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1
.
Watching Me Go
The crayoned picture shows a first-grade boy with shoebox arms, stovepipe legs
and tears squirting like
melon seeds. The carefully printed caption reads,
sad.
his first day of school,
dissolving at his classroom door like a human
bouillon cube.
The classroom jiggled
with small faces, wet-combed hair, white Nikes and
new
backpacks. Something furry scuttled
around in a big wire cage. Garden flowers rested
on Mrs. Phillips's desk. Mrs. Phillips
has halo status at our school. She is a kind,
soft-spoken master of the six-year-old
mind. But even she could not coax Brendan to
a seat. Most kids sat eagerly awaiting
Dick and Jane and two plus two. Not my
Brendan. His eyes streamed, his nose
ran and he clung to me like a snail on a
strawberry. I plucked him off and
escaped.
It wasn't that Brendan didn't like school. He was the kid at the preschool
Christmas concert who knew everyone's
part and who performed
operatic
passion. Brendan just didn't like being apart from
me. We'd had some good
times, he and I,
in those preschool years. We played at the pool.
We skated on quiet
morning ice. We
sampled half the treat tray at weekly
neighbourhood coffee parties.
Our time
together wasn't exactly material for a picture
book, but it was time together.
And
time moves differently for a child. Now in Grade
1, Brendan was faced with five
hours of
wondering what I was doing with my day. Brendan
always came home for
lunch, the only
one of his class not to eat at his desk. But once
home, fed and hugged,
a far-away look
of longing would crease his gentle brow--he wanted
to go back to
school to play! So I
walked him back, waited with him until he spotted
someone he
knew, then left. He told me
once that he watched me until he couldn't see me
anymore,
so I always walked fast and
never looked back. One day when I took Brendan
back
after lunch, he spied a friend,
kissed me goodbye, and scampered right off. I
went,
feeling pleased for him,
celebrating his new independence, his entry into
the
first-grade social loop. And I felt
pleased for myself, a sense of well-being and
accomplishment that I, too, had entered
the mystic circle of parents whose children
separated easily.
Then--I don't know why--I glanced back. And there he was. The playground
buzzed all
around him, kids everywhere, and he stood, his
chin tucked close, his body
held small,
his face intent but not sad, blowing me kisses. So
brave, so unashamed, so
completely
loving, Brendan was watching me go.
No book on mothering could have prepared me for that quick, raw glimpse into
my child's soul. My mind leaped 15
years ahead to him packing boxes and his dog
grown old and him saying,
mind I tore up the card every mother
signs saying she'll let her child go when he's
ready. I looked
at my Brendan, his shirt tucked in, every button done up, his toes just turned in a
bit, and I thought,
With a
smile I had to really dig for, I blew him a kiss,
turned and walked away.
2.
Just One Wish
Fox River gave life to the country town of Colby Point, for the road and the river
ran alongside one another. Colby Point
was really the name of a road that crept
between the hills and valleys of
McHenry, Illinois. Homes were scattered here and
there -- mostly summer homes and
retirement homes. At the very end of the road
there houses all faced one another.
Three sisters -- all single, all seniors -- lived
in one
of the homes. Across the way
their widowed first cousin lived in a yellow
house. Next
to her lived their brother,
Bill, and his wife, Cleo.
Cleo had multiple sclerosis, so the pair had moved to Colby Point seeking a quiet,
relaxed life. Little did they know when
they relocated to this serene area that they
would end up rearing their
granddaughter, Margie. Before long, the once-quiet
neighborhood became active with the
sounds of a child.
Margie always looked forward to the arrival of Christmas, and this year was no
different as winter began to settle
like a warm blanket around Colby Point. Everyone
was in a flurry, for at the church
Margie and her family attended, the congregation
was preparing to share their Christmas
wishes with each other. Since Cleo
couldn
’
t
make it to
church, and Bill didn't like to leave her alone
for too long, he was in the
habit of
dropping Margie off at church early on Sunday
mornings; the aunts would
bring her
home.
As Margie sat in church that
morning, she rehearsed in her mind over and over
what
she would say. She wasn't afraid,
for she knew what an important wish this was. The
service seemed to drag on and on.
