幼儿音乐启蒙-军营生活
小学英语五年级上册各单元作文范例及点评
My
English Teacher
Miss Tang is my
English teacher. She
’
s very pretty. She is tall and thin.
She
has
two
big
eyes
and
a
small
mouth.
Her
hair
is
long.
She
likes
cats
very
much.
And she likes singing and dancing, too.
Her English is very good. We often play
games in English classes. She is very
kind to us. We all love her.
【要领点评】
这篇作 文的题目是“我的英语老师”，是一篇介绍人物的作文。小作者开门见山，直
接点题，首
先介绍了英语老师的姓名，然后逐一介绍了她的外貌特征、喜好、英语水平、
上课特点以
及师生情感等。
小朋友们在写作文时，要注意使用自己最熟悉的词
[
组
]
，以免写出一些错句子。写作
< br>时要注意意思连贯、语句通顺、标点正确、书写清晰、规范等。
My Days of the week
I
’
m a student and I am in Grade 5.I get up at six o
’
clock every day. I have
breakfast at half past six, and go
to school at seven o
’
clock. I have classes
from Monday to Saturday. I have
an English class on Friday and I have a PE class
on Tuesday. I don
’
t have to go to school on weekend, and I like going swimming
on that day.
【要领点评】
这篇 作文的题目是“我的一周”，小作者没有说一些空话，而是从自己的亲身经历
写起，叙述
了自己一周七天的所作所为，并特别强调了星期天的喜好，写得自然、流畅。
小朋友们写作文时要注意人称及谓语动词的变化，要依据提示 ，结合自己的实际，
写自己身边熟悉的事情。
I can help do housework
I
am
a
girl.
My
name
is
Li
Ling.
I
’
m
in
Class
Three,
Grade
Five.
I
’
m
very
helpful
at
home.
I
can
water
the
flowers,
empty
the
trash
and
sweep
the
floor.
After
meals,
I can help my mother do
the dishes. On Sunday, I can wash the clothes.
What about
you? Are you helpful, too?
【要领点评】
本篇 作文的题目是“我可以帮助做家务”，作者主要叙述自己在家帮助做的事情，
介绍自己的
名字，所在年级及在家能做的家务，很详细，到位。
小朋友们在写作时，应尽量写一些亲自经历的事情，这样会避免在作文时显得太空，
因为只有自己经常做的事情印象才会特别深刻。写作时还要注意大小写和时态。
My Village
My
village
is
very
beautiful.
There
are
many
houses
in
the
village.
Near
the
village, there is a forest. A small
river is in front of the village. The water
in it is very clean. We can see some
fish in the river. Near the river, you can
see a mountain. Some flowers and grass
are on the mountain. I like my village.
Welcome to my village!
【要领点评】
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本文以“我的村庄”为题 描述了自己家乡的风景。介绍了村庄的房屋、森林、河流
及大山，使人看了这篇作文后确
实感觉到“我的村庄”的美丽。小朋友们在写作时，可仔
细想一下自己的村庄或所在城市
的特点，尽量使用本单元学过的单词或短语进行叙述。
小学英语五年级下册各单元作文范例及点评
My weekend
There are two
days on the weekend, Saturday and Sunday. On
Saturday, I often
go to my dancing
class in the morning and do my homework in the
afternoon, and
I
often
help
my
mother
do
some
cleaning.
On
Sunday,
I
always
visit
my
grandparents
in the
morning and do some reading in the afternoon.
After dinner, I often watch
TV with my
parents. At that time, we can talk with each other
and say something
happily. We often
have a good time.
【要领点评】
写法：这篇习作是按照时间顺序记叙周末的活动，记叙了周六和周日的上午和下午分别做
了哪些活动及对活动的感受。即：周六上午：舞蹈课→下午：做作业和帮妈妈做清洁→周
日上午：看望祖父母→下午：阅读→晚上：看电视，与父母交流→感受：高兴和愉快。我
们还可以选取周六和周日中的几个比较主要的活动来写，
先说明什么时间在什么地方由什
么人做了什么事，有什么感受。再按照活动顺序把活动内容写清楚，最后抒发一下对这次
活动或这个周末的感想。
时态：这篇短文我们可以用三种时态来写
:
a.
