安全感歌词高中英语新高考-英语作文：如何真正提高作文分数？—实评一个优秀学生的作文

高中英语新高考

-

英语作文：

< br>如何真正提高作文分数？

—

实评一个优秀学生的作文

关于作文

下面我要评的作文是一个成绩比较好的网课班同学的作文，很 多时候，很多学生

弄不明白，明明我已经很努力在写作了，句子长，各种复杂的语法结构 ；短语也

有，

但为什么分数不高。本文主要讲讲这个。

Nowadays,

idol- worshiping

is

popular

among

teenagers.

The

idols

are

their

heroes.

They admire them, they imitate them, and their world seems to be filled with them.

Recently, a pair of parents from Zhejiang province took their daughter, a middle school

student, to a fan meeting for her favorite star in Shanghai, even though there was a

typhoon in the city that day. Teenagers respond differently to the event.

Wang Yuxin, 17:

I don't agree with the parents' idea. To make their idol more popular, students often

spend

much

money

supporting

them.

They

waste

their

time

on

these

stars,

which

should be spent studying. What about the scientists who make lots of contributions to

the development of society? Many people don't even know these scientists’ names.

Wang Yidi. 15:

I agree with the parents’ action. It's normal for a teenager to have a favorite star. In

some aspects, the star they like is a reflection of the person they want to be. So, the

star may motivate them to work harder. I admire parents who take their children to

fan

meetings,

and

I

believe

the

experience

will

leave

a

great

impression

on

these

teenagers.

【写作内容】

1< /p>

．用约

30

词概括上文的主要内容；

2

．用约

120

个词谈谈你对

“

偶像崇拜

”

的看法，并包括如下 要点：

⑴

你如何评价目前年轻人

“

偶像崇拜

”

这一现象？< /p>

⑵

在你的生活中什么样的人会成为你的偶像，请举例说明。

【写作要求】

1

．你可以参照阅读材料的内容但不得直接引 用原文中的句子；

2

．作文中不能出现真实姓名和学校名称。

作文指导

1.

概括：具体的事例

(

某人做了某事

)+

评价

The

passage

tells

that

a

pair

of

parents

accompanied

their

daughter

to

Zhejiang

province who was eager to see a movie star, her idol, despite a typhoon. Opinions are

divided on the event.

细节：

even though there was a typhoon in the city that day

—

》

despite a typhoon

Teenagers respond differently to the event.

—

》

Opinions are divided on the event.

2.

评价现象：主要从品格

/

价值观来说明

I think we should be cautious about idol-worshiping. Star fans, the majority of whom

are

teenagers

and

young

adults,

are

used

to

blindly

following

every

aspect

of

celebrities'

behavior,

accepting

both

positive

and

negative

influences

as

universal

truths. The young, once their values are shaped by them, tend to be slaves to fame

and wealth at any cost. Besides, large quantities of money and time spent on idols will

put great pressure on their families, let alone study.

3.

我的偶像

In

my

opinion,

what's

most

important

are

values

and

qualities,

such

as

honesty,

diligence, and persistence. Therefore, my heroes are scientists who devote themselves

to

the

exploration

of

space

and

have

just

made

a

big

breakthrough

i

n

Chang’e

4’s

landing on the moon.

学生作文评点

With idol-worshiping gaining popularity, many teenagers tend to meet for their idols

desperately.

（

meet for

搭配用错了，

tend to

表示习惯或趋势，此处不适合，修改：

tend

to

meet

for

改为：

are

crazy

about

joining

their

idols’

meetings.

）

Just

as

the

passage above demonstrates, netizens hold very different opinions as to this issue.

It can be said with certainty that the parents' behaviour is excessive more or less.

（这

2