教师节演讲稿-东北松花江上
第二讲 增加细节的5大高分技巧
在应用文写作中，增加细节内容的描述是
必不可少的。在信息提纲类写作中，考生一定
不能简单地翻译或者仅仅完成所给条目的指定内容；在看图
作文中更不能只是轻描淡写图片
内容，否则很有可能造成内容不充实、词数要求不达标或者结构不连贯等
问题。适当增加细
节内容，能够使习作流畅、丰满，达到应有的表达效果。
列举具体的实例进行补充说
明
(2019·浙江卷6月·应用文写作)我仍旧记得……
1．I still remember...
→I still remember
what you have devoted to improving my oral English
and English
writing.
2．(2018·浙江卷11月·应用文写作)这是一个黑色的皮革钱包。
It is a
black leather wallet.
→It is a black leather
wallet with my ID card,2 credit cards and around
200 dollars
in it.
3．(2020·宁波综合检测·应用文写作)我想大体上介绍一下中国的传统文化。
I'd
like to talk briefly about Chinese traditional
culture.
→I'd like to talk briefly about
Chinese traditional culture，especially Chinese
painting.
4．(2020·台州市第一次质量预测·应用文写作)现在，我想与你
分享春节的一些传统风
俗习惯。
Now，I'd like to share with
you some traditional customs of the Spring
Festival.
→Now，I'd like to share with you some
traditional customs of the Spring Festival，
the
most important festival in China.
5．我想找一个像我一样喜欢旅行的笔友。
I'd like to seek a pen
pal who is interested in traveling just like me.
→I'd like to seek a pen pal who is interested
in traveling just like
possible，we can travel
together or share traveling experiences.
6．我是一个充满活力的健康男孩，我非常喜欢体育运动。
I am a healthy
boy full of energy so I like sports very much.
→I am a healthy boy full of energy so I like
sports very much，especially outdoor
er I have
time，I'll go hiking or mountain climbing with my
- 1 -
classmates.
7．我要花一些时间和父母在一起。
I'll spend some time
staying with my parents.
→I'll spend some time
staying with my parents，chatting with them and
doing some
housework.
[题组过关1]——根据括号内提示完成句子
1．The Internet is playing a more and more
important part in our daily
life._____________
_____________(我们不仅能阅读国内外的新闻)，but also get
information，send emails and attend online
schools.
2．Laura is a standard American style.
__________________________(她说一口完美
的美式英语)，and
that's why I am crazy about her.
3．However，it
seems people are unaware of the negative effects
of mobile phones
on communication.
_______
__________________________________________________
_______________
(比如，很多人越来越不重视面对面的交流)．
4．However，every coin has two sides，so does the
Internet.
____________________________________
____________________________________
(比如，沉溺于网络也许会影响我们的学习和工作)．
答案： can not only
read news from home and abroad
2．She speaks
perfect American English
3．For example，many
people begin to pay less attention to face?to?face
communication
4．For example，being lost in
the Internet may affect our study and work
增添与所写信息相关的
神态、动作、
结果、心理描写以及背景渲染等内容
(2019·北京卷·书面表达)在农场里，我们帮忙摘西瓜。
On the
farm，we helped pick watermelons.
→On the
farm，we helped pick working I realised how hard
it
was to work in the fields under a hot sun.
1．(2020·丽水市检测·应用文写作)当我们爬山时所有人都捡垃圾。
All of
us picked up the rubbish as we climbed up.
→All of us picked up the rubbish as we climbed
up，helping to beautify the
- 2 -
scenery.(结果描写)
2．我有时去村西的小河游泳。
I
went swimming in the river of the west of the
village now and then.
→I went swimming in the
river of the west of the village now and water
in the river is very clear.(背景渲染)
→Weather
permitting，I went swimming in the river of the
west of the village
now and then.(相关背景)
3．旅行了一周后，他回到了家。
After a week's trip，he
returned home.
→After a week's trip，he
returned home，tired but very happy.(心理描写)
[题组过关2]——根据括号内提示完成句子
1．________________(考虑到这项活动很有意义)，we intend to
design a uniform suited
to our own class.
2．I'll try my best to make your uncle happy
here.