一般过去时（主要描述你上个周末是怎样度
过的）
;b.
一般现在时（主要描述你经常怎样度过周末）
;c.
一般将来时（主要描 述你要怎
样过周末）。这里我们来表述平时是如何过周末的，所以采用一般现在时来写。
注意：活动的相关表达方法可采用旧知识，
eg.
（例）起床
get
up
，和新知识，
eg.
Climb
mountains
去爬山中的
un
很容易错写成
nu
。
还要注意不要出现病句，
eg.
“
I
often
watch
TV with my parents.
”不要写成
“
I often with my parents watch TV .
”
词量上控
制在
50 ~ 80
之间。
My
Seasons
We
have
four
seasons
in
a
year.
I
can
do
many
interesting
things
in
each
season.
In spring,
the weather is cool and windy, I can fly kites
when it
’
s windy. And
I
can go hiking with my family when
it
’
s sunny and cool. I like hiking. Summer
is hot in the north of China,
but it
’
s not long time. I often go swimming. It
can make me healthy and
strong. I can also wear my beautiful dresses. Fall
is a
season with harvest. And I can eat
delicious fruits in this season. I can watch
the leaves fall. Winter comes,
it
’
s often snowy in winter in my hometown. When
it snows, everything is
white. We can play with snow and make a snowman,
skate
and
ski.
And
winter
is
my
favourite
season,
because
of
the
Spring
Festival.
I
love
seasons. I love the nature.
【要领点评】
写法：这篇短文是描述“我的四
季”，在写法上，是根据春、夏、秋、冬四季的更替来写
的，先讲明每个季节的特征，之
后再写在这个季节中的主要活动或比较有代表性的活动。
同时讲一些自己的真实感受，最
后阐述自己最喜欢的季节。在实际的写作的时候我们还可
以先写出自己喜爱的季节及主要
的活动内容，之后再去讲其他几个季节，还可以多讲解一
下地域的季节特征和大自然中的
其他景色，
如：
秋天的田地里一片金黄，
农民在收割等等，
这样写出来的四季更贴近实际。
时态：这篇习作讲的
是“我的四季”，是比较惯常的一些行为，所以我们最好采用一般现
在时和情态动词结合
活动的写法。即：在什么季节，天气如何，我们可以做什么。
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注意：
在写作内容上，
不可以像以往的内容那么简单，
因为有 四个季节，
所以要写明季节，
季节天气，季节性活动，活动的人，活动的
感受等，要求句子顺序要正确，在写作中还要
注意关联词的使用，如用了“因为”，就不
能用“所以”，二者不可以同时出现。词量要
控制在
80
个词以内。
My family
There are five people in my family.
They are my grandma, grandpa, dad, mom
and I. Look! Grandma is watching TV.
Grandpa is reading a book. Dad is writing
an e-mail. Mom is cooking dinner. I am
doing my homework. I love my family!
【要领点评】
写法：这篇习作介绍了自己家的
家庭成员，以及此刻他们正在干什么，表达了自己对家人
的感情。
时态：由于本单元主要讲的是现在进行时态，所以建议采用现在进行时态。
句型：主语
+be+
动词的现在分词。
注意：本单元的重点是现在进行时态，注意在写句子时要保持时态的完整性，即系动词和
动词的
ing
缺一不可。
A Field Trip
It
is
a
nice
day. Our
class will
have
a field
trip
today.
The
classmates
are
very
excited.
Look! Here we are.
There
’
re a lot of activities to do. Amy is watching insects.
Peter is
collecting leaves. They want to write a report.
Mandy is catching
butterflies in the
woods. Tim and Bob are playing chess. Some of the
classmates
are
having
a
picnic.
