-
PEP
小学英语六年级上册各单元作文范例及点评
Li Ying ’S Hobby
Li Ying likes English very much. She works hard at it. She reads English
every
morning. She likes speaking English. She often
listens to the radio. She
watches TV
only on Saturday evening.
Does she like danci
ng? No, she doesn’t. But she likes drawing and singing.
Her parents love her. And all the
teachers and her friends like her, too. She
says her hobbies make her happy.
【要领点评】
这一篇写爱好的文章< /p>
,
小作者的写作思路很值得我们学习
,
他没有具体写 到刘莹的某
一种爱好
,
而是从学习到课余的多种爱好入手
,
对刘莹的各种爱好进行了粗线条地勾画
.
从
“
爱好
”
这
个角度来看刘莹的
话，我们会觉得这个形象很饱满。
小朋友们写这种
“
叙事写人
”
作文时，可
以从两个角度下手：一是具体地描绘；二是和上面小朋友一样，粗线条地勾画，二者各有
所长，
另处在行文中使用一些问句，
使用一些转述的话，
可以使作文更有灵气，
避免了平铺直叙的缺点。
比如上文的
“Does she like dancing? No, she doesn’t.”
和
“she says her hobbies make her happy.”
就是十
分不错的句子，使读者眼前为之一亮。<
/p>
Don’t be against the traffic rules
I go to school from Monday to Friday .I go to school by bike at 7:30 in the
morning .I must cross two busy roads
.If the traffic light is red or yellow,I
know I can’t cross the road ,so I
wait.
If the light turn
s green, I know it means “Go”, and then I walk across the
road .I always ride
on the right side of the road .I am never against
the traffic
rules.
【要领点评】
这篇作文的题目是
“
不要违反交通规则
”
，小作者没有说一些空话，而是从自己的经
历写起，叙述自己以什么方式去上学，在上学
的路上是怎么做的，很形象。小朋友们在作文时注
意不要图大，那样很容易使文章显得空
洞，而要写自己身边熟悉的事情。要注意行文中字母的大
小写、句子的标点符号等。