________________________________________
________________________________
(我热切地期盼着他来我们城市参观)．
3．At that moment，I
became the focus of the whole class and
______________________(充满了自豪和自信)．
4．Finally，I would like to ask a few questions
about his personal
life，
_________________(这一定很有趣)．
5．(2019·河北
五个一名校联盟·书面表
达)_________________________________
________
_____________________________________
___________________________________
(从你的信中得知你已被剑桥大学录取)，I'm more than glad to write
to offer my
warmest congratulations.
答案：ering the activity is of great valueis
meaningful
2．I am eagerly looking forward to
his visit to our city
3．was full of great
pride and confidence
4．which must be very
interesting
5．Knowing you have been admitted
to the University of Cambridge from your letter
增加相关信息的时间、地
点等内容
1．(2019·北京卷·书面表达)在那之后，你可以去上海。
After
that，you can go to Shanghai.
- 3 -
→After that，you can go to
Shanghai，where you can stay for a week.
2．(202
0·江山市教研二模·应用文写作)作为一个传统，中国学生总是向老师表达感激
之情。
Chinese students always like to express
gratitude to their teachers as a
tradition.
→With Teachers' Day approaching，Chinese
students always like to express
gratitude to
their teachers as a tradition.(增加时间)
3．我要和父母一起去超市购物。
I'm going to do some
shopping with my parents in the supermarket.
→I'm going to do some shopping with my parents
in the supermarket and won't be
back until
about 5：00 in the afternoon.(增加时间)
4．我已经带来了你让我归还的两本书。
I have taken with me
the two books you asked me to return.
→I have
taken with me the two books you asked me to return
to the City Library.(增
加地点)
[题组过关3]——根据括号内提示完成句子
1．____________________(几分钟过去了)but the whole
class was in complete silence.
2．The Chinese
Silk Road,
__________________________________
___________________
__________________________
______________________________________________(起源于今天
的西安，最后到达……的东海岸)the Mediterranean，is
well?known to the world.
3．I was attracted by
the beauty of the city ________________ (一……就……)I
arrived here at 6 o'clock in the morning by
plane.
4．(2020·台州市二模·应用文写作)I'd like to invite
you to attend our class
meeting next week
____________________(如果你有空)．
答案：l minutes
passed
2．which starts from today's Xi'an and
finally finishes at the east coast of
3．the
momentimmediatelyas soon asdirectly
4．if you
are available
适当增加与所给信
息相关的原因、条
件、让步、手段、目的等内容
- 4 -
(2019·全国卷Ⅰ·书面表达)我能给参观者介绍中国的绘画技术。
I
can introduce Chinese painting skills to visitors.
→I can introduce Chinese painting skills to
visitors，which can help them know
more about
Chinese culture.
1．(2020·舟山市·应用文写作)不久我将成为成年人。
It won't be long before I become an adult.
→It won't be long before I become an adult，so
I feel very excited as well as
a bit
nervous.(引起的结果)
2．(2020·金华市模拟·应用文写作)我们城市将在下个月1
5—30号举办丝绸之路国际
艺术节(Silk Road International Arts
Festival)。
The Silk Road International Arts
Festival will be held in our city from 15th
to 30th next month.
→Aimed to promote
international cultural exchange and cooperation
among
countries along the Silk Road，the Silk
Road International Arts Festival will be held
in our city from 15th to 30th next
month.(分词作状语)
3．假设你是李华，你的英国笔友Henry最近来信询问你高考后的暑
假安排。请根据下面
要点写一封回信，说明你的计划，并简述理由。①休息；读书；②参加社会活动
①I need a good rest.I'll do some reading.
→I need a good rest because I do feel tired
after the hard work of all these
course，I'll
do some reading for fun，and for knowledge as
well.(因果关
系)
②I'll take part in some social
activities.
→If I have free time，I'll take
part in some social activities.(条件状语)
→If
possible，I'll take part in some social
activities.(条件状语)
→I'll take part in some
social activities so thatin order that I can know
more
about the society.(目的状语)
4．Tracy来电话说和你在咖啡屋(Bolton Coffee)的见面取消。
Tracy called，saying that she couldn't meet you
at Bolton Coffee.
→Tracy called，saying that
she couldn't meet you at Bolton Coffee as she has
something important to do.(原因状语)
5．我也帮助邻里的孩子补习英语。
I also helped children in
the neighborhood with their English lessons.
→I also helped children in the neighborhood
with their English my
joy，they made rapid
progress and their parents thought highly of
me.(增添结果)
- 5 -
[题组过关4]——根据括号内提示完成句子
1．We were
happy and returned home ________________________
(我们捡完所有的垃
圾之后)．
2．I often join in many
activities ________________________
(来和其他同学交
流开拓我的视野)．
3．____________________________(众所周知)，Earth
Hour is an activity which aims
at saving
energy.