Finally the pastor uttered the words Margie had
been anticipating all morning,
“
This is a special time of year when everyone around
the world celebrates
peace and goodwill toward our fellow man. This
year, here at St.
John
’
s, we want to hear your Christmas wishes. We cannot fill everyone
’
s wish, but
we would like to try and fill a few. As
I call your name, please come forward and tell
us about your Christmas
wish.
”
One after another, the church members shared their wishes, large and small.
Margie was the last and the youngest to
speak. As she looked out at the congregation,
she spoke confidently,
“
I would like for my grandma to have church. She cannot
walk, and she and my grandpa
have to stay at home. They miss coming so much. So
that is what I wish for. And please
don't tell them, for it needs to be a
surprise.
”
Riding home with her aunts, Margie could tell they were speaking in low tones
about her wish. She hoped that they
would keep her secret. As the next Sunday came
around, Margie was getting ready for
church when Grandma asked,
“
Why are you so
fidgety
”
You haven't
’
sat still all morning.
”
“
I just know that something wonderful is going to happen today!
”
“
Of course it will,
”
said her grandma with a chuckle.
“
It
’
s almost Christmas,
you
know.
”
Grandpa was getting on his coat when he happened to look out the front window.
He saw some cars coming down the dirt
road one after another. Now at this time of
the year there wasn't too much traffic,
so this was really amazing. Margie pushed her
grandma to the window so that she could
see all the cars. Pretty soon the cars were
parked all up and down the road as far
as a person could see.
Grandpa looked at Grandma, and they both looked at Margie. Grandpa asked,
“
Just what did you wish for, Margie?
”
“
I wished that you and Grandma could have church. And I just knew that it
would come true. Look!
There
’
s the pastor, and everyone from church is coming up
the
walk.
”
The congregation arrived with coffee and cookies and cups and gifts. They sang
Christmas carols and listed to the
pastor speak on giving to others the gifts that
God
gives. Later that night, Margie
slipped out the back door and walked outside to
look
up at the stars.
“
Thank you,
”
she whispered,
“
thank you for giving me my wish.
”
That was just one of the many wishes granted for Margie as she grew up. Her
childhood overflowed with the love of
her grandparents, four great aunts and many
wise, caring neighbors. Margie was
truly a blessed little girl.
I should know -- I was that little girl.
3. The Rich Family
I'll never forget Easter 1946. I was fourteen, my little sister, Ocy, was twelve and
my older sister,
Darlene, was sixteen. We lived at home with our
mother, and the four
of
us
knew
what
it
was
to
do
without.
My
dad
had
died
five
years
before,
leaving
Mom with no money and seven school-aged
kids to raise.
By 1946, my older sisters were married and my brothers had left home. A month
before Easter, the
pastor of our church announced that a special
holiday offering
would be taken to help
a poor family. He asked everyone to save and give
sacrificially.
When we got home, we talked about what we could do. We decided to buy fifty
pounds of potatoes and live on them for
a month. This would allow us to save twenty
dollars of our grocery money for the
offering. Then we thought that if we kept our
electric lights turned out as much as
possible and didn't listen to the radio, we'd save
money on that month's electric bill.
Darlene got as many house- and yard-cleaning
jobs as possible, and both of us baby-
sat for everyone we could. For fifteen cents we
could buy enough cotton loops to make
three potholders to sell for a dollar. We made
twenty dollars on potholders. That
month was one of the best of our lives.
Every day we counted the money to see how much we had saved. At night we'd
sit in the dark and talk about how
the poor family was going to enjoy having the
money the church would give them. We
had about eighty people in church, so we
figured that whatever amount of money
we had to give, the offering would surely be
twenty times that much. After all,
every Sunday the pastor had reminded everyone to
save for the sacrificial offering.
The night before Easter, we were so
excited we could hardly sleep. We didn't care that
we wouldn't have new clothes for
Easter; we had seventy dollars for the sacrificial
offering. We could hardly wait to get
to church! On Sunday morning, rain was
pouring. We didn't own an umbrella, and
the church was over a mile from our home,
but it didn't seem to matter how wet we
got. Darlene had cardboard in her shoes to fill
the holes. The cardboard came apart,
and her feet got wet.
But we sat in church proudly. I heard some teenagers talking about our old
dresses. I looked at them in their new
clothes, and I felt rich.
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