可以 使作文更有灵气，

避免了平铺直叙的缺点。

比如上文的

“Does she like dancing? No,

she doesn’t.”

和

“she says her hobbies make her happy.”

就是十分不错的句子，使读者眼前为之

一亮。< /p>

Don’t be

against

（违反）

the traffic rules

I go to school from Monday to Friday .I go to school by

bike at 7:30 in the morning .I must cross two busy roads .If

the traffic light is red or yellow,I know I can’t cross the

road ,so I wait.

If the light turns green

, I know it means “Go”, and then I

walk across the road .I always ride on the right side of the

road .I am never against the traffic rules.

【要领点评】

这篇作文的题目是

“

不要违反交 通规则

”

，小作者没有说一些空话，而是从自己的经历写

起，叙述自己以什么方式去上学，在上学的路上是怎么做的，很形象。

小朋友们在作文时注意不要图大，那样很容易使文章显得空洞，而要写自己身边熟悉的

I Love My Family

Here is a photo lf my family. These are four people in my

family. They are my father, my mother, my brother and I.

My father is a doctor. He works in a hospital far away.

He goes to work by subway. My mother is a teacher. She

works in a school near my home. She goes to work by bike.

After work, they like reading books. Who is the tall boy? He

is my brother. He is five years older than me. He is a singer.

He’s now in Beijing. He goes there by pla

ne.

I love my family.

【要领点评】

一个平 凡的题材，一篇生动的作文。这样的命题，我们可能面对几次，甚至几十次了。

但这位小 朋友的笔端很是灵巧，

了了数言，

让一个幸福的家庭跃然纸上，

很 值得我们去思考，

我们能做到吗？

< /p>

小朋友的这篇作文除了语言优美之外，在结构上也有闪光之处。先总说，将自己的家人

逐个介绍一遍，

后分说，

把家人的工作、

上班方式，< /p>

爱好一一细说。

最后以一句话进行概括，

起到点题的作用。 我们在写类似的作文的时候是不是也可以借鉴呢？

How to get to the science museum

We are going to the science museum tomorrow. There is

an old thing show in the Museum. Do you know how we can

get to the science museum?

The science museum is next to the People’s Park. It’s isn’t

far from our school. So we can go there on foot .Walk

straight to the west from our school, next turn left at the

post office and walk for about 5 minutes, then turn right at

traffic lights. You can find the People’s Park on the right .

Walk straight, and you’ll see the science museum.

【要领点评】

这篇作文的题目是

“

怎样去科学博物馆

”

。怎样才算是一篇好作文呢？通过你的叙述，能

让别人很容易找到博物馆，

这应是最基本的要求。

小作者在文中告诉我们什么呢？首先他写

了去博 物馆的位置，最后浓墨重彩，指明从学校去博物馆的具体路线，这条路线够清晰吧！

小朋友们在写这类作文的时候，总有些无从下手的感觉，不知从 何说起。其实介绍路线，

无非就是告诉他人某段路的起点和终点，还有就是如何从起点走 到终点。要给他人说清楚，

你自己首先得清楚，

然后再通过自己的叙述，

将路线清清楚楚得呈现出来。

一定要注意行文

中一些关键 的地方，

如在哪儿转弯，

向哪儿转，

经过哪些重要的交通标志或显 眼的标志建筑

等。这样，你就能说清，别人也能弄明白。

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