4．(2020·胡州市第一次适应性测试·应用文写
作)________
_________________________(为了帮助人们了解更多的中国传统文化)，our
school is intended to hold a series of
activities.
答案： we had finished collecting all
the rubbish
2．in order to communicate with
other students and broaden my eye
3．As is
known to all of us
4．To help people learn more
about Chinese traditional culture
结尾适当发挥，写出个
人感受、评价、
希望、倡议等
(2019·北京卷·书面表达)回家后，我与父母分享了我的经历。
When I
came back home，I shared my experiences with my
parents.
→When I came back home，I shared my
experiences with my they were
very proud of
me.
1．虽然这个暑假我觉得很累，但我为我所做的事情感到很高兴。
Although
I was very tired this summer holiday，I felt very
happy for what I did.
→Although I was very
tired this summer holiday，I felt very happy for
what I
did because I got a knowledge of
farming experience.(个人感受)
2．我想这样的活动是必要的和有意义的。
I think such activities are necessary and
meaningful.
→I think such activities are
necessary and meaningful，from which I learn that
we should help people who are in trouble if
possible.(评价)
3．我们坚持坚定的信念：游客对中国的传统文化将会知道的越来越多。
We hold the firm belief that the visitrs will
know more about chinese traditional
culture.
We hold the firm belief that the visitors will
know more about Chinese traditional
- 6 -
culture，so I hope we students should
read more books about Chinese traditional culture
in our spare time.(希望)
4．作为一个学生，保护我们的学校环境并使它干净是我们的责任。
As a
student，it's our duty to protect our school
environment and make it clean.
→As a
student，it's our duty to protect our school
environment and make it
the Chairman of our
school suggests our school hold a series of
activities to call
on students to take action
to do it.(倡议)
[题组过关5]——根据括号内提示完成句子
1．_____
__________________________________________________
_________________
(作为一个专业的篮球运动员)，he is one of
China's bestknown athletes.
2．I think
Beij
ing_______________________________________________
_______________
(非常值得再次参观)．
3．In my view，_
__________________________________________________
____________
(不管互联网多么吸引人)，it shouldn't
separate us from our loved ones.
4．___________
__________________________________________________
___________(
通过这
个实验我们得出一个结论)：the
temperature doesn't change when ice is melting
into
water.
5．Let's develop good habits of
saving energy in our daily life and
_______________________
(尽力为我们的环境做出更多贡献)．
答案： a professional basketball player
2．is
well worth a second visit
3．no matter how
attractive the Internet is
4．We drew a
conclusion through the experiment
5．try to
make more contributions to our environment
Ⅰ.按要求对下列句子进行扩充
1．我上课认真听讲。(增加目的状语从句)
I_
listen_to_the_teachers_carefully_in_the_class_so_t
hat_I_can_understand_wha
t_the_teachers_say.
2．一年一度的“校园书市”(the campus book
fair)目的是提供一个平台。(增加定语
从句)
- 7 -
The_annual_campus_book_fair_aims_to_provide_a_plat
form_where_students_can_ha
ve_a_chance_to_excha
nge_and_make_use_of_their_books.
3．我经常参加体育锻炼。(增加目的状语；举例说明)
In_order_to_strengthen_my_body，
I_often_ta
ke_part_in_different_kinds_of_exercises_with_my_cl
assmates，
such_as_playing_football，going_swimm
ing_and_playing_badminton.
4．我经常去图书馆阅读。(增加原因状语和时间状语从句)
Interested_in_reading_books，
I_often_go_to
_the_library_to_do_some_reading_when_I_am_free.
Ⅱ.请为下面的短文适当增加细节
Dear Sam，
The College
Entrance Examination lasts for two examinees are
tested on
Chinese，math，the science and are
stressed during the examination and the
questions are difficult and complex.
答案：
Dear Sam，
Thank you for your I'll tell
you something about the once?a?year
College
Entrance Examination.
There is no doubt that
the examination is very lasts for two days
from June 7th to examinees are tested on
Chinese and math on the first
science，arts
and English are tested on the second are
physically and mentally
stressed during the
examination and the questions are difficult and
we
are full of confidence because we are well
all believe that the fruits
of our efforts
will be sweet.
- 8 -