There
is
a
lot
of
delicious
food
to
eat.
Oh,
who
’
s
that
over
there? It
’
s Miss White. What is she doing? She is taking photos. We had a very
good time. I
’
ll never forget this field trip.
【要领点评】
写法：这篇习作是按照郊游时的
画面来描述的，记叙了同学们分别在郊游中做了哪些活动
及郊游的感受。
时态：
这篇文章可以用一般过去时和现在进行时来写。
由 于本单元主要讲的是现在进行时，
所以，这里我们采用现在进行时比较合适。
句型：××
. is/are doing sth. She /He is doing sth. They
’
re doing sth.
注意：活动的相关表述法采用新旧知识相结合去写。注意时态的转换、描写感受时用一般
现在时。
PEP
小学英语六年级上册各单元作文范例及点评
Li Ying
’
S Hobby
Li
Ying
likes
English
very
much.
She
works
hard
at
it.
She
reads
English
every
morning. She likes
speaking English. She often listens to the radio.
She watches
TV only on Saturday
evening.
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Does she like
dancing? No, she doesn
’
t. But she likes drawing and singing.
Her
parents
love
her.
And
all
the
teachers
and
her
friends
like
her,
too.
She
says
her
hobbies make her happy.
【要领点评】
这一篇写爱好的文章
,
小作者的 写作思路很值得我们学习
,
他没有具体写到刘莹的某
一种
爱好
,
而是从学习到课余的多种爱好入手
,
对刘莹 的各种爱好进行了粗线条地勾画
.
从
“爱好”这个角度来
看刘莹的话，我们会觉得这个形象很饱满。
小朋友们写这种“叙事写人
”作文时，可以从两个角度下手：一是具体地描绘；二是
和上面小朋友一样，粗线条地勾
画，二者各有所长，另处在行文中使用一些问句，使用一
些转述的话，可以使作文更有灵
气，避免了平铺直叙的缺点。比如上文的“
Does
she
like
dancing? No, she
doesn
’
t.
”和“
she says her hobbies make her happy.
”就是十分
不错的句子，使读者眼前为之一亮。
Don
’
t be against the traffic rules
I go to
school from Monday to Friday .I go to school by
bike at 7:30 in the
morning
.I
must
cross
two
busy
roads
.If
the
traffic
light
is
red
or
yellow,I
know
I
can
’
t cross the road ,so I wait.
If the light turns green, I know it
means
“
Go
”
, and then I walk across the
road .I always ride on
the right side of the road .I am never against the
traffic
rules.
【要领点评】
这篇作文的题目是“不要违反交通规则”，小作者没有说一些空 话，而是从自己的经
历写起，叙述自己以什么方式去上学，在上学的路上是怎么做的，很
形象。
小朋友们在作文时注意不要图大，那样很容易使文章显得空洞，
而要写自己身边熟悉
的事情。要注意行文中字母的大小写、句子的标点符号等。
I Love My Family
Here is a photo lf my family. These
are four people in my family. They are
my father, my mother, my brother and I.
My father is a doctor. He works in
a hospital far away. He goes to work by
subway. My mother is a teacher. She
works in a school near my home. She goes to
work by bike. After work, they like
reading books. Who is the tall boy? He is my
brother. He is five years older than
me. He is a singer. He
’
s now in Beijing.
He goes there by plane.
I love my family.
【要领点评】
一个平 凡的题材，
一篇生动的作文。
这样的命题，
我们可能面对几次，< /p>
甚至几十次了。
但这位小朋友的笔端很是灵巧，了了数言，让一个幸福的家
庭跃然纸上，很值得我们去思
考，我们能做到吗？
小朋友的这篇作文除了语言优美之外，在结构上也有闪光之处。先总说，将自己的家
人逐个介绍一遍，后分说，把家人的工作、上班方式，爱好一一细说。最后以一句话进行
概括，起到点题的作用。我们在写类似的作文的时候是不是也可以借鉴呢？
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